Less is Happiness

In 2013 the sale was final on my suburban home.  A dream realized as I moved from my complicated, maintenance needy home of 2700 square feet to my 535 square foot apartment.  Just me and my son at this point, I sought less.  I wanted a simpler less “stuff” inspired life and I began to create it.  Last year I moved again; this time to a similar sized space cutting down my commute time – finding increased simplicity and reducing my overall footprint on the physical landscape of our world.  Walking to my studio a block away became a routine and I have loved it.

When I began to construct my idea of the perfect life, simplicity was my soul’s demand. Simplicity meant a greater degree of freedom and independence in my life, allowing me to create the lifestyle I wanted – not just the home, car or job, the WHOLE picture.

In each successive move, I freed myself of things: clothing, decorations, kitchenware, memorabilia, and more.  Each piece I discarded had become miscellaneous – without purpose- and with each discarded item, I felt lighter.  Several truckloads left the big house, several more when I got into the new space and couldn’t create a walkway through the boxes, even more when I moved to the latest apartment and gradually some moved out with the seasons over the past year as well.

Now I prepare for another move – this time to a larger place. As my 9 year old heals from his separation anxiety and gets bigger and more mature, he needs his own space.  A shared bedroom is no longer a place of security and simplicity, but a place of too close quarters and lack of freedom.  So it is time to consciously expand.

Tomorrow we make the move, my 30th, just one block down to a 2 bedroom apartment where my squeak gets his room and I get my private space back.  One might think it would be time to expand “things” or hold onto things “just in case”.  But I have taken no fewer than 8 boxes full of things to our local donation center in preparation for this move.  Just because I have the space, doesn’t mean I have to fill it.

As I sat in contemplation this morning, the connection of my last few moves to living in my life and participating in my life became clear.  In the past, I have clung to things as a measure of my worth or sense of success.  This behavior served only to stress me and create a false sense of security as I continued to build my altar to materialism and external opinion – really seeking to fill a void of lack I held inside.  It was like trying to paint an interior wall of a home from outside the window.

In moving toward a sense of internal success and creating a lifestyle built on experience and connection, I have felt more secure, more okay and more successful than ever before – making less money and having fewer things.

I participate actively in creating my life: deciding what to allow in or set a boundary against.  I reject the idea that someone else’s idea of success has to be mine.  My definition of success is what I strive for and connect with daily.

So with each move I make and each thing I release, I am allowing my life to be what I want it to be.  I am being intentional about what is allowed into my life and I am intentional about what I release.

And it feels so right.

For you:

  1. Survey your home – what is working with your energy and what is draining it? Are there things you need to release?
  2. Do you have a concept of what you want your lifestyle to involve? Is it all encompassing or focused on a single factor?
  3. Are you conscious about what you are allowing into your life? Or is it happening and you are trying to simply keep up?

We have a choice in what we create in this lifetime. Feeling successful in one area doesn’t have to mean sacrifice in all other areas.  And life doesn’t have to suck to want to make a change.  It can be good and get even better.  If you want a little guidance with this, let’s talk.  Grab a free 30 minute discovery session via my website www.nolimitslife.guru

Release Limits, Embrace Life.

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Integrative Life Coach Jennifer Murphy is focused on partnering with the professionally successful, yet personally unfulfilled, to create the connected, sustainable lifestyle they crave. Learn more at www.nolimitslife.guru

Do You Work Your Life, or Does Life Work You? by Don Marlette

Every day you wake up and promise yourself that you’re going to live today to the fullest, and not let  your fears hold you back. You decide to do the tasks you’ve been putting off forever, deal with the assignment that’s been nagging you for the last two weeks, but –  somewhere along the way – you lose your nerve.   You keep postponing things and making excuses for all the wrong things that happen in your life.

And so it goes.  Every.  Day.

How do you take charge of your life?

Our culture’s conviction is that there must some technique, secret or product that, when applied properly, will make all our dreams come true and make us eager for the next step in our path.  The truth is there is no secret at all.  There is no magic system, seminar or ritual that will instantly erase your fears and zap you into your best life ever.  It’s really not a question of “how” to do anything!

We’re asking the wrong question.  Instead of asking “how” to take charge of your life, it is better to ask what kind of response life is asking of you from the outset.  Just as a child “out of control” is sometimes simply asking to be heard, your life may be asking you to stop and listen to your heart for a moment.

