Turn Your Life Into an Empowered Life

I signed in to my bank account to do the monthly financial check to see how everything was looking.  As I cautiously hit the “Sign In” button, I thought I was ready for the number.  I wasn’t.  It was lower.  Much lower.

Fear gripped me.  I decided to do my psychic/healing work full-time, knowing that there would be rough patches on the road, but I wasn’t prepared for just how deep those potholes would be.  Now I had the fear, terror and hopelessness that such a rough road could become.

My mind went immediately to worst-case scenarios, with their accompanying feelings of dread and disappointment.  Then the emotional landscape shifted to feelings of anger at myself and my situation; then to blame.  Then full-blown panic.

I had to stop this movement toward the Dark Side.

I stopped.  I closed my eyes and got in touch with that Inner Voice and Wisdom that I talk and write about so much.  The answers I received surprised me.

As much as I was doing, I realized that I was working within a very limited view of my abilities, aptitudes and influence.  The truth stared me in the face: I was working in the wrong head-space.  Rather than pushing the envelope in my areas of work, I was staking out fenceposts that said, “Do this much and no more.  This is your work, so just stick with it.  Change is deadly.”  By building those limits, and choosing to stay within them, I was not only limiting my influence and income, but also my gifts and even my dignity.

By choosing limitations, I was settling for a limited life and a lesser me. 

Something had to change, and fast.  I chose to jump the fence of what I was doing, and expand my horizons.  I connected with people I had ignored far too long, either out of fear or the excuse that it wasn’t my area in which to work.  I literally “put myself out there”, risking my reputation on both personal and public levels.  I did things I had never done before.  It was hard work, took longer than you might expect, and had no guarantee of good results.  I was scared to death.

And I succeeded.

My gifts started to grow beyond what seemed to be at a maximum at the time.  My personal sense of dignity and self-worth was beyond positive.  My reach to others expanded beyond any expectations I had until then.  Oh, and the bank account looked much better, too.

I feel that if you’re reading this article, you have either been at this kind of crisis point recently, or you’re in it right now.  It’s not fun or easy, but there is a truth here: If you’re experiencing this, it is a chance for you to recognize your limitations, release them and embrace your highest self.

Below are the six steps I took to recognize and release my limitations, so that I could become who I am truly meant to be.  Work through these slowly and deliberately to navigate your way through your situation to a more empowered, limit-free life!

  1. Observe. What’s going on right now? What are the limitations that you’ve set up for yourself, either on a conscious or unconscious level?  Now is not the time to discover their origins.  At this point, simply identify what your limitations are, as concretely as possible.
  1. Reflect. How are these limitations sabotaging your progress, not only on a professional/work level, but also on a personal level? Why do you want these limitations in your life – for safety, security, just because?
  1. Journal/Discuss. Journal about your observations and reflections, or discuss them with someone you trust. Get clear about what limitations you’ve set for yourself, and what they have done to both help and hinder your progress and growth.
  1. Plan. What are you going to do to blast through your limitations? What empowered steps can you take to start leaving your limitations behind and embrace your true potential…no matter how daunting or frightening those steps might be for you? 
  1. Account. Who can you be accountable to for your changes? Sure, you might just say “yourself”, but try to find someone else to whom you can be accountable for your changes.  Otherwise, you can make excuses and compromises with your limitations, and end up sabotaging any growth you hoped to achieve.  That person (or people!) also will encourage you when you have self-doubts or second thoughts and fears.
  1. Act. Yes, this is the scary part. Actually put your plan into action and make the empowering changes in your life you need to make.  Realize that you will feel scared.  You will feel like it’s impossible.  You will feel out of your comfort zone.  With regard to those feelings, remember you went through this complex array of feelings emotions and mindsets at least once before: when you were born.  And you’re still here!  Make the leap of faith, knowing that you will land on your feet.  Let your accountability partner(s) (Step 5) be your cheerleader and motivator when you need it.   You can do it, and you will!

 

Finally, remember this one truth: If you do nothing, you will stay just where you’re at.  If you choose to move in a new and empowered direction, the freedom you gain is worth more than anything you can possibly imagine!

