Life, Focus, Power

THE POWER I GAINED LIVING A FOCUSED LIFE WAS NOT WHAT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE

More than anything, I realized that I was giving a f#$k about a lot of things I really didn’t need to be GAF about.

Things like:

  • What other people wanted me to do
  • How I should fit in
  • How everyone else was measuring success

PRIOR TO THAT I MOSTLY I GAVE AF ABOUT THINGS THAT DIDN’T MAKE ME HAPPY – AND IT SHOWED:

  • I wasn’t healthy, stress ate me up and I bitched about more than I celebrated.
  • My answer to how are you was always “busy” (which isn’t an answer it’s a deflection to avoid revealing what’s really up in your life)
  • I kept thinking there was more to life than I was seeing…and I wanted to figure it out.

As I developed my own prioritization process which I now teach my clients and see them blossom with, I realized I was allocating F#$ks to things that drained me, not empowered me and that the power I would gain was simplicity – the ability to say yes to the things I aligned with and let the rest go.

FINALLY, I COULD BE FREE TO FOCUS ON WHAT I WANTED TO GAF ABOUT

Which is what inspired me to run a FREE CHALLENGE called FREE TO FOCUS in my Facebook group and provide deeper good stuff in a supporting email series.

FREE TO FOCUS IS ABOUT YOU FOCUSING ON WHAT YOU WANT TO GAF ABOUT

  • Letting go of distractions
  • Saying yes to the stuff that energizes and empowers
  • Stepping into the MORE that has been eluding you

Click here to join the challenge kicking off 23 October and you will receive

5 days of email and video support

Invite to the Art of Living Dangerously Facebook Community where you can share your successes for chances to win prizes

Access to life changing activities that can move you out of the rut of wanting more and not getting it, feeling overwhelmed by other people’s f#$ks and general “omg will it just stop?!” energy

Click here to join!

 

I should, I should, I should!

I should I should I should

If you had to count, how many times a day do you think you burden yourself with this phrase?

I should can carry some heavy consequences with its energy when you misuse it.  When you use it as reason to do something even when you don’t want to, don’t need to and it doesn’t fulfill you or those you care about in any way. But people expect it, so you do it. Because you should.

The ruler of should metaphor applies here: the ruler you carry around, never measuring up to, of all the things you should be doing, thinking, or feeling.

And every time you look at the ruler to see how you are measuring up – the ruler gets a little taller, or you get a little smaller and you never quite make it to the mark that others have drawn for you.

There is always a more out there.  Though, intuitively you know that more isn’t anywhere on that ruler…you keep looking.

And you feel like you never measure up.

What if you were free of the ruler and free to focus on all the fucks you WANT to be giving about the things you want, need and which provide a sense of fulfillment?

Should (used in the way of measuring) dictates to you.  When you are free to focus, you GAF where you want to GAF – no longer subjugated to anyone else’s should.

THIS IS WHY I DEVELOPED MY 5 DAY CHALLENGE KICKING OFF 23 OCTOBER: FREE TO FOCUS (ON THE F#$KS YOU WANT TO GIVE)

  • To free you from should
  • To release you from the doing, thinking and feeling you should be doing to the doing, thinking and feeling you ne dot be doing to create an awesome life
  • To indulge that craving for more you feel but haven’t been able to answer because you are so distracted by should

BE FREE, FREE TO FOCUS, ON THE THINGS YOU TRULY CARE ABOUT.

Sign up here to receive 5 days worth of emails and videos, get your invite to join the Facebook group to become eligible for challenge prizes and shift your focus into a more authentic you.

Join the FREE TO FOCUS 5 DAY CHALLENGE HERE

BEGIN FOCUSING ON WHAT YOU WANT TO GAF ABOUT

 

WHAT DO YOU GAF ABOUT?

WARNING: I am going to say the F word in this email.  If this offends you, please stop reading.  We are probably not compatible at this point. I appreciate you, who are you are and your boundaries – stay strong with them.  Me, I say the F word and I am cool with it.

WHAT DO YOU GAF ABOUT?

Super popular term these days right?  What do you give a f#$k about?

