The Devil Card 

This morning, I pulled some tarot cards.  I have a lot of cross roads jumping up before me, opportunities, good stuff and things to weigh.  It’s pretty awesome, but when you find yourself in the middle of these ideas, you can start to feel like that child that got spun around and then told to sprint across the field.  

As I asked the question, “where am I right now as I start this new month?”  The very first card I pulled was The Devil.  

YIKES! Right?  

Maybe.  

In this case, the devil represents for me all those tendencies I could give into as chaos swirls around.  I could pull down all of these opportunities on my head and sabotage the shit out of them.  I could get scared and run away and I could destroy some stuff with self-centeredness, ego, greed or old ideas.  Or I could remember that I have been here before, I have had experiences that taught me and I can apply that learning.  

I am grateful for that reminder.  

The truth is, the decisions I have before could truly alter the way I live my life right now and I am excited about them.  I owe it to my highest self to be aware of the primal urges within and to take note, honor them and direct them in the way of most power for good.  I am not sure what will come to fruition and how I will feel as it does.  But I am doing all I can to be centered and aware as I expereince them. 

FOR YOU: 

Consider where you are right now and what you are experiencing.  Have you gone outside yourself for perspective?  Have you done any reflecting beyond the workings of your mind?  Are you fully awake and present and living in the moment that you experiencing now?  How about now?  

A few ways you can get some perspective for the time you are in now: 

1.  A divination tool such as tarot, stones, oracle cards, animal totems, pendulums or your favorite. 

2.  A trusted wise soul who you can count on to give it to you straight. 

3.  Journaling – my favorite tool – the reflection of your own words back to you! 

Try one and see if you are missing something.  And as always, I and my team am here if you need that perspective, just grab a free discovery session with us and we are happy to partner with you to find perspective! Schedule here or visit http://www.nolimtislife.guru to explore more.  
Jennifer Murphy is a life coach, help captive in Cedar Rapids, but willing to stay because her son anchors her in place and he is so totally worth it!  An expert in helping people across the globe prioritize their values and create a life centered on what they value most, allowing them to shed stress, overwhelm and the BS that can suck the soul from our daily lives.  Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru 

So Over “New Year, New You”

Seriously, screw it.  Why do you need to be a new you?

If you feel the compulsion to be different, maybe it’s because you aren’t being the REAL you right now.  Ouch.

Every single time I hear a phrase like that – which admittedly I haven’t heard as much as we close out 2016 – I want to puke.  There is nothing wrong with the REAL YOU.  The problem may be that you aren’t being the REAL YOU.  Okay, I will stop capitalizing it – you don’t need to be yelled at anymore…you heard me right?

The Real You is that energy within that is absolutely BEGGING to be let out to play.  It is the energy that craves something different that what you are doing with your life.  This energy wants to: 

  • start a business
  • go back to school
  • create art
  • write
  • find a true partner
  • love waking up for their life every day
  • shed the feeling of overwhelm every single day as they race around trying to please everyone but themselves
  • go on a spiritual retreat
  • connect with an animal
  • and on and on….

What is your spirit calling you to explore? 

As I shake off the stifling energies of the past time period I feel called to be the wild, sensuous, adventurous woman I truly am.  I feel called to stop hiding, to get exposed and to be unrepentant in my call to arms to the battle for the life you deserve, not the one you are subjugated into living.   My REAL ME (this is a passion yell) is a warrior, adventure and explorer.  I advocate when you are unsure of how to do it yourself.  And I teach you how.

This amazing TED video a friend shared last night on Facebook called to these energies within – it is a bit graphic at times, so I will warn those of you with more delicate constitutions.

You don’t have to be me, and your call isn’t the same.  But you have one.

If your life feels like pants one size too small then chances are you are not being Real You.

I beg you to invite Real You out to play tonight, tomorrow and all the days that follow.  

I recognize this isn’t easy.  If it were easy you’d have never succumbed to expectations in the first place.  YOU are worth the battle, the investment, the shift – whatever you want to call it.   

Your Challenge: 

Grab your journal and spend some time writing about your absolute ideal life – free of any limitations you feel in  your current life.  Write until you feel that buzz of anticipation, like you can’t wait to taste it.

Review what you wrote, make additions.

Pick one thing from that vision and do it now.  Bring it into your life.  One tiny thing.

dfcaxbf-p4g-morre-christopheThis might feel scary – when I did this, I was terrified because what I wanted was so incredibly different than what I had, I could hardly imagine how it was possible.  But I started with the purchase of white sheets and within 24 months my life was my ideal and then I got to keep stretching myself.

Find your white sheets. Invite them into your world, then the next thing and keep taking action to build the life you crave.

REAL YOU will thank you.  

 

 

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

That Funny Feeling of Change…Again

Bubbling under the surface is this nervous tension colliding with the sense of all is right with the world.  How can they both possibly be right?

I wonder this as I observe change happening for me, and for the first time in my life not being clear on what it is.

When I got sober back in 2003, I knew huge change was coming for me.  I was engaged, deployed to the Middle East with the US Army and convinced I’d never have any fun ever again if I didn’t drink.  I made a huge list of all the things I’d never be able to do again without alcohol as my companion.

I have done all of those things, left that engagement, survived emotionally and physically that deployment and though it all, I was aware of the shifts happening.

In 2010 I made my first connection with a life coach – my first official coach. I did it not only aware that change was happening, but very clear once more on the type of change I wanted: a different career.  What I got was a completely different life that I fall in love with all over again every single day.

In 2012-2013  I left my corporate job, opened my third business, started my only child in kindergarten, divorced from my husband, saw my brothers safe return to his wife and daughter from deployment to Iraq, sold multiple properties and completely changed my lifestyle.  I went from making 6 figures to 3 and felt wealthier than ever.

Since then small changes have occurred: I discovered a passion for glass art and began creating, I started teaching in a college certificate course and realized how much I love teaching, I assumed financial responsibility for my grandmother’s  affairs, rolled with business and personal financial ups and downs, sold a business, started another business, found a personal relationship that I value more than I ever thought possible and have a shared vision for the future that is so amazing I am stunned when daily action draws us closer to it.

So now, I stand on the unsteady grounds of change and have no idea what they are made of. After such clarity of direction in prior change phases I am wondering at the universe’s motives in keeping me in the dark.  What is lurking in those shadows as I walk forward?  It feels right, but with every step I wonder if the squishy floor will collapse and leave me floundering in chocolate pudding or horse shit.

Dealing with the uncertainty of this change requires faith.  “How do you get faith? How do you trust?” I have been asked over and over again.  Well, I am not sure how it will work for you, but this is what I have done:

Trust the ever loving shit out of an energy way fucking bigger than I am and way fucking bigger than I can conceive of.  It’s the shit, it is the grand master daddy mama of allllll things we are here to do and who am I to second guess it?

Let me elaborate on that a bit for those that need a more constructed process, here is what I have come to understand for me:

  1. I am a spiritual entity in physical creation – I believe that. I believe that I am connected to the spirit of the universe.
  2. The spirit of the universe is infinite, I am finite in physical form, the spirit of the universe has no physical form except me (and yes, you too!), and therefore I am connected to the infinite.
  3. I watch for the connections between my actions, my thoughts, my beliefs and the impacts on those around me. I see.
  4. I trust that infinite energy to be a lot smarter than me.
  5. I ask for the right thought or action and I take it when it arrives.

A little example:  When I was leaving the military, I didn’t have a special connection to anywhere at the time.  I was single, two dogs and needed a place to connect.  I had interviews lined up in 4 different states.

On my first interview for my last location choice, I got so sick I couldn’t continue on with my interviews in the next 3 states.  I had opened up my energies and said “Okay universe, where do you want to send me? I’ll go where you need me.”  And it answered “Iowa”.  Trust me, I had doubts, a strong desire to fight the direction and find another way.  But I decided to have faith and go for it.

That was 13 years ago.

So here was are again, “ok universe, where do you want me to go?  What do you want me to do?”  I’ll trust and move forward on faith. 

How do you Define Living Dangerously?

 Take a moment and consider what feels most dangerous to you: is it physical, spiritual, intellectual or emotional in nature?

Conventional wisdom would suggest all kinds of radical options.  As I have asked this question in workshops and discussions I have heard a few!   Things like:

skydiving

motorcycle racing

speaking in public

falling in love

climbing a mountain

swimming with sharks

parenting (that got a good giggle)

 

There were a ton of other physical risks that have come up in response to this question.  And yes, these things are risky…but if you notice, most people head right for the physical risks with the exception of falling in love.

These are easy answers – pick something with the potential to inflict bodily harm and we can all agree that it is dangerous.   Right?

Yes.

There is another way to think about it though and that is what I want to focus on.

The Art of Living Dangerously creates the path to you skydiving, moto title winning or swimming with sharks. This path fires your emotional, intellectual and spiritual body – more than your physical.   What if we think about living dangerously in these terms:

  • Being afraid and doing it anyway
  • Knowing there is more and going for it
  • Trying new things – taking the leap
  • Seeing new perspectives
  • Experiencing instead of Existing
  • Living by your values
  • Never settling
  • Transcending expectations
  • Having faith in limitless possibilities

Imagine you lived in opposition to any of those thoughts…let’s take “Having faith in limitless possibilities” first.  What would it mean if you have faith in limitless possibilities?  Consider an area of your life you feel stuck or trapped in, it could be anything from a relationship, a job, a volunteer commitment or a belief.

For example when I was wanting to become a life coach, I was very locked into the idea that I couldn’t leave my 6 figure job and the obligations it had created or my life would fall apart.  There were a lot of trapped and stuck attachments there:

  1. I had accumulated debt directly correlated to the amount of money I had: cars, houses, lines of credit, etc.
  2. I did enjoy my job and did well at it. I loved the people I worked with and generally enjoyed seeing them.  Yet I didn’t feel inspired by my job, I didn’t see how my role was really serving others in the way I wanted to.
  3. I had an idea of what people expected me to be and I was fearful of disappointing them.
  4. My family had become accustomed to my salary, my schedule and my life the way it impacted them; and I couldn’t let them be affected by my desires – they needed to always take first priority.

When my life coach suggested that it was possible for me to create the life I wanted if I dedicated myself to figuring out what it was, I resisted at first.  I was so focused on the narrow range of options I had decided were available that it was a good year of coaching with her before I was able to really open up to all of the things that could be if I allowed them into my life.

I had to do a few things to move past my self-created opposition to possibilities:

  1. I had to decide what an ideal day for me would look like.
  2. Sorting out what was important and what wasn’t to me then taking action to get free of what wasn’t.
  3. Realign my time to support what I wanted instead of what I felt like I “should be” doing.
  4. Starting to create that Ideal by pulling elements from it into the life I was living then.

On a daily basis I would ask myself “is this getting me closer or farther away from the life I truly want?” as I encountered challenges and opportunities.

I learned that not everything is worth the fight.

Over the next few weeks I will be tackling each of those Living Dangerously ideas as I prepare for my 2016 Art of Living Dangerously Creation Experience here in Cedar Rapids Iowa on September 9th and 10th.  You can take a look at the agenda here and then grab early bird registration before August 15th.

I hope you’ll stay tuned to this blog and follow the steps to both the idea of living dangerously and the way I overcame my opposition to it!

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

The Interview by Don Marlette

What would the conversation consist of if the you you want to be interviewed the you were were or are right now?

I am a HUGE advocate for making choices and never looking back.  Much like driving down the road, the minute we start to look into the past, we often start to drive in circles and eventually crash.  My motto has become that of the 19th-century monk, Boniface Wimmer:  “Forward, forward.  Always forward!”

 I also believe that where you are now is always at the perfect time.  Every choice, decision and consequence we experience in life create a blend of experiences and attitudes, with their share of challenges to make us perfectly suitable to life at the present moment.  Even the work we feel an inner pull to follow in later life only makes sense with the bumps and bruises of our earlier self.

 With all that said, I am going to look back at my younger self, and pose some questions – complete with their answers from the less-experienced me.  What would it be like for me to coach my younger self?

 My history is rather involved, so here is a quick description to get you up to speed.  I became Catholic in high school, went off to college seminary then joined a monastery for four years.  I was sent to complete my Master’s degree, and then I left monastic life just before ordination.  After leaving the monastery, I chose to work as a full-time parish worship and music director.  At the time of this interview, I’m doing very well.  I’m well-known as a musician and composer, making a high salary, and I’m quite successful.