Don Marlette is, among many other things, a member of the No Limits Life team.  His unique blend of psychic insight, mediumship and practical wisdom guide spirtual practitioners and everyday people through the perils of everyday getting by to build lives that feel like they are singing their heartsong.  Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

Why Permission is Important

The other day I said, “you have to give yourself permission to do that” and my client looked at me and said, “why is that so important?

Yes, it is a “coachism”, but it is also an important energetic step toward change in many cases. Yet when my client challenged me, I found myself digging deeper for the real answer instead of the safe answer to her question.

It led me to my own journaling on the idea so that I could get really clear on why I tell people to do this, instead of just tossing that out there as a spiritual platitude or to sound like a sage (gag!).

What I came up with was both stabilizing and fresh for me:

  • Permission is important because it opens you up to possibility
  • Permission is important because you are conscious when you GIVE permission – think of it as a permission slip you would sign for a childs’ field trip – this one for a journey of your conscious mind and spirit.
  • Permission is important because of the explicit NO it gives to things you don’t want. By saying yes to something you fill the void waiting – when you implicitly make decisions the void simply gets filled by whatever passes by.
  • Permission is important because by God it is yours to give. No one else gets to say yes or no for you – it’s yours to give: your decision, your right, your choice.

Let’s look at the flip side for a second: Have you ever thought about not being specific and where that gets you?  Not usually where you want to be right?  When you can’t invest in the work to make the small decisions, how on earth would you expect to get to the clarity the big ones need.

Giving yourself permission to explore specific and non-specific ideas, to do or not do something, it is FIRM.  It is unyielding and it is decisive – taking a stance and holding it.  You have drawn the line in the sand with whatever you have given permission to.  It is courageous and will absolutely provide you enhanced clarity in the next step of whatever you are doing.

So yes, you can write this phrase off as something we coaches and spiritualists toss out as woowoo platitudinal mumbo jumbo that is designed purely to assuage your guilt and “move you past” something.  Or you can get serious about intention, about possibility and about what you allow or don’t allow in your life.

Spiritual Platitudes are the band-aids on the sucking chest wounds of our self-inflicted spiritual trauma – they do no good and usually just pile on to the problem.  Permission – intentional decision making – is about proactively engaging in your life, your energetic commitments and your role here in this lifetime.

Grant yourself permission to be courageous and commit to intentional decision making – what do you need to give yourself permission for right now? 

Love? Space? Time? Relationships? Inquiry? Possibility? Money? Health?  the list can go on and on.

Then you want to say something like this:

Today I give myself permission for abundance – to allow in the wealth and security I know I am capable of and to give myself permission to let go of feelings of lack and insecurity. I give myself permission to give no quarter to lack. 

It’s a decision, not a platitude. It’s a position of strength, not weakness.  And permission is yours to dole out to you – go for it.

 

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

 

 

Facebook & Your Feelings

Oh Facebook, you allow us the opportunity to connect with people we otherwise wouldn’t connect to. You expose us to all types of perspectives and some of the most amazing recipes known to man. You also provide a home to the dreaded over sharers and complainers of the world that annoy the crap out of us! We ALL have that Facebook friend that drives us mad while we lecture them in our heads, we’ll never understand why they air their dirty laundry publicly or become a politician every time an election comes around.

facebook and friends

These people are draining us energetically, intentional or not.

Have you ever walked away from Facebook feeling more frustrated than before you checked it? If the answer is yes, you might want to rethink how you use it. Why? Because those feelings are in fact tuning your vibrational point of attraction whether you realize it or not. How you feel is your guidance system to know if you are attracting the people and circumstances you want or don’t want. It’s simple, if you’re feeling good you are on the right track to what you want and if you aren’t feeling good you are headed the wrong direction.

Do not despair, you can still use Facebook and keep your vibration on the right side of the tracks.

Consider these things when using Facebook:

Timing: 80% of smartphone users check their phones within 15 minutes of waking up. Most of us haven’t even brushed our teeth and we are opening ourselves up to a world of images and opinions that invoke feelings within us and start our day tuning to a less than ideal frequency. Consider when you check in – I suggest getting intentional with your vibration and getting your feet under you each day before you check in (literally and figuratively). It might mean that you don’t check in until after breakfast or after you’ve started your workday. Try tweaking your timing and see if you notice a difference.

Your friends list: How many friends do you have that you would actually speak to if you saw them in public? How many friends do you have that are negative and self-sabotaging? How many friends do you have that you can count on to provide positive quotes and articles that lift you up? Spend some time going through that friends list and get rid of the ones that don’t make you feel good. If you’re worried about hurt feelings or don’t want to cut the cord completely go to their page and unfollow them. Like magic you’ll no longer have to see them pop up in your feed and you’re still friends. Best of all they’ll never know!

The good stuff: Consider intentionally following pages that provide uplifting content, motivate you to reach your goals and make you feel good. Be intentional about what you’re exposing yourself to and control how you feel when using it. Here’s one of my personal favorites: https://www.facebook.com/NoLimitsLifeCoachingLlc/?fref=ts

At the end of the day you can be drained emotionally and energetically when you check in with the Facebook or you can be uplifted – what are you going to choose?

Abby

Abby Wickersheim is a life coach on the No Limits Life Team.  Her specialty is helping you tune your energies to what you want most in life and taking action to get it.  You can learn more about Abby and her programs at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

13 Years was a Lifetime Ago

My son is just a few years younger than I was when I had my first drink. This occurred to me late last week as I watched him sitting among his stuffed animals giggling at a video he was watching on his iPad. He is so young still, while just beginning to press into young manhood, way too young to be worrying about his first drink right?

I was 12 if I am remembering correctly – though I won’t bet his life on the accuracy of my memory.  My memory has some major disconnects – severed by alcohol or self-preservation. Either? Both?  Who knows? They are simply either not there or jumbled.

At 12, I had the drink that solved the puzzle for me – it was what I had been looking for, the thing to make me feel whole; or so I thought.  I had no concept of how sharply that would turn on me, how severely it would hurt and how wrong I was about the impact it was having on me. 

I was a “good kid” – decent grades, good friends, family who was flawed (whose isn’t??!!) and grandiose visions of a future quite different than the one I was living.  I was angry at a lot of things (real and imagined)  and that anger got no better as time and experience went on into my teen years.

Alcohol became a very important companion in my life – subjugating the anger, dulling it and enabling me to perform acts of greatness (in my mind) on a nightly basis.

I was 28, in the military and deployed to the Middle East working in a US embassy when it all came tumbling down – my “bottom” found.  Whose grand plan it was to drop an alcoholic into the only area of the Middle East that would allow me essentially open access to booze – I was soon to learn.

I had vowed to my soon to be ex-fiance that I would not drink while over there.  He told me that I was not myself when I drank – that he didn’t trust me.  A close friend had once told me that when I drank it was like someone flipped a switch  – I’d be looking at him and I’d be me – the cool chick he adored.  Then I’d look away and look back and crazy me had taken over – the one who would run up hundreds on his bar tab, dance on the table, start fights and run away, forget she was married or engaged or whatever her state was and in general spread chaos in her wake.  I remember shrugging that off when he told me…but also hearing the warning.  When my soon to be ex-fiance asked me to not drink I wholeheartedly agreed – and meant it so completely I was even a little surprised myself.  But a little voice inside whispered, “we’ll see….”.

The night I failed him hurt – and I could no more explain why I had gotten drunk that night than I could explain why the sun rose.  I had no choice.  I just did. When asked why I was drunk, I was honest for the first time in my life and answered “I don’t know”; if you don’t have a “problem” with alcohol that may make no sense.  Who doesn’t have a choice? How can you not know why you violated your word? How is that possible?  Was I weak willed, incapable of committing – what the hell “no choice”?  That’s ridiculous right?

I was stupendously strong willed in many other areas of my life.  I had put myself through college, worked 40 hour weeks, full loads at school up to 27 credits in a semester maintaining a solid GPA.  I had risen out of my small town and humble beginnings to become an officer in the US Army.  I had married and divorced and survived, I had two combat deployments under my belt and was fiercely independent…but I couldn’t NOT drink. 

On the night of April 18th I was handed the reason and the solution – roughly 2 weeks after my failure with my promise.  The reason was I was alcoholic – the solution was to surrender to the Truth.  I knew of alcoholism.  My grandfather was over 50 years sober at his death, my grandmother is approaching 35.  Yet it had never crossed my mind that alcohol was my problem. Instead I blamed people, circumstance, places and anything else; because if it was alcohol…I was lost.  As much as I hated to admit it I didn’t know how to function without alcohol.

But I was about to learn.

13 years after that fortuitous night, I sit reflecting on a completely different life – it was a lifetime ago.  Today I am dependent on nothing except the spiritual direction of my guides and the experiences spiritual connection sends me.

Here are 13 things I am indescribably grateful for since taking that last drink:

  1. I have been without alcohol for 13 years and today have a healthier, more complete experience than I could have hoped for – the very feeling I sought to gain from alcohol.
  2. My son has never seen, nor will ever see me under the influence of alcohol.
  3. I don’t seek connection on inauthentic terms – I am me and I am stoked you are you. If we don’t jive, we can go our separate ways without animosity. Go do you – you rock.
  4. I can see my part in life – when I make a mistake I own it and do my best to make amends, but I also know I am not the sole responsibility holder. We all have free will and choose how we justify it or flow with it.
  5. I can be of support to others without expecting anything in return – and I can detach from their skepticism of that offer.
  6. I always remember my experiences – and can be present for the full spectrum of emotions that come with them.
  7. I can have honest relationships.
  8. I have no idea what fireball whiskey tastes like.
  9. Social Media became a thing AFTER my last drink.
  10. Being able to see that recovery from alcoholism means being able to participate in life fully rather than either crushing it or watching from the sidelines.
  11. Perfection is a myth but progress is a worthy aspiration.
  12. It’s not my job to manage your life – but I can certainly offer assistance when you seek it.
  13. I’m okay.

It’s important to me to pause on occasions like the date of my sobriety and be grateful to spirit, to the people who helped me discover my truth and to learn how to live it.  I dedicate my life to being grateful for the gift of full spectrum living.

If you struggle with alcohol and its impact in your life – there is a solution.  Check out your local Alcoholics Anonymous listings, talk to your doctor, or consult a therapist:  get your questions answered and let your free will guide you to the next choice of needing help, continuing on or some third option.

For those who like to see the negative in every word along the way, allow me to be clear: I am not a prohibitionist.  Alcohol in and of itself is not a problem – there are issues associated with alcohol I morally disagree with that are separate from my inability to drink it – but on the whole I don’t think it’s the devil nor see any reason to lobby for  its demise.  You want to drink – go for it, not my place to judge.

I share this writing from my personal experience only and offer suggestions for those who want them.

 

 

If you’d like to learn more about me (Jennifer Murphy) and my business (No Limits Life) you can visit www.nolimitslife.guru.  We offer online courses, live events and private coaching focused on partnering with you to create the lifestyle you crave but haven’t developed yet. 

 

 

Intersecting with Long Time Friends 

Sometimes you are lucky enough to connect with people you share so much love with that even if time and circumstance come between you, when you talk again, it is as if no time at all has passed. I have a handful of friends in this arena and they are so special to me! 

Tonight I connected with a friend from my 2001 military deployment. We didn’t know each other before we deployed being from different units and specialities, but because of our jobs, we came into frequent contact. A friendship sparked and we found ourselves sharing “what will we do after deployment” stories, he commiserated with my mid-deployment divorce and I with his insane break up with his lady love. Returning to our base post deployment,  we stayed connected: we commiserated over failed relationship after failed relationship, promotions, separations and relocations. Our circle of friends expanded to others from our deployment and beyond, yet today he is the only one I stay in regular contact with. 

I was at his wedding, cried when I met his bride to be for I could not have created a better woman for him.  And I cried because I knew my marriage was falling apart as he found happiness. He and his bride cradled me in their home in Canada post divorce and helped my son and I create an amazing vacation memory we desperately needed. 

Tonight as we spoke and I caught up on family members comings and goings, sicknesses, victories and challenges I had a moment of wistfulness – a wanting to recapture the “good ol days” where our biggest concern was which bar to hit that Friday or who was picking up who at the airport. 

But as I surveyed my life and gained insight to his my next thought was how very blessed we both were: We had connected. We have stay connected and we can call each other months apart, pick up where we left off and support each other. My friend needed to hear that I cared and want the best for him and his bride and where they are right now, and I just needed to be there and be able to give my support without taking anything. 

Do you have these friends in your world? These gifts along your path whose path may take different twists and turns, but never fail to intersect, time and again?  When was the last time they intersected? Is it your turn to twist toward them and reach out for connection? If it is, do it. There is no reason to wait. 
Jennifer Murphy is an integrative life coach leading a team of incredible people to serve those who seek the next level of success in life. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

What Is Your Visionary Type?

by Don Marlette DonMarlette(558x800)

The word “visionary” conjures up a number of images in my mind’s eye: the guru on the mountain top who attracts followers of all stripes, the leader with a mystical look in her eyes who cares more about practical change and less about what people think of her, the rebel who charges ahead, undaunted by opposition on every side – and these are but a few!

At some level, we are all visionaries.  Remember the first time that you thought about who you wanted to be when you grew up.  Recall the last time you could see yourself in a serious relationship with someone.  These are examples of many “visionary moments” we experience.  When we allow certain visionary moments to grow and develop into a consuming passion, we pass into the realm of the visionary lifestyle.

How that visionary lifestyle will look depends upon you.  I have found numerology to be a helpful tool to discover one’s “visionary type” or mode of visionary life.  Once you know your Visionary Type, you can discover your strengths and areas for growth, so that you can live a visionary lifestyle that is in harmony with your highest self.

To discover your own Visionary Type, simply write down the numerical month and day of your birth in the spaces below.  Then add them together, and keep adding the individual numbers together until you get a single number.  For example, if I were born on August 18, (which becomes 08-18), I would write:

0 + 8 + 1 + 8  =  17  and then…  1 + 7  = 8  = Visionary Type

Now it’s your turn:

__+___+___+___  = _____   and then…  ___+___  =  ___  =  Your Visionary Type

Now that you’ve found your Visionary Type number, match it to the corresponding description below to discover more about your type!

  1. The Reforming Visionary. Your idealism is key to living out your vision.  You have very high standards, and want to be a person of integrity in living them each day.  While maintaining a fierce loyalty to your vision, you may have problems with resentment and patience.  Stay in the moment and avoid becoming consumed by self-criticism or criticism of others.
  1. The Helping Visionary. Your ease of expressing your true feelings, unconditional love for others, and ability to connect with others will help you to bring your vision into reality. Living out your vision may be challenging at times, due to a tendency toward becoming sentimental and overly concerned with the opinions of others.  Become more emotionally aware and self-nurturing to more effectively make your vision a reality.
  1. The Results Visionary. Your ability to pull people into your circle of friends will take you far. You can be very driven toward success, and work very hard to be productive and effective in everything you do.  Watch out for workaholism and egotism, as you may easily tilt toward burnout or over-concern about your image.  Work on becoming more self-accepting and authentic in your relationship with yourself, as well in your relationships with others.  A balanced life will help you achieve your vision more effectively than overwork and “burning the midnight oil.”
  1. The Independent Visionary. Your independence stems from your desire to be more reserved and alone. Solitude is your greatest teacher, as well as the wellspring of your own dynamic creativity.  Be careful of falling into self-pity or personal drama; your life is actually better than you may perceive it right now.  Good social interactions will help you gain perspective.  Strive to become more objective and principled so that you can see your true progress in achieving your goals.  You are doing better than you think!
  1. The Cerebral Visionary. Your constant curiosity, alertness to information, and innovative approaches help you on your path. Your pioneering spirit helps you blaze new trails in making your vision a reality.  Because you are very much “in your head”, you may tend toward becoming more isolated and eccentric than you would like.  Develop greater self-confidence and decisiveness, so that you don’t become trapped into thinking you have to do everything.
  1. The Responsible Visionary. You don’t really see yourself as the visionary type! You want to be secure in what you do, so striking out into the unknown is more than a little scary.  However, you do have a rebellious streak in you, and that rebelliousness is the hatchery of your true visionary creativity.  Get in touch with that, and courageously champion that vision with all your might.  Yes, letting go of security can be frightening, but life will become much richer for you when you do.
  1. The Playful Visionary. Your playfulness, spontaneous and optimistic nature will give you the fuel to achieve your goals. Beware of becoming too impulsive and off-task, however.  Once you make a decision, strive to follow through to its completion.  Also, get in touch with your own inner pain, as it will help you to become more authentic and reach more people effectively.
  1. The Challenging Visionary. Your strong self-confidence helps you to forge ahead and get things done, especially in making your vision a reality. Although your assertiveness can help you accomplish great things, be mindful that you do not become intimidating or controlling.  Use your strengths to become more inspiring for others and improve their lives.
  1. The Self-Effacing Visionary. Yes, you want to have a peaceful life and not trouble the waters too much, and there is a way to achieve your goals without stepping on too many toes. Realize that confrontation and occasional conflict are part of the work of manifesting your dreams, and your natural peacefulness and calm will make these confrontations less dramatic than you may fear.  Work on becoming more self-developing and self-confident to bring out the best in yourself for the good of others.

Keep in mind these Visionary Types are not set in stone.  They are intended to help you see your own strengths, and how you can incorporate them in to your life.  Your own unique “stamp” on your Visionary Type is not only important, but necessary for you to articulate, plan and implement a vision and goals that are truly your own.

Have fun adding this to your personal toolbox for making your dreams a reality!

Don Marlette is a powerful intuitive who loves to help people learn to sing their heart song! You can learn more about Don and how to work directly with him, take a class with him or attend his live event on April 2 by clicking here

Aside

GET BACK IN THE GAME

contributed by Eilynn Dixon

You are likely familiar with the biggest game of the year for football where fans and players to get to see the final showdown of the two best teams. This year 2016 it was between Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers, I had the awesome opportunity of visiting Denver on the night of the game. As I watched the winning fans revel in their triumph it made me think about how The Big Game is so much like our everyday game of Life and how important it is for us to stay in the game!

There will be moments in life that you want to get out of the game, stay on the sidelines and watch everyone else play. This is not living the life of your dreams and this will not get you to your Big Game of living the life of your dreams. You can either choose to keep looking at what others are doing and saying “oh wow that is nice”, “wish I could do that”, or you can get back in the game and choose a different position. That is what it is all about – staying in the game; there will be moments you might need a break and to get rehydrated, take a vacation, visit friends for overdose of laughter, exercise, anything that will give you fuel to keep you going. Then you get back out there and keep playing. There will come a time when you begin to analyze the position that you are playing, maybe it does not seem as challenging anymore or you are having a hard time defining your duties. These positions of life are where we start to look inward and see what is most important and decide that we can either stay where we are in unhappiness or we can change the position of life and start living the life of our dreams.

There was a time in my life about two years ago that I had a really tough time figuring out what to do next for me and how to get me out of a rut. It was like I woke up one day and asked myself, “Where did I go? Where am I?”

  • There were days when I didn’t want to get out of bed and see anybody, but I just pushed myself each time and went through the motion.
  • Even going through the motion I still just felt like a shell.
  • My Grandmother had recently passed and my relationships were in turmoil.
  • I couldn’t tell if I was still grieving or if I was just upset at the world. I had a hard time allowing myself to just be me and be okay with who I was at that moment.

I had to make a decision to either stay on the sideline of living the life of a shell or get back in the game.

It is ok – whatever happened in the past, today is a new day, and the opportunity to live a new way. I am ready to get back in the game and play a different position and create a different playbook. There might be a chance to even get a few new team members.

It’s all about making the necessary choices and execute actions to become that person you want to be not be the person the world expects you to be.

It’s about recognizing all your gifts, talents, happiness that make up your wonderful self that is you!! We cannot afford to sit on the sidelines you have to stay in the game and always remember to look to your Higher Power for guidance. My Coach and Captain of my game is my Heavenly Father, He keeps the game fair as He promised and provides all the equipment, tools and gear I need to be successful. I just keep my heart full of faith and gratitude while enjoying the little moments and taking baby steps to live the life of my dreams.