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Face your shit.

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Photo by Hieu Li via Unsplash

When I sat down to write a blog post about stress management I thought about your typical solutions to relieving stress.  Take a bath, read a book, or go for a walk…

 

But then it dawned on me, those things are just band aids for your symptoms. They don’t get to the root of what is causing your stress so you’ll never see lasting results. If you want to reduce yourself of stress once and for all, there’s really only one option: face your shit.

I know that sounds harsh, especially if you opened this up looking for a nice bulleted list of things to do, but when you avoid your problems they cause lingering stress. At first it’ll be just a little bit to get your attention. You can heed the warning or turn away and watch your stress get louder and louder. You’ll see stress manifest in all areas of your life, maybe with nagging back pain or trouble sleeping. Until you give yourself the opportunity to deal with it and let that energy go, you’ll never rid yourself of the stress.

I’ve learned the hard way in my life. One of my biggest stressors, as with most of us, is

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Photo by Vitoly Taranov via Unspalsh

MONEY. I got to a point where I avoided it like a professional, I’m talking hardcore. I didn’t look at my budget, I didn’t open the mail and I left those bills in stacks. I told myself I’ll get to them later, I’ll check my bank account and budget my bills LATER, but later never came (weird right?). I did the bare minimum to get by, dealing with the absolutely critical bills. I told myself that I had plenty of money, until I was forced to face my shit.

One day getting my much-loved coffee, I swiped my card and it didn’t work. SHIT.

I pulled over into a parking spot expecting to feel a rush of anxiety, fear and frustration as I pulled up my banking app. I had to face that my bank account was negative sixty-two cents and I have a family to take care of. But in that moment I felt very calm, almost a level of peace you can say, which is not the reaction most people have when they realize they have no money! I felt that way because I finally faced my problem, accepted the reality and I literally felt the energy leaving. I LET IT GO!

Accepting where you’re at doesn’t mean that you’re stuck there, once you’ve accepted your reality you can get to work creating what you do want.  You don’t have to wait until you’re forced to deal with what’s causing you stress, pay attention to the many signs along the way and those begin with how you feel. When you think about the area that gives you the biggest stress, how does it make you feel? If the answer is not good, FACE IT. Look at it head on, accept that you’re there and that you can choose in that moment what you do want.

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Photo by Jared Erandu  via Unsplash

Get proactive with your own stress management, don’t wait until it gets out of control. Your body, friends, family members and even strangers will appreciate having a stress free you!

Abby

Abby
Abby Wickersheim

Abby Wickersheim is a life coach on the No Limits Life team.  Her focus is working with people to align their personal energetic vibration with the vibration of what they truly want to create.  She uses her personal coaching program “Positive on Purpose” to guide people from frustrated and blocked to open and positive. Learn more at www.nolimitslife.guru

From Passenger to Driver

The moment we give power to ourselves, crossing over from the passenger’s seat to the driver’s seat, we can never go back. I spent most of my life in the passenger’s seat: creating by default and wondering what was around the corner that I needed to protect myself from. In fact, I would say that all of my life was dedicated towards avoiding the bad, expecting and enjoying good things never crossed my mind.

It was a big bad world and people were out to get me. My first real job was in a call center. Those of you who have ever worked in one can relate to those people who were so terribly rude. I never knew how I was going to feel, I was a dumping ground for everyone else’s bad days-it wasn’t unusual to be yelled at and called names. I’d leave work feeling miserable, sad and defeated. I felt helpless and at the mercy of others, stuck in a vicious circle of blame.

It wasn’t just isolated to work, I could blame others for making me feel bad at home and in the general public too. I remember vividly wanting a lip ring in my early 20s, I thought it was the coolest thing ever and the day I got it I was so excited to show my family. I was really, really excited, I felt so confident and cool. I’ll never forget the look on my grandpa’s face when he said I “looked like crap”. My confidence and joy plummeted immediately, I began to question my own judgment. How could I have possibly wanted that?! I went from shear excitement to sadness in about 5 seconds.

In those days people made me feel things. If they told me how stupid I was, I felt like shit and surely they were right. They had the power to make me feel bad.

One day I woke up. I woke up to the concept that I own how I feel, no one else has the power to make me feel anything, it’s all my choice. Just because someone had a bad day and called me stupid because they weren’t getting their way, didn’t mean I had to feel bad. I jumped over that middle console right into the driver’s seat. With that jump I was empowered to experience life in the way that I wanted to.

It was an amazing concept that I was able to experience stability in my emotions. The ups and downs I experienced from reacting to everyone else’s behavior simply didn’t exist unless I allowed them to. It is a great power to have back in my hands, control. This power comes with accountability though. In having the power to choose my feelings I still had bad days. I’d catch myself slipping back and blaming the jerk who cut me off in traffic for sending me into rage and I had to push myself to be aware and take accountability for how I feel.

Don’t waste another day living in the passenger’s seat, own your emotions and know that you are the only one that can make you feel anything. You are unique with your own perspective that is just as valuable as anyone else’s.

 

Abby

Abby Wickersheim is a life coach on the No Limits Life team.  Her focus is working with people to align their personal energetic vibration with the vibration of what they truly want to create.  She uses her personal coaching program “Positive on Purpose” to guide people from frustrated and blocked to open and positive. Learn more at www.nolimitslife.guru

 

Facebook & Your Feelings

Oh Facebook, you allow us the opportunity to connect with people we otherwise wouldn’t connect to. You expose us to all types of perspectives and some of the most amazing recipes known to man. You also provide a home to the dreaded over sharers and complainers of the world that annoy the crap out of us! We ALL have that Facebook friend that drives us mad while we lecture them in our heads, we’ll never understand why they air their dirty laundry publicly or become a politician every time an election comes around.

facebook and friends

These people are draining us energetically, intentional or not.

Have you ever walked away from Facebook feeling more frustrated than before you checked it? If the answer is yes, you might want to rethink how you use it. Why? Because those feelings are in fact tuning your vibrational point of attraction whether you realize it or not. How you feel is your guidance system to know if you are attracting the people and circumstances you want or don’t want. It’s simple, if you’re feeling good you are on the right track to what you want and if you aren’t feeling good you are headed the wrong direction.

Do not despair, you can still use Facebook and keep your vibration on the right side of the tracks.

Consider these things when using Facebook:

Timing: 80% of smartphone users check their phones within 15 minutes of waking up. Most of us haven’t even brushed our teeth and we are opening ourselves up to a world of images and opinions that invoke feelings within us and start our day tuning to a less than ideal frequency. Consider when you check in – I suggest getting intentional with your vibration and getting your feet under you each day before you check in (literally and figuratively). It might mean that you don’t check in until after breakfast or after you’ve started your workday. Try tweaking your timing and see if you notice a difference.

Your friends list: How many friends do you have that you would actually speak to if you saw them in public? How many friends do you have that are negative and self-sabotaging? How many friends do you have that you can count on to provide positive quotes and articles that lift you up? Spend some time going through that friends list and get rid of the ones that don’t make you feel good. If you’re worried about hurt feelings or don’t want to cut the cord completely go to their page and unfollow them. Like magic you’ll no longer have to see them pop up in your feed and you’re still friends. Best of all they’ll never know!

The good stuff: Consider intentionally following pages that provide uplifting content, motivate you to reach your goals and make you feel good. Be intentional about what you’re exposing yourself to and control how you feel when using it. Here’s one of my personal favorites: https://www.facebook.com/NoLimitsLifeCoachingLlc/?fref=ts

At the end of the day you can be drained emotionally and energetically when you check in with the Facebook or you can be uplifted – what are you going to choose?

Abby

Abby Wickersheim is a life coach on the No Limits Life Team.  Her specialty is helping you tune your energies to what you want most in life and taking action to get it.  You can learn more about Abby and her programs at http://www.nolimitslife.guru