I should, I should, I should!

I should I should I should

If you had to count, how many times a day do you think you burden yourself with this phrase?

I should can carry some heavy consequences with its energy when you misuse it.  When you use it as reason to do something even when you don’t want to, don’t need to and it doesn’t fulfill you or those you care about in any way. But people expect it, so you do it. Because you should.

The ruler of should metaphor applies here: the ruler you carry around, never measuring up to, of all the things you should be doing, thinking, or feeling.

And every time you look at the ruler to see how you are measuring up – the ruler gets a little taller, or you get a little smaller and you never quite make it to the mark that others have drawn for you.

There is always a more out there.  Though, intuitively you know that more isn’t anywhere on that ruler…you keep looking.

And you feel like you never measure up.

What if you were free of the ruler and free to focus on all the fucks you WANT to be giving about the things you want, need and which provide a sense of fulfillment?

Should (used in the way of measuring) dictates to you.  When you are free to focus, you GAF where you want to GAF – no longer subjugated to anyone else’s should.

THIS IS WHY I DEVELOPED MY 5 DAY CHALLENGE KICKING OFF 23 OCTOBER: FREE TO FOCUS (ON THE F#$KS YOU WANT TO GIVE)

  • To free you from should
  • To release you from the doing, thinking and feeling you should be doing to the doing, thinking and feeling you ne dot be doing to create an awesome life
  • To indulge that craving for more you feel but haven’t been able to answer because you are so distracted by should

BE FREE, FREE TO FOCUS, ON THE THINGS YOU TRULY CARE ABOUT.

Sign up here to receive 5 days worth of emails and videos, get your invite to join the Facebook group to become eligible for challenge prizes and shift your focus into a more authentic you.

Join the FREE TO FOCUS 5 DAY CHALLENGE HERE

BEGIN FOCUSING ON WHAT YOU WANT TO GAF ABOUT

 

WHAT DO YOU GAF ABOUT?

WARNING: I am going to say the F word in this email.  If this offends you, please stop reading.  We are probably not compatible at this point. I appreciate you, who are you are and your boundaries – stay strong with them.  Me, I say the F word and I am cool with it.

WHAT DO YOU GAF ABOUT?

Super popular term these days right?  What do you give a f#$k about?

My partner has a t-shirt from our local co-op that says Local AF set against a picture of the state we live in.  Not our home state, but the state we live in.  It symbolizes where we get our food from.  Because, we GAF about our food.

We toss this phrase around a lot lately…and like so many, it has become diluted.  Because to truly GAF about something is significant.

I mean we only have space for so many fucks to be given in our world before the fucks we give become too many.

HOW MANY THINGS IN YOUR WORLD ARE YOU GIVING A FUCK ABOUT THAT YOU NEED TO STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT?

Where do you really need to and want to invest your fucks?

I recently read “The life changing magic of not giving a f*ck” by Sarah Knight and loved every word. Totally recommend you read it.  Her approach is similar to what I developed in aligning priorities – the tool I crated to help people focus on what matters most to them in creating life they love.

It is similar in that the focus is on doing what you want to do, not what you think you should do.  There is a HUGE difference in doing what you want to do over what you think you should do when it comes to energy investment aka fuck investment.

I particularly love the idea of a fuck budget:  setting up a number you have to give and when they are all gone…sorry fellas, no fucks here.

Love that.

I sped through the book, eating up the words and concepts and it felt instantly at home in my psyche.  In part because I already philosophically aligned 100% and in part because I needed to read it in that way to go even deeper with the energy.  Maybe you do too: get your copy here from amazon, or check your local library.

MORE SIGNIFICANTLY, IT INSPIRED THE UPCOMING FREE CHALLENGE I AM OFFERING IN MY ART OF LIVING DANGEROUSLY FACEBOOK COMMUNITY: 

Free to Focus (on the f#$ you WANT to give). It kicks off 23 October and is 5 days of sorting through your fucks and where you want to allocate and invest in them, thereby bringing your focus to the stuff you truly care about!

Each day will have a theme and those that post daily will be entered to win fabulous prizes!

Signing on via the link below will provide you exclusive access to the video and email series that goes even deeper in to each of the topics for the challenge (and it serves as week 1 of the Motivated for More 13-week EOY/BOY program that helps to finish on top and start even higher as we transition years)

READY TO JOIN? CLICK HERE TO GO ALL IN  ON THE CHALLENGE!

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at www.nolimitslife.guru

 

FALL INTO SOMETHING GOOD

Does your career leave you feeling like you fell into a vat of poo?

Is every day like swimming with concrete floaties?

Do you dread the day to tasks of being where you are?

You are not alone.

I was you once upon a time.

I blamed the dissatisfaction I felt in so many areas on the dissatisfaction I felt at work. I knew if I could find happiness at work, I’d be happier overall.

Research proves this: when you have a higher sense of career well being you feel a higher overall sense of well being.

Cool. How do you get it?

1. You fall into something good.

Instead of constantly bitching about how shitty your circumstance is, find the good. There is some small sense of goodness there. Maybe it is simply that the paycheck meets yours needs. That is good. Find the good to fall into every day and you will attract more good.

2. You act with good intention

You take action that are good for you. You eat right, you declutter, you drink water, you surround yourself with good high vibe people. You take action that you know is positive energy for you.

3. You get creative.

You look for the things you can shape to your style and you do it. The activities, events and processes that are tailorable, you tailor in such a way that you can find positive energy in them. This might mean a mindset shift, or a physical overhaul – or anywhere in between.

These three things have infinite numbers of outcomes ranging from finding a higher degree of satisfaction where you are or striking the entrepreneurial path. Wherever your energy takes you, falling in love with your career and satisfying that sense of “more” you have been craving is important for your overall well-being.

What are you going to fall into?

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 amI am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

Looking for More?

It is literally just sinking in…

I wrote a fucking book.

And published it.

I seriously did.

It’s crazy and insane to realize a dream.

It feels soooo right and soooooo weird all at the same time.

But that is what it is like when you do something you have been dreaming about for a long ass time.

I felt this way when:

I graduated college
Both times I got married (and divorced)
When I got my MBA
At my military commissioning
I traveled overseas for the first time
My first kiss (and sex)
I got promoted for the first time
I opened my own business
Received my coaching certification
Began teaching at the college level
Got accepted to my doctoral program

And on and on….

You probably have a list too.

Is everything you dream of on the already did it side?

gawd I hope not.

But there are a few things right?

We can put more on that side and take them off the wish I could side

To include…defining that “more” you keep wanting but can’t figure out.

I remember that feeling well also…I remember telling a good friend I knew there was more for me…that there was more to life than routine and retirement…but I didn’t know WHAT.

I want to help you if this is you. That is the major motivation behind the book. To help you create an awesome life that knows what the more is and has a plan to go get it.

Buy the book, join my Art of Living Dangerously Facebook group and find your more.

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

I’M SO OVER…EVERYONE…

My inner bitch goes on a rampage sometimes, and it’s kinda fun. Seriously, if you could hear my inner dialogue at times, you would seriously wonder if I even like people.

 

The answer is sometimes.

 

But sometimes, I am so over everyone…I just can’t.

 

I can’t listen to one more story of learned helplessness.

 

I can’t deal with one more poor me my Mercedes is dirty rant.

 

I can’t watch one more beneficiary of privilege bemoaning the state of the world while sipping a double non-fat, no whip pumpkin spice whatever. (And I don’t even get the whole pumpkin spice fascination, I mean I love pumpkin but for reals with the obsession??)

 

And I can’t deal with fall lovers and pumpkins on front porches in mid-September (dude, it’s 95 degrees, that shit is going to rot!).

 

Yes, this all goes through my head.

 

We all have these moments, or days, or even weeks.  And I think it’s okay.  It’s okay to be cynical and snarky and indulge your inner bitch (even if you are a dude) from time to time.

 

You are human, it’s okay.  You aren’t any less spiritual than anyone else.  You aren’t an uncaring person and you don’t have to beat yourself up for years and days and go see a spiritual guru to heal you.  You need to admit you are human.

 

Now, if this way of thinking begins to dominate you, begins to be your decision maker and makes you intolerant of people, situations and ideas around you on a large scale you might need to seek help.  You might need to get some perspective from a healer, coach or a therapist.  Sometimes, we just get some wires crossed in our lives and need a little help uncrossing them.

 

I am a healer and a coach.  I work with people sometimes who have created this trap for themselves – the I am so over everyone mindset that has taken root. I usually use a combination of healing and coaching to unburden the mind, body and soul from whatever has taken root there and let the person see with fresh eyes and enable the resilience within them to make the shift into the optimal life they are capable of living. In many cases, this is the first step in coaching with someone – to free them from their own cage.

 

Which are you?  In a moment of snark and indulging your inner bitch, or in need of fresh perspective and ways to break free of the cage you constructed around yourself?

 

Apply for a Lackluster to Limitless Session with me if you find yourself in the cage – I can help you jailbreak!

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

Are you Acting Like you Want what You Want?

You walking around saying you want stuff and not actually acting to get it?

That’s pure silliness.

We see this a lot and it seems normal: many walk around wishing and wanting and aspiring…then not doing anything at all.

Society tells us to be normal, toe the line and be a part of what everyone else is doing. We do it…because well, that seems like the thing to do. Doing anything different would be weird – just ask everyone.

It takes some balls to stand up and say, “I will create what I want to create even though it is different!”

It takes more balls to act on it.

Top 5 things to adopt right now to start acting like you want what you want:

  1. Start saying I will instead of I want and see how your intent and phrasing changes.
  2. Start scheduling and allocating energy to the things you put on the ‘will do’ list.
  3. Release your attachment to fitting in: visualize your ideal state of being and accept one element at a time from that vision. Then act on your acceptance by doing it.
  4. Ask yourself why you are doing something you don’t love? Then ask what action you can take to replace it with something you love. Then do it.
  5. Love yourself enough to be your authentic, kickass self.

This isn’t rocket science – intellectually I know you understood this deep inside.  Emotionally though, we crave that acceptance of seeming “normal”. Let it go, no one is truly normal…we are all in some way different, we just squish it below the glaze of normality.

I’m done squishing stuff under that glaze. I’m done doing stuff because everyone else is or thinks I should.  As a result, I am MUCH happier, healthier and in love with me and my life.

You can create your own path, forge your own way and live a super awesome amazing life.  Start accepting that and be truly you.

Act like you want what you want and you will get it.

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

 

What Are you Waiting For?

Isn’t it about time to act on that idea in your head?

It’s been begging for your attention for a while now.  You have been ignoring it.

It has been screaming in your ear to listen and do.  You have been swatting it away like an annoying fly.

The urgency is building, it’s time to act.

All this pent-up energy needs direction.  You need to funnel into productive action, not just a flurry of busy, chaotic movement.

Here is where to start:

  1. Capture your idea – all it’s parts and pieces and glorious color.  Capture it on paper somehow – write it, draw it, type it up.
  2. Talk it over with someone – add whatever you talk about to your picture or writing. Note what questions arise and obstacles that pop up.
  3. Decide which action you can take now – answer a question, make a path around an obstacle, find a fresh set of eyes for perspective, get coaching, find a mentor, get training…whatever it is that you can act on immediate to move forward. It builds the momentum and energy for your idea.
  4. Act. Duh
  5. Refine and determine the next action.

Pretty common sense right?

If you haven’t done it yet, then clearly it wasn’t common sense to you.  So stop arguing– get on it!

We can all use a little support as we do this, so jump on over to Facebook and join the Art of Living Dangerously Facebook Group where we address action oriented Lifestyle Creation on a daily basis!

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 amI am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master,  Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10 year old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

 

 

Break Away From the Group

Yesterday I took my son to Maquoketa Caves State Park. It is what it sounds like: caves in a park. And it’s awesome.
 
While there we saw a lot of things I could write about which promote conformity and crush, absolutely crush freedom. I could be disheartened by a few of the things I saw, instead let’s reflect.
 
A daycare group was there at the same time. The canyon rang with not the sounds of nature, but the sounds of daycare providers wrangling their charges.
 
“Don’t climb on that”
“Stay on the path”
“be quiet” (what?)
“Not so fast”
 
and my favorite “You’ll get dirty, stop that.”
 
Strip away the safety concerns. I get those and as a mom whose kid has been in daycare, appreciate them.
 
Children + Park = so much experience to be had.
 
Yet time and again they were reigned in, curiosity squashed, interaction terminated and opportunity to immerse in what their bodies and souls were craving crushed.
 
Meanwhile, my same aged son is terrifying me with his daredevil perches on out-croppings. We engage fully with wet muddy shoes and body and sprints down trails to the next adventure.
 
We played hop rock in the creek at one point and came across a fawn serenely grazing 6 feet from us. We watched in wonder for about 20 minutes outlasting any group that joined us during that time.
 
Several times we found ourselves alone in a cave or on a trail simply being as we felt and tuned in to the amazing earth and water energy surrounding us.
 
I have no interest in curbing enthusiasm. I have zero energy for “stay in line” outside of a real safety concern.
 
What those kids experienced yesterday happens every day to all ages: the idea that you have to stay with the group and do what the group is doing and don’t dare to explore your own path – it’s dangerous and you may do something the rest of the group isn’t ready for.
 
But maybe you are ready to do something dangerous.
 
If it’s time to unleash your inner warrior and get dangerous,
I have something for you.
 
It’s the five week warrior club. Info session is Sunday at 5pm. I’ll share the 5 key tenets of freedom as I teach them and gift you a guide and video series as part of the webinar.
 
I’ll also tell you about the club and how it could impact you and your quest for freedom.
 
Don’t be those kids all grown up and your daycare provider simultaneously. Stop telling yourself to stay in line and stop allowing others to tell you that. Start being dangerous: be you.
 
Interested? register here: http://eepurl.com/cZbvZL
photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created.

My background is 10 years in the US Army as an officer, 10 years in Corporate America and then the last 6 running my own business. I have deployed twice in combat scenarios, worked with foreign governments and militaries and worked extensively in international business.  I have an undergraduate in Criminology, an MBA and certification in Positive Psychology. I have led organizations from 3-400 and love developing people and helping them create their next steps in life and work. 

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well we a working glass artist, Reiki Master,  Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10 year old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. 

How Self Coaching Works

Warning: I use the F word in this post.  If that offends you…either ignore it or quit reading now.

I’m going to give you a peek at what self-coaching looks like.  My goal is that every client I work with can employ this after working with me as the first line of offense when their optimal life is threatened.

Here is me, right now:

Some days fucking suck.

That’s not really what I mean.

What I mean is there are days I must look a whole hell of a lot harder for the upside than others.  I always find it because I want to.  I really want to believe in the best aspects of this world we live in.  I think it’s possible we live in a world where people can be super chill and respect each other and act on their beliefs.

I see a fuckton (yes it’s a word) of bullshit around me.  And through that lens of optimism I choose how I handle my engagement with that.

Received some crap from my kid’s soccer club yesterday that really set me off.  The background is that my son chose to screw around for the last year or so and not engage at his very best in his sport of choice.   Simultaneously, the club decided to institute an “A” and “B” team philosophy for the U11 age group.

I’m all in on competition.  Seriously – give me a challenge and I will prove how ridiculous your skepticism at my abilities is. I was less than thrilled at the prospect of my son at 10 being potentially told he wasn’t good enough for the A team.  We talked mental strategy and physical commitment and he went for it.  He was assigned to the B team.

Devastation. Tears. Confusion.  Questioning.

And he was pretty upset too.

Through his tears he asked me what he did wrong.  How the fuck am I supposed to answer that?

We connected with his coach who had some encouraging and constructive words for him and we developed a mindset strategy for moving past this.  We also talked application of that strategy in a series of upcoming practices, a tournament he was participating in and the multiple soccer camps he requested for this summer.

(I am currently selling body parts to finance all of this. Anyone need a pinky finger?)

He played.  He played like I haven’t seen him play in a while. His fire was back. Go figure…my kid needed a challenge to get him fired up and re-engaged.  He had been bored. I get that and I can work with it.

I’m feeling good about all of this.

Then yesterday I get the rosters for the teams for the fall in his age group.  His team doesn’t have a full roster and doesn’t even have enough to field a team.  Exactly how is this supposed to work?  Parents are jumping to conclusions all over the place.  I am sitting back and choosing my engagement.  Parents are now cancelling their commitments.  They are pulling their kids.

Holy cow.

Should I?  Nope, not my way. I don’t do things simply because others are.

I wait to see how the club director will respond.  I am disappointed.  There is no plan shared.  In fact, we are told that the rosters were created without a plan.  That they are working on one after their break and will share it at the parent meeting in 2.5 weeks.

Not good enough.  Not good enough by even a little bit.

What now?  How do I coach myself through this?  Well, I start with looking at what is true here:

  1. My kid earned the spot.
  2. The club director doesn’t have a plan, though he promises one.
  3. My kid loves, loves this sport. He committed to growing through this situation.

The values I am using to filter this:

  • Authenticity
  • Honesty
  • Commitment
  • Passion
  • Freedom
  • Transformation
  • Growth
  • Professionalism

What skeptical, cynical me thinks:

This is complete bullshit, find a new club.

This lack of communication means there was no plan and now they’ve been caught so they are scrambling.

What you allow will continue.

Intuitive me says:

He will thrive in a new environment

Yes, he earned that spot, but he also deserves more from himself and from his support system.

Questions still lingering:

What would a move to a new club (assuming I can find a roster spot) do for him – what message would it send?

Will the plan be good enough?

Actions I will take:

  1. Be direct with my response to the club director. I expect more. He needs to know that.
  2. Investigate other options for him to play if the plan isn’t satisfactory.
  3. Discuss with his father.
  4. Consult with his coach.
  5. Love and support him no matter what.

If you have a near term threat to your optimal lifestyle, take it through those analysis steps (the ones in bold).  Consider what actions you need to take to resolve it. These threats aren’t always immediately contained.  Sometimes they take a bit of work.  Working through them using your authentic, best self is way better than just reacting. 

Coach yourself.  And if coaching yourself doesn’t work, get a coach. And hey…I’m a coach, you could apply for a lackluster to limitless session with me and we’d see if it’s a good fit by working through what’s on your near-term threat list.

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created.

My background is 10 years in the US Army as an officer, 10 years in Corporate America and then the last 6 running my own business. I have deployed twice in combat scenarios, worked with foreign governments and military and worked extensively in international business.  I have an undergraduate in Criminology, an MBA and certification in Positive Psychology. I have led organizations from 3-400 and love developing people and helping them create their next steps in life and work. 

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well we a working glass artist, Reiki Master,  Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10 year old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. 

 

 

 

 

When I Grow Up….

By age 30 I had ended one career and started another and still didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I thought success was finding a career path that provided relatively good income and room to move up – one already laid out with simple steps to move through – like a board game. I was discovering life hadn’t laid those steps out as neatly as I thought and it didn’t feel as successful as I thought it would.

Up until age 30, things had been appearing and I had been saying yes to them – somewhat blindly.  In 1992 I went to college because it was the next natural step to living a prosperous life.  In 1995, the US Army ROTC office at CSU Fresno called and offered me a full scholarship to complete my education and I said yes – with little thought.  I commissioned active duty and went off to be an Army officer.  I didn’t have a grand plan on what that would look like, but turned out to be pretty good at it.  I consistently did well and got great assignments as a result.

When I decided to leave, it was because I was getting the first rumblings from within: life was more than just a job.  I wanted a lifestyle different than the Army was providing.  In a bid to retain me, I was offered the opportunity to work with the most elite support command in the Army…still I had to go. The voice within was getting louder.

I went to a job fair and accepted a job in the Midwest with a utility company.  I joke that I accepted it in a fever induced haze – the product of contracting bronchitis while on a whirlwind interview tour across the US and being unable to go to any additional interviews.  My dogs and I moved to Iowa in February 2004 and I soon wondered when I’d be leaving.

It turned out it was here I’d settle on what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I’d discover life didn’t have to keep happening to me, I could create my life. I could develop a vision for the future and put it into action one step at a time.  Others were out walking their paths, sometimes lined up single file one after the other doing the same thing.  But me, I wanted to forge my way through on my own path.

I had this same mentality as a kid: I grew up in the Sierra Nevada Mountains.  My backyard was literally the Sierra National Forest.  One of my favorite things was to follow a trail for a bit, then strike out on my own – see what might be just beyond sight from the established path.  I often trekked up and down the creek behind our house finding new ways to get to different vantage points and finding fresh perspective.

This mindset came back to me as I began to question the path I was following others on after the birth of my son.  In 2007 he arrived 3 months prematurely and I was gifted time as I cared for him while he finished his development in the incubator in the NICU. I had time to consider my life.

I realized I needed a new vantage.  I needed to explore some alternate paths.  I needed fresh perspective on who I was and what I was doing.

I took some courses.  I read some new books.  I dabbled in different things.

For too long. I got seriously restless.

Then I got serious.  I hired a coach.

Hiring a coach gave me the path to clarity, accountability and commitment.  It also confirmed, yes, my life is more than my job.  I am here to live a full, rich, passion filled life and the routine to retirement gig wasn’t cutting it.

Are you asking, “what do I want to do with my life?” and taking free course or download after free course or download and not finding answers? A coach may be your answer.

If you are signing on for e-courses and not finishing them – you aren’t alone. I recently read upwards of 97% of people don’t finish them. (that fact isn’t verified, but I could see how it can be true).

Are you bored with life, or busy with bullshit?  Are you doing things that kinda suck? Are you doing them out of some sort of obligation anyway? You may need support to say yes to things that rock.

Hiring a coach gave me the courage to confront what I was really looking for in life and the confidence to take some action toward it. Now, 7 years later, I still have a coach.  My coaches have changed focus and people over the years, but I will always value coaching support and perspective.

If you know you are capable of more but feel restricted by external forces, a coach can help you develop the skills, attitudes and behaviors you need to free yourself.

And hey, I am a coach.  I might be able to help you like I have helped many others find the freedom they want – the freedom to be and live the way that really crave. It’d be super cool to have a conversation with you and see if it’s a good fit for where you are and what you want in life.

At a minimum, I can point you to some near-term actions and resources to find freedom if coaching with me isn’t right for you now – no worries.  I have told lots of coaches no along the way, it’s cool.

Your Challenge Now:

In your journal complete this sentence: When I Grow Up….

Then,  apply for a lackluster to limitless energizer session with me – let’s see if it’s a good fit for your initial foray into freedom.

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master,  Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10 year old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems.  email me at jennifer@nolimitslife.guru and share your story.