I sat there listening to them scream at their players, berating their efforts, directing them and distracting them. *Caution it’s about to get petty*….They had the look of high school about them with matching outfits complete with t-shirts pulled tight against their post baby pooches familiar in the kind of mom who lost the weight but isn’t in shape. *you were warned* Their kids were exasperated and other parents got up and moved. My son leaned into me to whisper, “gawd that’s annoying, I am so glad that isn’t you.”
Am I being judgmental? You betcha. I own that completely.
I own that I probably shouldn’t care about the ridiculous outfits. It isn’t something that needs to occupy real estate in my awareness. Nor is it any of my business. In reality, I thinks it’s cool to just be who you are.
But we all have those moments of petty judgment and being slightly (or more) bitchy. So I release that, apologize for my thoughts and any pain they cause.
What I cannot let go it with is the constant distraction as they tried to “coach” from the sidelines.
Allow me to go a little deeper with this and let’s see if we can’t figure it out.
I invested, took another job even, to commit my son to a Futbol Club for soccer. Club soccer provides a professional coaching staff, discipline and training beyond what any parent coach can provide.
Example from practice recently: it was hard for me to sit in my sideline chair as my son was disciplined and made to sit out for a time because of, what I later learned, was his disrespectful behavior. In the moment, I decided to trust the coach. I am glad I did.
This club is entrusted with the most precious thing in my life and I am asking him to invest in himself by playing and learning as hard as he can. And I am asking the club to return that investment to him. So why would I get in the middle of that? And why would these parents feel like they need to?
I think the moment of clarity around this actually happened prior to this particular experience with these parents. During the first game of the day, our staff coach had argued a little with the teenage referee. He said, “these guys are u9 and this is a teaching experience, let’s cut a little slack and teach instead of penalize.”
So yeah, lighten up mom – all of us. Yeah, me too.
It is also a real metaphor for life.
Where are you in your own growth pattern?
Do you think you already know it all? Are you placing too many “should’s” on yourself? Are there too many directors in your life? Do you need to figure out what mistake you made and learn how to never do it again? What lesson are you learning right now, what lesson is spirit teaching you?
A good coach helps you figure that out – whether you are on the soccer pitch or the field of life. My coaches helped me and continue to help me see the lessons before me and how I can get better at being me. If you want to keep leveling up, keep doing more and being more – you have to know where your direction is coming from. An awareness develops and the growth in inner confidence and the inner guru voice helps when those moments of sideline commentary appear (and sometimes that sideline commentary is the voice in my head) – I can decide, I get to choose whether I pay attention or not.
So where are you in your growth pattern? Are there external voices you need to shut off? Are there patterns or lessons that keep repeating that you need to cut off energy to? What different action do you need to take now to move to the next level in your life?
If you aren’t sure, I can help you if you take the action of accepting my invitation for a complimentary 30 minute confusion to clarity strategy session. We’ll get clear on what you want, what holds you back and talk about how you can move past it. Click here to accept.
Learn more about Life Coach, Glass Artist and Creator of The Art of Living Dangerously (un)Program, (and get free stuff) Jennifer Murphy at www.nolimitslife.guru