Read this Before you Dismiss your Dreams Again

Today I got to see me a few years ago, not in any one person, but in many.  Of course, it got me thinking…let me share:

Some would be surprised to know that my default is introvert.  I would rather be alone or with a few I truly trust – which is only a few – than a roomful of people.

I love to observe people rather than participate with them.  As a species we are interesting.  Simply fascinating.

But wow, interacting with my clients, my groups and the places I get to go speak and deliver workshops is so powerful!  When you are with the right group…interacting the THE BEST.

Outside of those situations, it is often, really often, that I find myself not quite a part of what is going on.  I don’t mind.  I see it most keenly when I am at my son’s activities because the rest of the time, I tend to be with people more like me: wandering, seeking, creative spirits who want to be authentic and real.

I welcome the separateness I feel.

It’s not that the people I see when I am at my son’s activities aren’t that…it’s just that in general, they are more like the life I took action to move away from than the life I have now.  My life isn’t for everyone.  It is for me and I love it.  I love my life.  I love the randomness, I love the creativity, the lack of a 9-5, the sometimes unstable nature that has me wondering where that next grocery trip is coming from.

While to some it would feel chaotic, to me, it is simple.  There is a simplicity in doing what I love. My soul sighs in love for me as I do it.

I spent today watching people as we went to a soccer tournament, me and my squeak.  I saw the new vehicles, the workout gear never sweated in, the mass produced jewelry, the china made goods, the GMO laden food…I saw my former life reflected in many people around me.  It just is no longer my choice.

As we drove down to the games, my son and I were talking about how his brothers ate when they were home versus him.  It startled me to be reminded of a time when I was trying to feed my family well, making that transition, but hadn’t yet heard of the local Co-op.  I wondered how many people fit that description today. 

I wondered how many would say they are looking for more and better for themselves and struggling to find it.  Because the “it” is not yet defined for them.

A few key questions come to mind: 

 1. How do you define your “it”?

The “it” is personal, it is carnal, it is real and it is scary sometimes.  It can be real scary to know that your life does not suck, but that you know it can be different and be even better.

2. But what is that path to get there?  How do you navigate that? 

We all have that potential for more within us. We all can discover what “it” is in our lives and go after it.

Many who want to be coaches and inspirationalists find themselves in this boat.  “I have an idea, I want to help people, I want my life to be more…BUT” ….and then fill in the blank.  It might be time, money, others taking priority or lack of confidence. Or maybe something else for you?

3. If you can’t make time to live your dream, how do you think that inspires others?

What I find it really boils down to a true lack of order and clarity in your own life if this is you.  Once our own house begins to find order order, once we start the actions to clear away the self imposed chaos, we can find that direction and pursue it with a vengeance…as if angels carried our bags and forged ahead of us marking the path.

4. What needs to be put in order in your house? 

For me, one things was to reconcile with the fact that I enjoy being separate.  I don’t have to be the center of attention to feel valid.  I can be separate and still support my son. I can interact with others but not participate in what doesn’t agree with me.  I can disagree respectfully and not engender hatred.  I can own my decisions.

What is boils down to is truly loving who I have become.

Do you?

You can get to know you and love you if you don’t. Start with the intention to do so and allow the actions come in to your life. Most of us need to increase the time we spend with just us.  Book an hour for just you this week.

Immediately all the reasons that is too hard may have just spring up.  Too bad.  Push through them.  Is this important to you or not?  Do you believe you deserve this or not? 

If you don’t, then even more you need to force this time for you into your life.

Do it and let me know how it felt! 

Jennifer Murphy is a life coach, glass artist, creator of The Art of Living Dangerously.  Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

Who is the Coach on Your Field?

I sat there listening to them scream at their players, berating their efforts, directing them and distracting them.  *Caution it’s about to get petty*….They had the look of high school about them with matching outfits complete with t-shirts pulled tight against their post baby pooches familiar in the kind of mom who lost the weight but isn’t in shape. *you were warned*   Their kids were exasperated and other parents got up and moved.  My son leaned into me to whisper, “gawd that’s annoying, I am so glad that isn’t you.”

Am I being judgmental?  You betcha.  I own that completely. 

I own that I probably shouldn’t care about the ridiculous outfits.  It isn’t something that needs to occupy real estate in my awareness. Nor is it any of my business. In reality, I thinks it’s cool to just be who you are.

But we all have those moments of petty judgment and being slightly (or more) bitchy.  So I release that, apologize for my thoughts and any pain they cause.

What I cannot let go it with is the constant distraction as they tried to “coach” from the sidelines.

Allow me to go a little deeper with this and let’s see if we can’t figure it out. 

I invested, took another job even, to commit my son to a Futbol Club for soccer.  Club soccer provides a professional coaching staff, discipline and training beyond what any parent coach can provide.

Example from practice recently: it was hard for me to sit in my sideline chair as my son was disciplined and made to sit out for a time because of, what I later learned, was his disrespectful behavior.  In the moment, I decided to trust the coach. I am glad I did.

This club is entrusted with the most precious thing in my life and I am asking him to invest in himself by playing and learning as hard as he can.  And I am asking the club to return that investment to him.  So why would I get in the middle of that?  And why would these parents feel like they need to?

I think the moment of clarity around this actually happened prior to this particular experience with these parents.  During the first game of the day, our staff coach had argued a little with the teenage referee.  He said, “these guys are u9 and this is a teaching experience, let’s cut a little slack and teach instead of penalize.”

So yeah, lighten up mom – all of us. Yeah, me too.

It is also a real metaphor for life. 

Where are you in your own growth pattern?

Do you think you already know it all?  Are you placing too many “should’s” on yourself?  Are there too many directors in your life? Do you need to figure out what mistake you made and learn how to never do it again? What lesson are you learning right now, what lesson is spirit teaching you?

A good coach helps you figure that out – whether you are on the soccer pitch or the field of life. My coaches helped me and continue to help me see the lessons before me and how I can get better at being me. If you want to keep leveling up, keep doing more and being more – you have to know where your direction is coming from. An awareness develops and the growth in inner confidence and the inner guru voice helps when those moments of sideline commentary appear (and sometimes that sideline commentary is the voice in my head) – I can decide, I get to choose whether I pay attention or not.

So where are you in your growth pattern?  Are there external voices you need to shut off? Are there patterns or lessons that keep repeating that you need to cut off energy to? What different action do you need to take now to move to the next level in your life?

If you aren’t sure, I can help you if you take the action of accepting my invitation for a complimentary 30 minute confusion to clarity strategy session.  We’ll get clear on what you want, what holds you back and talk about how you can move past it. Click here to accept.

Learn more about Life Coach, Glass Artist and Creator of The Art of Living Dangerously (un)Program,  (and get free stuff) Jennifer Murphy at www.nolimitslife.guru