Actions to take charge of one’s life often fail because they are not inspired actions.  Think about when you’ve fallen in love.  Did you go out and buy the book, “The 8 Habits of Twitterpated Lovers” or “How To Enjoy the Person You’re Head-Over-Heels In Love With”?  No way!  Love itself seemed to take over, and you followed a mindset of inspired action that seemed to pull you effortlessly from one idea or action to the next.

The same is true about your life.  Life is not a project; it’s a love affair!  We spend far too much time building monuments bereft of meaning and fixing problems that are best left to someone else, all in the name of being “busy”, rather than taking inspired action from a heartfelt call.

You are not asked by life to “work on” things, to create personal growth projects or construct role-based goals, ideals and aspirations simply for their own sake.  Instead, you are asked to fall in love with life, allow your hopes and dreams to emerge from a passion-driven heart, and take inspired actions to make these hopes and dreams a reality.

The first step toward living from that passionate state is the most important.  Stop.  Find a quiet place with your journal and a pen.  Close your eyes and focus inward.  Listen to your heart’s call.  What is it saying to you at its deepest level?

The next step is to take an honest inventory of your life right now.  What is working in harmony with that call?  What is working against it?  And then be brutally honest with yourself: Are you willing to let go of those things that are in working against your heart’s deepest longing?

Finally, ask your heart what two or three actions you can take over the next week to make its desires a reality.  Listen carefully and note those actions.  Make a commitment to do them, realizing that these are inspired, soul-driven actions with a higher purpose.  You will quickly realize that these actions are things you really want to do, because they lead you to a life you actually want to have.

As you accomplish each action, celebrate it.  After all, this is not busywork; you are taking meaningful steps toward a soul-realized life!

Once you actually experience the energy and joy from moving toward who you really are, other inspired actions will start to emerge into your awareness.  Now I won’t lie to you: challenges will come your way at times.  Yet, you will be able to face these challenges, knowing that you are aligned with a greater purpose, and this alignment will give you the insight, energy and resolve to overcome those obstacles with creativity and focus.

 

Ready to move forward with your heartfelt life?  Don Marlette can help.  Sign up for a free 30 minute consult and learn more about Don Marlette and the entire No Limits Life team at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ex·pec·ta·tion

Expectation is defined as a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

Often on autopilot, we move through our days with expectations of what will occur, not realizing that those expectations are helping to create and manifest future events. If you have a favorite restaurant chances are you go there because you had a good past experience and you expect it to be good again. If you make a commute to a regular place like school or work you often take the same route because you expect it to be the fastest or easiest route to take.

When you expect something to happen, good or bad, you are tuning yourself to that vibrational frequency and the law of attraction gets to work to make sure that happens.

Let’s say you know that you have a meeting with your boss next week about a missed deadline. You spend time each day thinking about what will happen and you eventually settle on the fact that it’s going to be bad. After all, you missed a deadline so how could anything good come out of that? If you’re like most people you’ll even run through the conversation in your head at least a dozen times before the actual meeting – you expect this conversation to go a certain way and in this scenario it’s bad. You finally have your meeting and no surprise it was terrible. Exactly what you thought was going to happen did and the conversation went exactly as you planned in your head.

Two things are important to note from this example:

  1. Your expectation of what was going to happen and the repeated thoughts
  2. Feelings that came with your focus of that expectation

You expected to get in trouble because you missed a deadline. Perhaps this expectation was because of past experiences or it came from observing others go through the same thing. Your expectation had its own vibration and you continually practiced that vibration when you thought about it and played through the conversation in your head. Each time you thought about it you felt bad further tuning yourself to that vibration and by the law of attraction that is what was brought to you.

Your past experiences and current expectations don’t have to dictate your future experiences. You don’t have to create your life by default and continually experience the same crud you don’t want to experience.

Making the change to conscious creator starts with acknowledging that you do create your future and making the decision to participate in that creation. Bottom line, EXPECT SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Why do most heart attacks happen on Mondays? Because we’ve decided that Mondays suck and we dread them. Ever have a case of the Mondays?!

There is no magic bullet, it’s going to take continual awareness and you’ll catch yourself sliding back into old thought patterns and that’s ok. When you realize what you’re doing stop and steer yourself in the direction you want to be headed.

The next time you have a meeting with your boss, what could happen if you expect it to go well? What could happen if you change the conversation in your head? With a little practice, amazing things happen when you start to expect great things.

 

13 Years was a Lifetime Ago

My son is just a few years younger than I was when I had my first drink. This occurred to me late last week as I watched him sitting among his stuffed animals giggling at a video he was watching on his iPad. He is so young still, while just beginning to press into young manhood, way too young to be worrying about his first drink right?

I was 12 if I am remembering correctly – though I won’t bet his life on the accuracy of my memory.  My memory has some major disconnects – severed by alcohol or self-preservation. Either? Both?  Who knows? They are simply either not there or jumbled.

At 12, I had the drink that solved the puzzle for me – it was what I had been looking for, the thing to make me feel whole; or so I thought.  I had no concept of how sharply that would turn on me, how severely it would hurt and how wrong I was about the impact it was having on me. 

I was a “good kid” – decent grades, good friends, family who was flawed (whose isn’t??!!) and grandiose visions of a future quite different than the one I was living.  I was angry at a lot of things (real and imagined)  and that anger got no better as time and experience went on into my teen years.

Alcohol became a very important companion in my life – subjugating the anger, dulling it and enabling me to perform acts of greatness (in my mind) on a nightly basis.

I was 28, in the military and deployed to the Middle East working in a US embassy when it all came tumbling down – my “bottom” found.  Whose grand plan it was to drop an alcoholic into the only area of the Middle East that would allow me essentially open access to booze – I was soon to learn.

I had vowed to my soon to be ex-fiance that I would not drink while over there.  He told me that I was not myself when I drank – that he didn’t trust me.  A close friend had once told me that when I drank it was like someone flipped a switch  – I’d be looking at him and I’d be me – the cool chick he adored.  Then I’d look away and look back and crazy me had taken over – the one who would run up hundreds on his bar tab, dance on the table, start fights and run away, forget she was married or engaged or whatever her state was and in general spread chaos in her wake.  I remember shrugging that off when he told me…but also hearing the warning.  When my soon to be ex-fiance asked me to not drink I wholeheartedly agreed – and meant it so completely I was even a little surprised myself.  But a little voice inside whispered, “we’ll see….”.

The night I failed him hurt – and I could no more explain why I had gotten drunk that night than I could explain why the sun rose.  I had no choice.  I just did. When asked why I was drunk, I was honest for the first time in my life and answered “I don’t know”; if you don’t have a “problem” with alcohol that may make no sense.  Who doesn’t have a choice? How can you not know why you violated your word? How is that possible?  Was I weak willed, incapable of committing – what the hell “no choice”?  That’s ridiculous right?

I was stupendously strong willed in many other areas of my life.  I had put myself through college, worked 40 hour weeks, full loads at school up to 27 credits in a semester maintaining a solid GPA.  I had risen out of my small town and humble beginnings to become an officer in the US Army.  I had married and divorced and survived, I had two combat deployments under my belt and was fiercely independent…but I couldn’t NOT drink. 

On the night of April 18th I was handed the reason and the solution – roughly 2 weeks after my failure with my promise.  The reason was I was alcoholic – the solution was to surrender to the Truth.  I knew of alcoholism.  My grandfather was over 50 years sober at his death, my grandmother is approaching 35.  Yet it had never crossed my mind that alcohol was my problem. Instead I blamed people, circumstance, places and anything else; because if it was alcohol…I was lost.  As much as I hated to admit it I didn’t know how to function without alcohol.

But I was about to learn.

13 years after that fortuitous night, I sit reflecting on a completely different life – it was a lifetime ago.  Today I am dependent on nothing except the spiritual direction of my guides and the experiences spiritual connection sends me.

Here are 13 things I am indescribably grateful for since taking that last drink:

  1. I have been without alcohol for 13 years and today have a healthier, more complete experience than I could have hoped for – the very feeling I sought to gain from alcohol.
  2. My son has never seen, nor will ever see me under the influence of alcohol.
  3. I don’t seek connection on inauthentic terms – I am me and I am stoked you are you. If we don’t jive, we can go our separate ways without animosity. Go do you – you rock.
  4. I can see my part in life – when I make a mistake I own it and do my best to make amends, but I also know I am not the sole responsibility holder. We all have free will and choose how we justify it or flow with it.
  5. I can be of support to others without expecting anything in return – and I can detach from their skepticism of that offer.
  6. I always remember my experiences – and can be present for the full spectrum of emotions that come with them.
  7. I can have honest relationships.
  8. I have no idea what fireball whiskey tastes like.
  9. Social Media became a thing AFTER my last drink.
  10. Being able to see that recovery from alcoholism means being able to participate in life fully rather than either crushing it or watching from the sidelines.
  11. Perfection is a myth but progress is a worthy aspiration.
  12. It’s not my job to manage your life – but I can certainly offer assistance when you seek it.
  13. I’m okay.