 May this interview be a teachable moment for me…and for you.

–Start Interview–

New Self:  Are you happy?

 Old Self:  Honestly, no way.  I dread coming into work each day.  This work has become an albatross on my back for years, stemming from when I started doing it.  You know, I really didn’t want to do this work to begin with, even though I’m becoming well-known for being good at it!  I just needed a job when I left the monastery, and this seemed like a good fit for what I could do.

I’ve felt nothing but frustration, even anger.  I don’t fit.  I don’t feel supported.  Everyone loves what I’m doing, but I hate it.  I get migraines before every rehearsal, and I rejoice on  the days when I’m sick and can’t come to work!  Quite frankly, I feel very disillusioned in all this, and I want out in the worst way.  The problem is that I feel trapped.  I don’t know what else I could possibly do. So I guess I’ll just keep plugging away, put up with the personalities and politics, and look forward to finally retiring.

 New:  It sounds like things aren’t what everyone thinks they are.  Truthfully, I can feel the frustration in your voice, the choices of your words, and even your hunched body posture.  You honestly don’t seem happy, so it’s good that you can be honest about that.

 You also sound like you’ve condemned yourself to this work out of a sense of entrapment.  You say there isn’t another way out of this.  That you are going to just put up with everything until you retire.  But from my end, I think when you retire, you are going to be one bitter old man!  You’re already there, in case you haven’t noticed.  You do know you’re going to die one day?  Is this how you want to be then?

 Old:  No way!  I’ve thought about that a couple of times.  I know that if I keep doing what I’m doing, I’m going to just get worse and worse, and I’m going to end up at my deathbed, wishing I had done something different.

 New:  Like what?

 Old:  I have no idea!  I just want to do something that gives me joy, that makes me happy, that helps me to spread that happiness to everyone else.  I guess I could entertain people, but that’s a hard life.  And it’s too late for me to go back for another degree and start over, though.  I’m married with two children already, so I can’t make time to do all that.  I can’t afford it.  That’s why I feel so trapped.

 New:  What do you like to do, though?

 Old:  I like to entertain people, like I said.  Of course, I also like to talk with people one on one.  I always liked doing that.  I guess I could say that I really like to help people.  That’s all I do here at the parish office: help the staff people with their own problems and stresses.  I usually know what’s on the mind and heart before they say anything, so it’s easier for me to get to the bottom of things.  They like it, and I feel so much more alive – really alive! – afterwards.  But, like I said, I can’t get another degree so I could do that for a living. 

New:  I noticed how you perked up just now.  Did you?  What’s holding you back from doing it – from helping people for a living?

 Old:  I told you already!  I don’t have the time or money to get another degree.  That’s why I’m still doing this job.  I can do it, and it pulls in the money.  True, I never see my family since I work seven days a week – even on vacation!  But that’s the sacrifice I have to make.  I don’t like it, but it’s all I can do.

 New:  Do you really believe that you can’t break out of this?  I don’t think it’s true.  You’ve got some talents you haven’t owned yet, like….

 Old:  Just stop there.  Those “talents” you’re talking about are wrong around here anyway.  No one will ever accept them.  It’s fine to entertain people with, but that’s it.  It doesn’t feed a family.  I can’t do that.

New:  So you’re just going to stay stuck…by choice?

Old:  I just don’t see any other way.  I’m stuck.  Period.

–End Interview–

 I would love to end this interview on a positive note, but it doesn’t.  I chose at the time to remain stuck, to refuse to think outside the box, to live a life of real misery.

 Living my dreams was not an option.  All that changed later, after a lot more suffering, anxiety and intense frustration.  I waited.

What about you?

Don Marlette is, among many other things, a member of the No Limits Life team.  His unique blend of psychic insight, mediumship and practical wisdom guide spiritual practitioners and everyday people through the perils of everyday getting by to build lives that feel like they are singing their heartsong.  Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

The Art of Living Dangerously Creation Experience

Life on auto-pilot requires very little engagement from you – it’s same day different stuff…

The Art of Living Dangerously means you are the driver, the pilot the one making all the decisions…It’s new day, new experiences, every day.

The Art of Living Dangerously Creation Experience is a full day event in Cedar Rapids Iowa on September 10th with a bonus VIP evening the night prior September 9 (2016).

Here are just a few of things we will do:

Shine a light into the darkest recesses of your consciousness to invite  your true life’s purpose out to play
Mentor you as you create the path to make your purpose much more than a dream and turn it into your reality
Work through mindfulness, meditation and self-awareness exercises to bring you closer to the real you and minimize the impact of the expectations of others in your life
Create an action plan to move you to where you want to be in daily living

You will walk away from this event: 
feeling energized
engaged with your life
in love with your next steps
excited to move into the energy that is really you

Yes, it would be a full day and evening away from family, obligations and more…but you deserve it.  You deserve this time to focus on you, your dreams and take good stock of where you are going and how you will get there.

Here is what that evening and day will look like:

VIP Event September 9, 6-9pm      Main Event: September 10, 10a-4p

VIP Event, held in the No Limits Life Coaching and Glass Studio: Register

6-6:30 – Meet and Greet time, grab refreshments and use the handout provided to meet everyone in the room, find your nest for the evening

6:30-7:00 – Opening meditation and centering with Jennifer Murphy

7:00-8:00 – The No Limits Team Coaches

8:00-9:00 – Face and Erase limits to living the life you crave with Jennifer Murphy

Attendees Receive: A meditation focal object and recorded meditations

 

Main Event, held in the Conference Room, Adam Building: Register

Doors open at 9:30 with morning refreshments

10:00a Opening and Introductions

10:30a Defining Your Callings: 3 paths to identifying what you should be doing with your life

11:30a  Clarifying your Callings:  one on one coaching with peers and professional coaches to help you clarify your calling

12:30p Lunch

1:00p  4 M’s and an S: Mindfulness, Meditation, Manifestation and Self-Awareness

2:30p  The Art of Action: Create a mind mapping style vision board and schedule activities to shape the reality you want.  Coaches will be available for private discussion during this time.

3:30p Closing Exercises: Meditation, Take Away Experiences and Maintenance Recommendations

4:00p The After Workshop discussion

Attendees Receive: Notebook/Workbook

Register for early bird admission thru August 15th

Full admission goes into effect on August 16th

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

 

Aside

The Orange Table Awakening

What is so damn important about an orange table?

My table is bright, gorgeous, outrageous orange…as of last weekend. I have no idea what color this table was when it was born, but it was a poo brown when I bought it at goodwill for five bucks to serve as a holder for my son’s new gold fish murder scene, I mean tank (No need to go into that debacle here).  
Recently I realized keeping that table poo brown was a symbol of continued connection to my old, boring, expected life – the one I did all I could to disembowel back in 2012. I despised seeing that connection in some ways: I was still toeing the “what will other people think” belief system and I truly wanted to gouge that part of me out immediately, never to see it again. But in my moment of sickness and disgust, I had to wonder if maybe some of you freedom seekers are also still toeing that same line in undiscovered ways like me. Maybe you have a “poo brown table” in your life you need to colorize to reveal the real you.

At this point we can safely divide into a few mindsets with respect to this idea:

1. Those of you that are done with this idea as of right now: grasping exactly what I mean because of where you are in your own evolution and you have “evolved enough” to “go it alone” (snicker). You need not one more drop of my nonsense and know it.

2. Others of you are just so over the self-help bullshit that you are sick of finding symbolism in everything and seeing it as a metaphor for the shit you need to shift, change, give up or heal. You are ready to gag on your own consumption of crap that isn’t actually getting to the core of the “more” you are seeking and are looking for something truly different.

3. And some of you want to identify, know you are not alone and discover another layer of your own growth and experience as a human right now. You suspect that perhaps this information will bring about our collective vibrational raising. So you, the truly curious freedom seeker are leaning in with a conspiratorial “tell us more”. And chances are – you know exactly what your personal poo brown table is right this moment.

I am talking to all of you – all you reflections of me, of each other and our varying attitudes based on everything we are. I think if you are REALLY wanting to forge your path, discover what is holding you back and kick the shit out of it, allowing yourself to move into that energy that is truly yours to keep growing in…well, we are one. So let’s keep going and see if we can find our connection in the rest of this story:

For this table, my son is my muse. As he chose colors for his bedroom at his dad’s newly constructed house, he picked some super bright amazingly gorgeous colors: Obstinate Orange, Blue Sky and Sassy Green. With these we created a couple of bold murals in his room to reflect his passion and joy for life.

Mo and Squeak Create Color


Since then, the leftover orange called my name. My most recent move had me craving color in my home – real, bold color for the first time since I left the beige drenched world of the suburbs. A bright green couch had answered the call, a peacock patterned love seat had flown in, my blue console requested a move home from its studio tour, and my bright orange elephant statue was honoring its place as the original color splash in my home.

The poo brown table begged to shine. As I looked at it in the blooming surroundings, I realized the basic browns that had defined my home for so long were being replaced. I was taken back to a shopping trip from times past where I waved my then husband over to look at something and before he even got to see it he said “lemme guess, it’s brown.” At the time, I staunchly defended my safety net of blending and conforming. But now, I am in a time and place where brown no longer feels safe.

4 coats later, that poo brown was gone. In its place stood a bright shining orange table accenting my peacock couch, and I felt like me was reflected in my home. Every time I walk into that new apartment home of mine, I see all the colors I love so much and I am at home: spiritually, physically and emotionally, for the first time in perhaps years. It is my energy and my home.

I had to release my attachment to that old brown table which was that part of me that still believed there was some safety in normal. In layering those coats of paint I was confronted by a few other formerly “safe” attachments I didn’t realize were still there such as:

1. The corporate path is THE path to financial security.

2. Your home should reflect what others think of you before what you truly want for yourself.

3. Relentlessly meet expectations – regardless of how they manifest: be the “spiritual” person, coach the way everyone else does, follow formulas of the “uber successful”, continue to rely on the past as guidance and boundaries

4. Same is safe. Change is not safe.

5. There is a mythical someone external to my truth watching my every move and judging me to be authentic or inauthentic. And somehow this matters.

Yeah, I totally get how ridiculous all of this seems, but as I layered those coats of orange an equal measure of stripping away was taking place in my awareness. I became aware that I was in violation of my own belief system – still. I still have growth to achieve in this forging my own path way of life I have begun and the next step to take was releasing those horrid ideas that still had a tether to my being. Buh-bye.

So my orange table is, for now, a symbol of commitment to my warrior’s path of fighting for me and my own beliefs and discovering what is real for me and what isn’t. My path isn’t yours, but my passion is centered on supporting you seekers as you create yours, so here are some questions to consider:

What is your poo brown to orange table? What is the symbol in your life of a belief that needs to be examined, overhauled and adjusted to a new truth, a new normal, a new safe or a new way of life for you? I’d love to hear about it. Email me at Jennifer@nolimitslife.guru to share and maybe I’ll feature your story in an upcoming post!

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave. To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit http://www.nolimitslife.guru

Turn Your Life Into an Empowered Life

I signed in to my bank account to do the monthly financial check to see how everything was looking.  As I cautiously hit the “Sign In” button, I thought I was ready for the number.  I wasn’t.  It was lower.  Much lower.

Fear gripped me.  I decided to do my psychic/healing work full-time, knowing that there would be rough patches on the road, but I wasn’t prepared for just how deep those potholes would be.  Now I had the fear, terror and hopelessness that such a rough road could become.

My mind went immediately to worst-case scenarios, with their accompanying feelings of dread and disappointment.  Then the emotional landscape shifted to feelings of anger at myself and my situation; then to blame.  Then full-blown panic.

I had to stop this movement toward the Dark Side.

I stopped.  I closed my eyes and got in touch with that Inner Voice and Wisdom that I talk and write about so much.  The answers I received surprised me.

As much as I was doing, I realized that I was working within a very limited view of my abilities, aptitudes and influence.  The truth stared me in the face: I was working in the wrong head-space.  Rather than pushing the envelope in my areas of work, I was staking out fenceposts that said, “Do this much and no more.  This is your work, so just stick with it.  Change is deadly.”  By building those limits, and choosing to stay within them, I was not only limiting my influence and income, but also my gifts and even my dignity.

By choosing limitations, I was settling for a limited life and a lesser me. 

Something had to change, and fast.  I chose to jump the fence of what I was doing, and expand my horizons.  I connected with people I had ignored far too long, either out of fear or the excuse that it wasn’t my area in which to work.  I literally “put myself out there”, risking my reputation on both personal and public levels.  I did things I had never done before.  It was hard work, took longer than you might expect, and had no guarantee of good results.  I was scared to death.

And I succeeded.

My gifts started to grow beyond what seemed to be at a maximum at the time.  My personal sense of dignity and self-worth was beyond positive.  My reach to others expanded beyond any expectations I had until then.  Oh, and the bank account looked much better, too.

I feel that if you’re reading this article, you have either been at this kind of crisis point recently, or you’re in it right now.  It’s not fun or easy, but there is a truth here: If you’re experiencing this, it is a chance for you to recognize your limitations, release them and embrace your highest self.

Below are the six steps I took to recognize and release my limitations, so that I could become who I am truly meant to be.  Work through these slowly and deliberately to navigate your way through your situation to a more empowered, limit-free life!

  1. Observe. What’s going on right now? What are the limitations that you’ve set up for yourself, either on a conscious or unconscious level?  Now is not the time to discover their origins.  At this point, simply identify what your limitations are, as concretely as possible.
  1. Reflect. How are these limitations sabotaging your progress, not only on a professional/work level, but also on a personal level? Why do you want these limitations in your life – for safety, security, just because?
  1. Journal/Discuss. Journal about your observations and reflections, or discuss them with someone you trust. Get clear about what limitations you’ve set for yourself, and what they have done to both help and hinder your progress and growth.
  1. Plan. What are you going to do to blast through your limitations? What empowered steps can you take to start leaving your limitations behind and embrace your true potential…no matter how daunting or frightening those steps might be for you? 
  1. Account. Who can you be accountable to for your changes? Sure, you might just say “yourself”, but try to find someone else to whom you can be accountable for your changes.  Otherwise, you can make excuses and compromises with your limitations, and end up sabotaging any growth you hoped to achieve.  That person (or people!) also will encourage you when you have self-doubts or second thoughts and fears.
  1. Act. Yes, this is the scary part. Actually put your plan into action and make the empowering changes in your life you need to make.  Realize that you will feel scared.  You will feel like it’s impossible.  You will feel out of your comfort zone.  With regard to those feelings, remember you went through this complex array of feelings emotions and mindsets at least once before: when you were born.  And you’re still here!  Make the leap of faith, knowing that you will land on your feet.  Let your accountability partner(s) (Step 5) be your cheerleader and motivator when you need it.   You can do it, and you will!

 

Finally, remember this one truth: If you do nothing, you will stay just where you’re at.  If you choose to move in a new and empowered direction, the freedom you gain is worth more than anything you can possibly imagine!

Don Marlette is, among many other things, a member of the No Limits Life team.  His unique blend of psychic insight, mediumship and practical wisdom guide spirtual practitioners and everyday people through the perils of everyday getting by to build lives that feel like they are singing their heartsong.  Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

Why Permission is Important

The other day I said, “you have to give yourself permission to do that” and my client looked at me and said, “why is that so important?

Yes, it is a “coachism”, but it is also an important energetic step toward change in many cases. Yet when my client challenged me, I found myself digging deeper for the real answer instead of the safe answer to her question.

It led me to my own journaling on the idea so that I could get really clear on why I tell people to do this, instead of just tossing that out there as a spiritual platitude or to sound like a sage (gag!).

What I came up with was both stabilizing and fresh for me:

  • Permission is important because it opens you up to possibility
  • Permission is important because you are conscious when you GIVE permission – think of it as a permission slip you would sign for a childs’ field trip – this one for a journey of your conscious mind and spirit.
  • Permission is important because of the explicit NO it gives to things you don’t want. By saying yes to something you fill the void waiting – when you implicitly make decisions the void simply gets filled by whatever passes by.
  • Permission is important because by God it is yours to give. No one else gets to say yes or no for you – it’s yours to give: your decision, your right, your choice.

Let’s look at the flip side for a second: Have you ever thought about not being specific and where that gets you?  Not usually where you want to be right?  When you can’t invest in the work to make the small decisions, how on earth would you expect to get to the clarity the big ones need.

Giving yourself permission to explore specific and non-specific ideas, to do or not do something, it is FIRM.  It is unyielding and it is decisive – taking a stance and holding it.  You have drawn the line in the sand with whatever you have given permission to.  It is courageous and will absolutely provide you enhanced clarity in the next step of whatever you are doing.

So yes, you can write this phrase off as something we coaches and spiritualists toss out as woowoo platitudinal mumbo jumbo that is designed purely to assuage your guilt and “move you past” something.  Or you can get serious about intention, about possibility and about what you allow or don’t allow in your life.

Spiritual Platitudes are the band-aids on the sucking chest wounds of our self-inflicted spiritual trauma – they do no good and usually just pile on to the problem.  Permission – intentional decision making – is about proactively engaging in your life, your energetic commitments and your role here in this lifetime.

Grant yourself permission to be courageous and commit to intentional decision making – what do you need to give yourself permission for right now? 

Love? Space? Time? Relationships? Inquiry? Possibility? Money? Health?  the list can go on and on.

Then you want to say something like this:

Today I give myself permission for abundance – to allow in the wealth and security I know I am capable of and to give myself permission to let go of feelings of lack and insecurity. I give myself permission to give no quarter to lack. 

It’s a decision, not a platitude. It’s a position of strength, not weakness.  And permission is yours to dole out to you – go for it.

 

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

 

 

Facebook & Your Feelings

Oh Facebook, you allow us the opportunity to connect with people we otherwise wouldn’t connect to. You expose us to all types of perspectives and some of the most amazing recipes known to man. You also provide a home to the dreaded over sharers and complainers of the world that annoy the crap out of us! We ALL have that Facebook friend that drives us mad while we lecture them in our heads, we’ll never understand why they air their dirty laundry publicly or become a politician every time an election comes around.

facebook and friends

These people are draining us energetically, intentional or not.

Have you ever walked away from Facebook feeling more frustrated than before you checked it? If the answer is yes, you might want to rethink how you use it. Why? Because those feelings are in fact tuning your vibrational point of attraction whether you realize it or not. How you feel is your guidance system to know if you are attracting the people and circumstances you want or don’t want. It’s simple, if you’re feeling good you are on the right track to what you want and if you aren’t feeling good you are headed the wrong direction.

Do not despair, you can still use Facebook and keep your vibration on the right side of the tracks.

Consider these things when using Facebook:

Timing: 80% of smartphone users check their phones within 15 minutes of waking up. Most of us haven’t even brushed our teeth and we are opening ourselves up to a world of images and opinions that invoke feelings within us and start our day tuning to a less than ideal frequency. Consider when you check in – I suggest getting intentional with your vibration and getting your feet under you each day before you check in (literally and figuratively). It might mean that you don’t check in until after breakfast or after you’ve started your workday. Try tweaking your timing and see if you notice a difference.

Your friends list: How many friends do you have that you would actually speak to if you saw them in public? How many friends do you have that are negative and self-sabotaging? How many friends do you have that you can count on to provide positive quotes and articles that lift you up? Spend some time going through that friends list and get rid of the ones that don’t make you feel good. If you’re worried about hurt feelings or don’t want to cut the cord completely go to their page and unfollow them. Like magic you’ll no longer have to see them pop up in your feed and you’re still friends. Best of all they’ll never know!

The good stuff: Consider intentionally following pages that provide uplifting content, motivate you to reach your goals and make you feel good. Be intentional about what you’re exposing yourself to and control how you feel when using it. Here’s one of my personal favorites: https://www.facebook.com/NoLimitsLifeCoachingLlc/?fref=ts

At the end of the day you can be drained emotionally and energetically when you check in with the Facebook or you can be uplifted – what are you going to choose?

Abby

Abby Wickersheim is a life coach on the No Limits Life Team.  Her specialty is helping you tune your energies to what you want most in life and taking action to get it.  You can learn more about Abby and her programs at http://www.nolimitslife.guru