My partner has a t-shirt from our local co-op that says Local AF set against a picture of the state we live in.  Not our home state, but the state we live in.  It symbolizes where we get our food from.  Because, we GAF about our food.

We toss this phrase around a lot lately…and like so many, it has become diluted.  Because to truly GAF about something is significant.

I mean we only have space for so many fucks to be given in our world before the fucks we give become too many.

HOW MANY THINGS IN YOUR WORLD ARE YOU GIVING A FUCK ABOUT THAT YOU NEED TO STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT?

Where do you really need to and want to invest your fucks?

I recently read “The life changing magic of not giving a f*ck” by Sarah Knight and loved every word. Totally recommend you read it.  Her approach is similar to what I developed in aligning priorities – the tool I crated to help people focus on what matters most to them in creating life they love.

It is similar in that the focus is on doing what you want to do, not what you think you should do.  There is a HUGE difference in doing what you want to do over what you think you should do when it comes to energy investment aka fuck investment.

I particularly love the idea of a fuck budget:  setting up a number you have to give and when they are all gone…sorry fellas, no fucks here.

Love that.

I sped through the book, eating up the words and concepts and it felt instantly at home in my psyche.  In part because I already philosophically aligned 100% and in part because I needed to read it in that way to go even deeper with the energy.  Maybe you do too: get your copy here from amazon, or check your local library.

MORE SIGNIFICANTLY, IT INSPIRED THE UPCOMING FREE CHALLENGE I AM OFFERING IN MY ART OF LIVING DANGEROUSLY FACEBOOK COMMUNITY: 

Free to Focus (on the f#$ you WANT to give). It kicks off 23 October and is 5 days of sorting through your fucks and where you want to allocate and invest in them, thereby bringing your focus to the stuff you truly care about!

Each day will have a theme and those that post daily will be entered to win fabulous prizes!

Signing on via the link below will provide you exclusive access to the video and email series that goes even deeper in to each of the topics for the challenge (and it serves as week 1 of the Motivated for More 13-week EOY/BOY program that helps to finish on top and start even higher as we transition years)

READY TO JOIN? CLICK HERE TO GO ALL IN  ON THE CHALLENGE!

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at www.nolimitslife.guru

 

FALL INTO SOMETHING GOOD

Does your career leave you feeling like you fell into a vat of poo?

Is every day like swimming with concrete floaties?

Do you dread the day to tasks of being where you are?

You are not alone.

I was you once upon a time.

I blamed the dissatisfaction I felt in so many areas on the dissatisfaction I felt at work. I knew if I could find happiness at work, I’d be happier overall.

Research proves this: when you have a higher sense of career well being you feel a higher overall sense of well being.

Cool. How do you get it?

1. You fall into something good.

Instead of constantly bitching about how shitty your circumstance is, find the good. There is some small sense of goodness there. Maybe it is simply that the paycheck meets yours needs. That is good. Find the good to fall into every day and you will attract more good.

2. You act with good intention

You take action that are good for you. You eat right, you declutter, you drink water, you surround yourself with good high vibe people. You take action that you know is positive energy for you.

3. You get creative.

You look for the things you can shape to your style and you do it. The activities, events and processes that are tailorable, you tailor in such a way that you can find positive energy in them. This might mean a mindset shift, or a physical overhaul – or anywhere in between.

These three things have infinite numbers of outcomes ranging from finding a higher degree of satisfaction where you are or striking the entrepreneurial path. Wherever your energy takes you, falling in love with your career and satisfying that sense of “more” you have been craving is important for your overall well-being.

What are you going to fall into?

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 amI am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

Looking for More?

It is literally just sinking in…

I wrote a fucking book.

And published it.

I seriously did.

It’s crazy and insane to realize a dream.

It feels soooo right and soooooo weird all at the same time.

But that is what it is like when you do something you have been dreaming about for a long ass time.

I felt this way when:

I graduated college
Both times I got married (and divorced)
When I got my MBA
At my military commissioning
I traveled overseas for the first time
My first kiss (and sex)
I got promoted for the first time
I opened my own business
Received my coaching certification
Began teaching at the college level
Got accepted to my doctoral program

And on and on….

You probably have a list too.

Is everything you dream of on the already did it side?

gawd I hope not.

But there are a few things right?

We can put more on that side and take them off the wish I could side

To include…defining that “more” you keep wanting but can’t figure out.

I remember that feeling well also…I remember telling a good friend I knew there was more for me…that there was more to life than routine and retirement…but I didn’t know WHAT.

I want to help you if this is you. That is the major motivation behind the book. To help you create an awesome life that knows what the more is and has a plan to go get it.

Buy the book, join my Art of Living Dangerously Facebook group and find your more.

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

I’M SO OVER…EVERYONE…

My inner bitch goes on a rampage sometimes, and it’s kinda fun. Seriously, if you could hear my inner dialogue at times, you would seriously wonder if I even like people.

 

The answer is sometimes.

 

But sometimes, I am so over everyone…I just can’t.

 

I can’t listen to one more story of learned helplessness.

 

I can’t deal with one more poor me my Mercedes is dirty rant.

 

I can’t watch one more beneficiary of privilege bemoaning the state of the world while sipping a double non-fat, no whip pumpkin spice whatever. (And I don’t even get the whole pumpkin spice fascination, I mean I love pumpkin but for reals with the obsession??)

 

And I can’t deal with fall lovers and pumpkins on front porches in mid-September (dude, it’s 95 degrees, that shit is going to rot!).

 

Yes, this all goes through my head.

 

We all have these moments, or days, or even weeks.  And I think it’s okay.  It’s okay to be cynical and snarky and indulge your inner bitch (even if you are a dude) from time to time.

 

You are human, it’s okay.  You aren’t any less spiritual than anyone else.  You aren’t an uncaring person and you don’t have to beat yourself up for years and days and go see a spiritual guru to heal you.  You need to admit you are human.

 

Now, if this way of thinking begins to dominate you, begins to be your decision maker and makes you intolerant of people, situations and ideas around you on a large scale you might need to seek help.  You might need to get some perspective from a healer, coach or a therapist.  Sometimes, we just get some wires crossed in our lives and need a little help uncrossing them.

 

I am a healer and a coach.  I work with people sometimes who have created this trap for themselves – the I am so over everyone mindset that has taken root. I usually use a combination of healing and coaching to unburden the mind, body and soul from whatever has taken root there and let the person see with fresh eyes and enable the resilience within them to make the shift into the optimal life they are capable of living. In many cases, this is the first step in coaching with someone – to free them from their own cage.

 

Which are you?  In a moment of snark and indulging your inner bitch, or in need of fresh perspective and ways to break free of the cage you constructed around yourself?

 

Apply for a Lackluster to Limitless Session with me if you find yourself in the cage – I can help you jailbreak!

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

Are you Acting Like you Want what You Want?

You walking around saying you want stuff and not actually acting to get it?

That’s pure silliness.

We see this a lot and it seems normal: many walk around wishing and wanting and aspiring…then not doing anything at all.

Society tells us to be normal, toe the line and be a part of what everyone else is doing. We do it…because well, that seems like the thing to do. Doing anything different would be weird – just ask everyone.

It takes some balls to stand up and say, “I will create what I want to create even though it is different!”

It takes more balls to act on it.

Top 5 things to adopt right now to start acting like you want what you want:

  1. Start saying I will instead of I want and see how your intent and phrasing changes.
  2. Start scheduling and allocating energy to the things you put on the ‘will do’ list.
  3. Release your attachment to fitting in: visualize your ideal state of being and accept one element at a time from that vision. Then act on your acceptance by doing it.
  4. Ask yourself why you are doing something you don’t love? Then ask what action you can take to replace it with something you love. Then do it.
  5. Love yourself enough to be your authentic, kickass self.

This isn’t rocket science – intellectually I know you understood this deep inside.  Emotionally though, we crave that acceptance of seeming “normal”. Let it go, no one is truly normal…we are all in some way different, we just squish it below the glaze of normality.

I’m done squishing stuff under that glaze. I’m done doing stuff because everyone else is or thinks I should.  As a result, I am MUCH happier, healthier and in love with me and my life.

You can create your own path, forge your own way and live a super awesome amazing life.  Start accepting that and be truly you.

Act like you want what you want and you will get it.

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru