The other day I said, “you have to give yourself permission to do that” and my client looked at me and said, “why is that so important?
Yes, it is a “coachism”, but it is also an important energetic step toward change in many cases. Yet when my client challenged me, I found myself digging deeper for the real answer instead of the safe answer to her question.
It led me to my own journaling on the idea so that I could get really clear on why I tell people to do this, instead of just tossing that out there as a spiritual platitude or to sound like a sage (gag!).
What I came up with was both stabilizing and fresh for me:
- Permission is important because it opens you up to possibility
- Permission is important because you are conscious when you GIVE permission – think of it as a permission slip you would sign for a childs’ field trip – this one for a journey of your conscious mind and spirit.
- Permission is important because of the explicit NO it gives to things you don’t want. By saying yes to something you fill the void waiting – when you implicitly make decisions the void simply gets filled by whatever passes by.
- Permission is important because by God it is yours to give. No one else gets to say yes or no for you – it’s yours to give: your decision, your right, your choice.
Let’s look at the flip side for a second: Have you ever thought about not being specific and where that gets you? Not usually where you want to be right? When you can’t invest in the work to make the small decisions, how on earth would you expect to get to the clarity the big ones need.
Giving yourself permission to explore specific and non-specific ideas, to do or not do something, it is FIRM. It is unyielding and it is decisive – taking a stance and holding it. You have drawn the line in the sand with whatever you have given permission to. It is courageous and will absolutely provide you enhanced clarity in the next step of whatever you are doing.
So yes, you can write this phrase off as something we coaches and spiritualists toss out as woowoo platitudinal mumbo jumbo that is designed purely to assuage your guilt and “move you past” something. Or you can get serious about intention, about possibility and about what you allow or don’t allow in your life.
Spiritual Platitudes are the band-aids on the sucking chest wounds of our self-inflicted spiritual trauma – they do no good and usually just pile on to the problem. Permission – intentional decision making – is about proactively engaging in your life, your energetic commitments and your role here in this lifetime.
Grant yourself permission to be courageous and commit to intentional decision making – what do you need to give yourself permission for right now?
Love? Space? Time? Relationships? Inquiry? Possibility? Money? Health? the list can go on and on.
Then you want to say something like this:
Today I give myself permission for abundance – to allow in the wealth and security I know I am capable of and to give myself permission to let go of feelings of lack and insecurity. I give myself permission to give no quarter to lack.
It’s a decision, not a platitude. It’s a position of strength, not weakness. And permission is yours to dole out to you – go for it.
Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave. To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru