“I Know” is Not Enough

Life hasn’t been going well lately. You know it’s time for a change. You know that of all the changes you could make, one stands out above the rest.

You know what you’re supposed to do, right?

And there’s the problem.

The problem is that you already know what to do to maximize your happiness, increase your joy, and live in the power of purpose, and knowing and doing are two entirely different things. After all, there are goals to set, plans to make, and alternatives to consider, and all of it is quite overwhelming.

Or is it?

I’ve got two vitally important things for you to consider.

First, knowing isn’t everything. In fact, it’s NOTHING.

The biggest problem we have is telling ourselves that grand old lie, “I know.” When someone – a friend, coach, adviser, or trusted confidant – tells us what we would do well to do, we respond with, “I know.”

And we’re telling the truth. We really do know. Well…we think we know.

The truth is that knowing is not about what’s going on in your brain. It’s not even about what’s going on in your thoughts.

You see, knowing means that you are doing, pure and simple. If you are living the way you want to be living, then you know that way of life. If you’re not living it, then you don’t know it.

Simple, right?

So if you know what you’re supposed to do, why aren’t you doing it? What’s getting in the way?

That gets to the second point. The biggest obstacle to knowing is your own mind.

Your mind is a treasure trove of thoughts, experiences, judgments and ideas. Everything you have ever experienced, everything you have ever done, and everything you have ever accepted as true, are all stored in your mind. Some of these are wonderful and helpful, while others are less than desirable for your life.

And some of them are flat out wrong.

When was the last time you actually sorted out your thoughts, to see which ones are helping you, which ones are getting in the way, and which ones are total lies? It’s definitely something to consider!

Here’s a quick and enlightening exercise to try: 

Find a quiet place, and simply sit for ten minutes – that’s all! – and watch your thoughts. No phone, no computer, no interruptions. Just you and your thoughts. Notice what you are thinking. Notice where they came from…or who they came from. Then notice whether they are helpful are not

Then realize that you can actually choose to get rid of the thoughts you don’t want. You can actually delete thoughts that no longer serve you, and replace them with thoughts that actually help you become who you truly are (not who people have told you who you are).

Yes, it’s a complicated road. It does seem overwhelming. But it isn’t.

No, you can’t do it alone. This is your LIFE, not a do-it-yourself project.

We humans live in communities for a reason: no one can get through this life alone. We exist to help each other let go of what binds us, and live the best life possible, using our unique abilities and gifts.

Ask Jennifer, Denny, Kari, or even me for help, so that you can get rid of those total lies in your mind, get empowered, and start proving that you know the right direction in your life by actually living it. Follow this link to start the conversation.  

Taking Action with Kari Rossetti

So, did you do your homework?  If you didn’t catch my last blog, no worries, I can do a quick recap so you can catch up!  I asked my readers to write down a list of ALL the dreams you have for your life right now.  Then think about dreams you’ve let go or stopped even considering them from happening.  Lastly, prioritize them.  Some of them may still be on you “that’s-no-longer-a-dream” list for a reason, so it can stay there.  Try to get at least your top 5 dreams, but even just 1 will work wonderfully for this next part.

This month is all about ACTION.

Before we run full speed ahead, allow me to remind you of how to achieve any goal…

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One step at a time.

 

I will be the first to admit, my name is Kari and I’m a list-aholoic.  (Crowd responds in a low mumble, “Hi, Kari.”)  I make a list of ever task and “to-do” I want to get done.  Sometimes the list gives me anxiety and I get overwhelmed just looking at it so I cope by dishing up a big bowl of ice cream and watching an unproductive show on Netflix.  *NOTE: This is NOT an effective method to achieving…well, anything.  Unless your goal is to catch up on your favorite series.  Then, CONGRATULATIONS on achieving your goal!!

But I’m going to guess that is probably NOT your goal.

So let’s refocus.  My list-making, and maybe yours, can cause anxiety, but generally the intention is to visual how you’re going to make it happen.  And again, say it with me, one step at a time.  You may have to repeat this to yourself dozens or hundreds of times while working toward achieving your goal.  I know I do…and it truly helps!

Take a look at what you’ve identified as your tippity-top goal.  Look at the goal and really reflect on how it will feel to achieve that goal.  Visualize where you might be, who you might be with.

Now, bring yourself back into this moment, right now.  Look at the goal again.  Write down 3 actions you can take this week and realistically accomplish that move you closer to your goal.  Only you know what you are already committed to this week, so take into consideration those commitments.  Look at your calendar and set aside intentional time you will dedicate to this goal and to your achievement of these action steps.

How do those actions you’ve set for yourself make you feel?  Do they feel like BIG goals or not-big-enough goals?  If you feel comfortable sharing them with someone, go for it!  Ask for support from a close friend or family member.  And remember, I am always here to support you too!

