I Almost Told my Coaching Career to F^& Off Last Night

This is a post about purpose.  It’s about how irritations are reflections of our own fears and insecurities and about the aha I got from the ridiculousness of self-exalted-look-at-me-gurus-without-substance when I looked in the mirror.  And I curse a lot in it…you’ve been warned.

Yep, I almost just hung it up and left the industry.  I was DONE being affiliated with a bunch of self-appointed inspirationalists [yes, I may have made up that word] and guides who still poison their bodies with shit food and post lives on social media promoting false affluence.

[Note:  I do know there are some true, real, amazing people out there doing good work, I have worked with them and proudly call them colleague.  I am not referring to them.  If you aren’t sure which group you are in for me….I’d honestly wonder why you’d care?  Does my opinion really matter? If it does, I’ll share my mirror. Read on.]

To put it lightly, I’ve been irritated by some stuff lately:

Memes full of spiritual platitudes…

Self-pronounced proud warrior posts about what a top notch (fill in the blank) someone is and how unique and awesome their ideas or products are…

Selfies of “look at how much farther I have to go with my weight loss or yoga pose or mediation or whatever” which is really just a plea for “LOOK AT ME”…

Perhaps I am just being a bitch, but some of this stuff I am seeing in my social media feeds makes me want to leave my profession.  How is showing me a picture of your ass or face or tri-cep or what-the-fuck ever, supposed to truly help me get off the couch and into the fired the fuck up energy I really need to move forward?    Especially when it is accompanied with words like “hubby says I look great but I know I still have work to do” or “it was hard to get here, but wow I feel good”…

I just feel annoyed. 

And I am also a bit (huge) of a snarky bitch on the inside and you are just hearing it right now.

I’ve come a long way.  And it wasn’t always pretty.  The path truly fucking sucked some days; other days I felt like the boss of the world.  The path still sucks some days while feeling gloriously golden others. That’s the nature of this super cool experience we call life.

I sat on my couch last night spewing my ire all over my ever patient partner who simply nods when I get like this and lets me get it out.  He then usually jumps in with some super supportive words like “it’s because they ARE all super fucking annoying and you are in a different place from them – that’s a good thing.”  I do love him for that…but my truth is, when shit irritates me…it is often because it is reflecting something back at me.

Hold on to your pants, shit’s about to get real people. I’m gonna tattle on me.  As I stared in to the abyss of my reflection, here is what came out:

If I’m going to be honest – and I generally think that’s a pretty damn good idea – what is irritating me is actually a fear for my own presentation of my mission.  I dislike the kinds of things I listed above because I want to avoid being perceived that way more than I want to avoid gaining 10 more pounds.  I’d gladly add 10 pounds to the scale and avoid being perceived as a super annoying, superficial, look at me and tell me I am amazing kind of person.

I want to just be real and tell you that you deserve a kick ass life.  If something in my life inspires your grab life by the balls energy – hell yeah!  Use it, let it inspire you.  But I’d rather help you find something in YOUR life to inspire you and leverage the hell out of awesome sauce energy already within you.

So when I find myself being irritated by this kind of spiritual platitude bullshit and self-indulgent crap, I have to look in the mirror and check out my own behavior and actions.  It’s a great reminder of my own value of authenticity and genuine desire to serve instead of simply being seen.

As a service business owner and leader, I have to sell, simply being seen isn’t enough.  I have to attract and retain clients or all I have is a monument to me and my idea.  I’m a terrible builder so any monument I tried to construct would be complete shite anyway. Let’s not taint our imaginations with that…to avoid that, I do have to tell you what my team and I can offer you.

In a sales class I recently taught, I heard myself saying that when we sell, we are solving a problem.  If the person talking to you doesn’t have the problem you can solve, they aren’t a client.  If they do have that problem, they may not select your solution for one reason or another.  But you do owe it to them to share the information and you owe it to yourself to discover more about the problem as you discuss.

Aha, a piece of the real is uncovered in my reflection. 

In the sales process, my goal is always to be true to me and to allow the client to be true to themselves.  So when I see people in my field promoting themselves over their solution, promoting their success without the reality of the obstacles that truly exist…I get irritated.  There are real problems and challenging situations out there that people deserve to find their way out of with real support. Glossing over it with a selfie and a fucking platitude never offered me a solution.

A solution is rooted in reality.  It is in hard work, self-actualization and a true desire to take action and invest your most precious resources of time, money and energy to keep evolving and growing into the person you know you can be, live the life you know is possible and to embrace today over someday.

How to Shift your Energy:

Next time you go to like a meme, comment “beautiful” on a selfie, or endorse a superficial call to action look within and ask yourself where it resonates.  How will it impact your life and how will you turn that inspiration into action?  How does that piece of “mmm that’s nice” help you?  What is the real message you are getting from it?

Maybe like me, there is actually a mirror in that moment giving you more than just that initial reaction.  Maybe it’s introspection and change time.

What I’ll be Doing:

I can tell you that from here, I am re-engaged in the vigilance of sharing relevant, helpful information with my community.  If you follow us on Facebook or Instagram look for the “so what?” in our posts, the inspired action offered and the investment you can make in becoming….REAL.

 

Jennifer Murphy is a life coach, help captive in Cedar Rapids, but willing to stay because her son anchors her in place and he is so totally worth it!  An expert in helping people across the globe prioritize their values and create a life centered on what they value most, allowing them to shed stress, overwhelm and the BS that can suck the soul from our daily lives.  Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru 

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