It’s important to me to pause on occasions like the date of my sobriety and be grateful to spirit, to the people who helped me discover my truth and to learn how to live it.  I dedicate my life to being grateful for the gift of full spectrum living.

If you struggle with alcohol and its impact in your life – there is a solution.  Check out your local Alcoholics Anonymous listings, talk to your doctor, or consult a therapist:  get your questions answered and let your free will guide you to the next choice of needing help, continuing on or some third option.

For those who like to see the negative in every word along the way, allow me to be clear: I am not a prohibitionist.  Alcohol in and of itself is not a problem – there are issues associated with alcohol I morally disagree with that are separate from my inability to drink it – but on the whole I don’t think it’s the devil nor see any reason to lobby for  its demise.  You want to drink – go for it, not my place to judge.

I share this writing from my personal experience only and offer suggestions for those who want them.

 

 

If you’d like to learn more about me (Jennifer Murphy) and my business (No Limits Life) you can visit www.nolimitslife.guru.  We offer online courses, live events and private coaching focused on partnering with you to create the lifestyle you crave but haven’t developed yet. 

 

 

Purposeful Living by Eilynn Dixon

Give yourself the permission to succeed.

Give yourself permission to live the life of your dreams.

Give yourself permission to be passionate and purposeful to have a powerful life.

There comes a time in life we ask the question: is there more to this life, am I living my purpose?

Once the questions begin to formulate you become aware that there is something more that you want. You have realized that you have been going through life just existing and not really living. You are having an awakened moment. When you realize that your life in the current state could be a little bit more in some aspect, and the life quest begins.

You have to be determined that you want to be fully engaged in life and responsible for your happiness. You have to be ready to be that person that you always wanted to be. It is now time for you to give yourself permission to start living the life of your dreams and living on purpose. It is time to start executing the baby steps to accomplish your big goals.

It is crazy to think you would choose to not be successful and not be engaged with your life purpose. But subconsciously we do that! There are times you will see you were faced with opportunities to be able to pursue the things you wanted most – but because there was no level of awareness you overlook them and then ask later why things don’t work out the way you wanted them to. There are always moments to be a success through the little things in life, but when you are asleep you don’t see them.

I am one that knows firsthand how important it is to be actively engaged in your life through living and not just existing:

When I had my awakened moment in 2011 it felt like I had been driving for a long time and arrived to my destination and didn’t know how I got there. It was as though, all the years prior to that moment were almost a blur because of my lack of living and only existing. I had raised children, gotten married, had successful positions and still all I was doing was existing. I was not living from who I really truly was, my authentic self. I didn’t remember because I took more time worrying about everything else instead of enjoying each moment and staying engaged in life and active in my happiness.

There were times I would be happy and ecstatic about all the greatness of life but those moments seemed to be brief and began to be spaced further and further apart until I did not even recognize the little moments of happiness. These moments that were important didn’t cost a dime, the little moments that matter most. Once I awakened and begin my journey of a purposeful life I begin to recognize happiness, I begin to see the moment and savor in the present. I begin to understand the importance of gratitude through doing things that I enjoyed that made my heart smile. Now don’t get me wrong, it is an everyday life long process to always to try to be a little bit happier or do something a little bit better to make your heart smile to always feel success.

It is important that we really smell the flowers and that we smile at a baby in the grocery store. It is also important to live on purpose through a work that is filled with passion.

When you are able to live every day doing what you love through purposeful and passionate living you feel awesome, it really is what we all aspire to have. We want to wake up each moment and skip out of bed excited to start the day, we all want to be able to have that hearty laugh that makes our belly ache, and we also want to be able to support, give things and experience the things in life that we so deserve. Life is meant to be full of many experiences through meeting new people, eating new things, seeing new things, and just being you! When you are able to start taking the baby steps to do this you will begin to live a life of living and not just existing!! Live your best life, my friend, you deserve all the greatness that you aspire for and oh so much more!!

Is this you? Are you looking to move your life from “ugh” to “oh heck yeah!!”. Then let’s talk about how you can learn more about Eilynn and how she helps people do this! Schedule a free session with Jennifer at No Limits Life to discuss what is up with you, what you are seeking and how the team at No Limits Life can support you!