No One Else Needs to Validate My Purpose

The last 5 years have been spent focused on a big vision and then taking steps every single day to create it.  That was a highly conscious decision to stop living the expected – doing what I ‘should” and living like “everyone else” or a “normal life”. First of all, what is normal anyway?  And how boring does that sound?

In my creative and experiential journey a few things have been confirmed, clarified or revealed: What I don’t (and can’t) believe and what I do believe in as I pursue this unconventional approach to living my life.

What I don’t believe in:

I don’t believe I can sit on my ass and hope for it and it will come.

I don’t believe I can wish super hard and have it show up because I am an especially good wishes.

I don’t believe I can be a great person with cute shoes and stuff will simply arrive at my door.

I don’t believe in platitudes or settling.

I don’t believe I need anyone’s confirmation or approval of my path.
What I do believe in:

I believe in work, adaptability and courage.

I believe in risk taking balanced with taking care of myself.

I believe is rolling with the punches and countering the hell out of them with my own hooks and jabs.
I believe in action and the experience that comes with it.

I believe in my journey for the experience that it is.

We can sit back and watch opportunities, we can resist the pull of the unfamiliar and unknown and we can fear what others might think.  I don’t think that’s how we get to living our purpose.  And it isn’t about words: no Facebook post,  Instagram picture or tweet is a replacement for live experience.  It is about your personal connection to what feels right and is right, acting on it and allowing it to keep you growing and evolving and having more meaningful experiences with this lifetime.

Today at game 1 of my son’s soccer tournament he left the field frustrated – his team had been beaten in score, but not in fight.  I knew he had played well and had some amazing assists.  But our coach had an opposite opinion – he said only a couple had been giving their all and told the team that.  My son left frustrated and unmotivated.

Before anyone gets their hackles raised about this, I can say that yes, my son could have played harder.  I don’t believe in “everybody wins” and “participation medals”.  And this scenario provided an amazing opportunity to help my son look within.

I shared with him that when I run into situations where people say I am not “good enough” or “can’t”, I accept the challenge.  Instead of dwelling in the energy of their “meanness” or judgement and adapting victims mode, I go into warrior mode.  It’s game on time buddy and your opinions don’t mean crap.  I set out not to wage war with their opinion, but with my internalization and reaction to that opinion and I seek to change what I can: how I feel about it.  So I asked him if he wanted to change that feeling inside and go out on the field at our next game and kick some serious ass, or wallow in the criticism of this coach?  He voted to kick ass.  #proudmo (he calls me Mo)

We have two more games in this tournament, one today and one tomorrow and he will make a choice each time he steps onto the pitch.

A lot like life right?  We make a choice to run around attempting to manage and control everyone else’s perceptions, or we can get straight with our internal code and live by it.  This is our purpose.  I keep hearing people say they need to find it, as if it is lost.  It isn’t freaking lost silly – you have it with you right now. It isn’t wandering around out there, no one else is holding onto to the key for it, no online course or personality assessment with give it to you.  You have it within.  You may need to look for it differently if you don’t feel like you have found it yet, but I promise it is there.

A few ways to tune out those external sources of invalidation:

1.  Ask yourself “who told me that?” When you encounter a critical belief.

2. Tune out social media for just a bit AND those friends who would have you limit yourself to the exact you that you are right this second.

3.  When a new tug shows up in your life, follow it.  When fear pops up to hold you back, ask yourself: What is the best thing that could happen, the worst things that could happen  and the most likely thing that can happen.

 

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave. To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

 

 

 

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