Until next month, good luck!  And wishing you many blessings♥

KariKari Rossetti is a Life Coach specializing in Career Exploration, Empowerment and Freedom.  She has been developing her skills informally over the past 5 years and recently discovered her calling to practice these natural skills professionally while challenging herself to grow and be the best coach she can.  She is obtaining her Professional Coaching Certificate in Personal and Executive Coaching in December 2017 from the Coaching and Positive Psychology Institute.  In her spare time she loves being in nature and playing with her family. She can’t wait to support you on your journey to freedom.

 

Are you Too Busy For Time Management?

This week my son is in a 7 hour a day week-long soccer camp followed by a chiropractor session, a haircut, competitive club soccer tryout and bookended by soccer tournaments.

It’s a busy week for him.

It’s also prime training time for time management.

He’s 10 and life won’t slow down from here.  Increasingly, demands will be placed on his time as he gets more social, craves more mobility, plays in middle school and high school sports in addition to his club and continues with his hunting and fishing seasons.  Eventually (I shudder) he will have a girlfriend and she’ll want his time (she had better be good enough for him!).  Life will get busier and as his parent it’s up to me to model for him the best way to manage those demands.

It’s the kind of thing we didn’t really talk about when I was his age, nobody did.  I don’t remember people glorifying busy the same way – triple and double booked and racing all over hell and back to make it to every graduation, birthday, sport and event.  People said no to the things that weren’t most important.  That is the model I had.  Rather than just talking about it, I crave modeling and living with a time management model that is simply…simple. 

Back to my question: are you too busy for time management?

A few other versions of the question:

Are you too busy to focus on what is most important?

Why are you spending time on things that are not important to you?

Is there a reason your kids needs to play 4 sports?

Do you truly want to sacrifice your personal time and experience in this life to live vicariously through your kids, your friends or people online?

If I gave you 30 seconds, a minute even, could you list the 3-5 most important areas of your life and what you are doing to enrich them?

Are you investing in things instead of experiences?

These are the kinds of questions I had to ask myself almost a decade ago when I wanted to unscrew how screwed up my life had become.  They were hard to answer – despite the model I had growing up.  I had to spend some time working with a coach to pull away all the objections, forms of resistance and utter BS I had chosen to pile up around me.

If you struggle to answer those questions, you are in need of some serious overhaul in the way you manage your time.  Time is a finite resource – we get 24 hours in a day, we get this one life to live (in this incarnation), and we deserve to treat ourselves well in how we use it.  Not just well…outstandingly amazing.  We deserve to treat ourselves outstandingly amazing.

Three things you can do right now in 5 minutes or less to start treating ourselves outstandingly amazing:

  1. Optimize the next 7 days. Spend 5 minutes looking at your commitments for the next 7 days.  Say no to the things that are energy draining and unnecessary.  Send the card instead of going to the graduation party of the neighbor kid you say hi to once a year.  Say yes to the things that move you forward in life.
  2. Admit you can only be in one place at one time. Take a deep breath and recognize that you are only one being.  You can only be in one location at one time.  It isn’t your job to stress yourself out completely to make everyone else happy.  If you choose to over commit, do it because it feels fun – not because you want to have a heart attack in the next 12 months and die from stress.  Pick the event, activity or commitment that moves you forward and delegate, decline or defer the rest.  FYI – I just postponed a massage so that I could focus on getting some work churned through so when I do get that massage, I am not freaking out about my to-do list.
  3. Schedule 15 minutes once a week to optimize your schedule. Right now, set a weekly appointment with yourself to spend 15 minutes a week optimizing the next month or so.  It will always be a state of refinement, that 15 minutes will yield huge gains.

Yep, I get it, managing all the moving pieces of life is tough.  Part of loving the life you are living is loving what you are doing in it.  Those things are your choice.  You can choose to be too busy for time management and just keep letting life happen to you. 

OOOOORRRRRR
You can take charge now, implement a couple of simple things and let me know how they work for you. 

If you struggle, it may be time to bring in the big guns of life coaching and together we will look at what drives you to insanity and help you conquer that chaos and chart a fresh course full of purpose and straight up fun.  Start here if this is you.

We have a mini-course on this coming up in August, then again in September.  It will kick off on August 1 at 11am CST and run for 4 weeks then again on September 12 at 730pm and run for 4 weeks.

Right now I am looking for input on this course and would love to have you weigh in via this short survey – can you do that? It’s only 8 questions and I have a bonus for those of you interested in taking this to the next step.

Click here to be an Influencer and provide us your thoughts on the best focus areas for the “Too Busy To Take It Time Management Mini Course”.

 

j36Jennifer Murphy is a life coach, help captive in Iowa, but willing to stay because her son anchors her in place and he is so totally worth it!  An expert in helping people across the globe prioritize their values and create a life centered on what they value most, allowing them to shed stress, overwhelm and the BS that can suck the soul from daily living.  Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru