I did 39 days, how long did you do?

Among the biggest crimes we can commit, the crime of selling ourselves short sits right up there towards the top.  Selling ourselves short can show up in a few different forms: fear, procrastination, disbelief in self, blaming others, and on and on.  Come up with your own thought on it if you want to.  You know best the ways you sell yourself short.

I confronted my own selling myself short when I decided to challenge myself to blog for 39 days straight.  I decided to stop saying “I wish I could” and start saying “I will”.

A few minutes ago I found myself on the back steps of the building my studio is hosted in with my head in my hands, my breath coming in gasps and my eyes spilling over with the tears I really didn’t want to release.  Once more I am confronted with the opportunity to sell myself short, or pull up my power-boots, stop trying to think my way out of the dilemma I find myself in and take action.

When I decided to take myself on this 30 day blog challenge, it was a “why are you waiting?” energy.   I didn’t have a good reason to wait to do this.  You can read on my thoughts in that original blog post here. Today I was having more of a “what do you want from me universe?” moment.

What happened was that I had invested a chunk of time loading content for a program I have kicking off Monday into my online tool for delivery. I had planned to load a bunch more today after final review.  When I logged in, I found it all to be gone. All gone, hours and hours of work for the most successful online program sale I have had yet.  After I went numb for a moment, I submitted a help request.  Then I went into emotional paralysis for a moment or 400 and wondered what to do next.

I reflected on the irony of this being the last day of my blog challenge to me, I reflected on how terrible I am at celebrating when I do complete good things like this and I wondered at the timing.  So I decided the action I would take is to wait to see what the help desk says and go ahead and celebrate my accomplishment of 39 days of blogging.  Goal completed. I am proud of myself for that, I truly am.

Keep this celebration energy going, let’s raise the vibration for us all.  What are you celebrating, what are you accomplishing, what are you committing to that you are proud of – big or small?

Share it. Indulge it. Savor it.

It’s way better to do that than to wallow in ickiness.

So, live dangerously, love what you do have going on and enjoy the ride.

Jennifer Murphy is an eternal optimist embracing the art of living dangerously and spreading it to others through her work as a coach, artist and writer.  Learn more at www.nolimitslife.guru

On The Brink: a tale of passion and perseverance?

A business isn’t really a business if it doesn’t have customers, followers, the ability to support itself and growth right?  It can be kind of confusing for an entrepreneur when one of these links in the chain just isn’t staying put.

The entrepreneur can see that there is a following, there are a modest amount of customers, a scraping by with the supporting itself, yet growth is stagnant, if not falling back on itself at times.

Or the following is there, but the buying behavior isn’t strong.  Or expenses raise to that level just beyond reach for one reason or another – an egotistical sub-lease holder deciding he isn’t going to pay his third of the rent anymore and setting expectations he has no right to set or some other event.

Being an entrepreneur on the brink of making it is one of the more frustrating/exhilarating experiences of my life. This perspective come from me as a woman who has spent two deployments overseas working in combat conditions and a US embassy, had a premature child and been divorced twice.  Yes, this point in my business has me pulling my hair out.

What I don’t need is another business coach, I don’t need another “secret to making big bucks through xxx” and I don’t need to attend any more free events/webinars/teleconferences or whatever out there.

So what do I need?  What does any entrepreneur need in a moment like this?

She needs Courage: huge buckets of courage and clarity and encouragement and support from key people.

I have been asking the universe, my coaches, my partner, and my tattoo of Ganesh the mighty lord of obstacles and success to support me in all of these pursuits.  I am asking for the path on which to take action.  As I balance precariously at this point, do I cut my losses and get a corporate job again for a while or do I keep pushing through knowing that all the accumulated wisdom is paying off and the actions I am consistently taking are leading me to the other side?

There have been boom months, and bust months as I have been in business for the last few years.  There have been times I have no idea which direction I am going and what my message is as I go there.  And there are times like now when I know beyond a shadow that I have found my central message with The Art of Living Dangerously – building a life that you want, not some crazy version of expectation from others.  I want to partner with people to release that same tension I feel now – that there is more for you, this life you have is meant to be lived with purpose, not with programming.  You don’t have to settle.

This energy of not settling is why I feel so hypocritical in wondering if I should return to the corporate arena.  I am not passionate about the corporate arena. I am good at it and it was fun at times and not worthless. But honestly, I’d prefer to work in a coffee shop for a few hours a week, a few days a week while nurturing this business of mine.

If I am going to be ruthlessly honest, it physically hurts to consider going to work for someone else again – I want to be the coffee shop owner.  I want to be the one who hires someone like me who just wants those few hours.  When I left my corporate job I swore I’d never give up. I don’t fail and I don’t quit.  My enlisted often referred to me as a bulldog (no reference to my alma mater at Fresno State) or the little engine that could.  I am tenacious and I am passionate. Working for someone else subordinates that spirit in a big way and eventually I rebel in one way or another.

This video, despite it’s terrible quality, is a pretty accurate depiction of what is happening in my brain with respect to my pursuit of entrepreneurship right now.  Enjoy.

So what is a girl with a passion, a business on the brink and a child to support to do?

The answer to that remains to be seen.  I am open to whatever possibility shows up.  What I know for sure is that I will keep doing this on my terms and my terms alone.  No one else’s “formula for success” will be the key.  There is no “overnight success” in this deal, there is hard work and being authentic with the desire to truly serve others with the gift of freedom.

I know there are enough of you out there feeling the pull to take action to truly move your life the direction you feel called to, and I know you know that you could use some unbiased support. You are smart enough to recognize that your family loves you and means well but will always want what they believe is best for you. You are perceptive enough to see that an impartial, supportive, been there ally is worth investing in for your next move – to help you stay strong when you are not sure, when you are on the brink.

I have had these coaches, and they are why I haven’t thrown in the towel. They are a huge factor in why I have been able to be afraid and take action anyway. I will keep opening up for more courage, for more possibility – will you?

Do me a favor, if you are bored with your current life, if you are curious about opening up to more courage, to exploring the direction your life is going, to understanding how to overcome the obstacles of today, grab a confusion to clarity strategy session with me and let me offer you some small actions you can take to pave the way for whatever big impact you want to make in life.  You have been following me for a bit, we should chat.

I am not going to try to sell you anything I don’t think would help you – but if I see something, I will feel obligated to share a way out of it for you – it’s just my nature to want to help you find the way that is best for you! But I won’t be crazy salesy, I can’t, it isn’t me.  If it is for you, it is.  If it isn’t – no big. Trust me, you have nothing to lose, and I’d bet you gain something.

I am Jennifer Murphy, and I am all about partnering with people to ignite the courage they need to have to be whatever they want to be. Learn more on my website http://www.nolimitslife.guru

How do you Harsh Yourself?

Our ability to harsh on ourselves is truly unmatched.  Our inner bully gives our inner victim what it asks for and our inner guru sits by in observation waiting for awareness to kick in. Yet we harsh on, we push through the resistance to being gentle and we abuse and batter and weaken.

The craziest reasons serve as our justification.  Simply crazy, go ahead and just shake your head in humble agreement because you know they are crazy.

Let me share a mild example from just this morning. I received a routine notice: my social media posts had all been shared from my auto-send assistant.  Immediately I felt behind, felt bad about being behind and wanted to hurry to get logged in to get a bunch more things in the queue.  My thoughts scrambled like pilots on the deck of an aircraft carrier.

One thought was my need to write up my notes for a class I am delivering tomorrow night.  The thought served as a reminder of my habit of always waiting until right before an event to prepare my notes.  I thought about sending this as a social media share something like:  I don’t know why I always wait until the last minute to create the material for my classes and workshops, I really should get better at preparation. “

As soon as the thought hit me, I realized how contrary so much in the simple statement is to what I believe as I embrace the energy of living dangerously by being me.  Let me break down a few of those things for you here:

  1. Waiting until the last minute is bad.

Is it?  Is it really?  Or is it just what I do and it works for me.  Same reason I don’t work ahead on my blogs and instead sit down every single day and create the blog for the day the same day.  The same reason I didn’t assign a time I “had to” post to every day and instead just let myself post when I feel like it.

  1. Good material is created only over a long period of time.

You must invest hours and hours and sweat and tears and blood in material to make it good is a fallacy.  I do think it requires some thought and review and investment, but the idea of creating only with your logical process oriented mind is simply ridiculous.   I tend to create intuitively and sometimes impulsively.  I let my intuition guide my content creation.   Because of this, sometimes my best received work has been first drafts and off center craziness.

  1. Should is a rule to live by.

Living by a rule of should has taken me to lots of bad, scary places.  The idea of should implies there is an external force setting the rules for me and my path.  I reject this idea. Instead, I embrace the idea of being guided from the infinite energy of spirit which comes from our connection within ourselves. Everything is need to do is chosen by me under the tutelage of spirit and universal creation energy.

Those three little conflicting thoughts to living the dangerous life of authenticity are limiting beliefs. They serve only to limit the imagination and creativity you can use as you walk your path.

Think about how these ideas come into play in your life.  Sit in mediation or journal on these questions:

  1. What is your working style? Do you need lots of time to prepare, rehearse and revise and rehearse again before you go public? Or do you prefer to grab the main ideas and go for it? Neither is wrong, but you need to know what works for you.
  2. What are you judging yourself about right now? What do you feel you “should” be doing? Ask yourself where that belief is coming from and how it is serving you. Change your thoughts and let the change flow out to your emotions and actions.

Share what this brings up for you, your ideas as answers in the comments or email me at Jennifer@nolimitslife.guru

Jennifer Murphy is the universe’s foremost advocate on living dangerously through her writing, creations as a glass artist and partner with those who seek to find their own version of right for them.  Learn more at www.nolimitslife.guru

There’s Cardinals in Them There Trees

As a child I had a grandmother who was immensely in tune with what was happening with the birds and the flowers and nature in general.  She would take me on car rides, just to ride around and look at the poppy fields in California when they were in full bloom and we’d stop and examine interesting bird scenes.  I remember feeding the birds in her back yard, mixing up the sugar, water and food coloring for the humming birds and then waiting to see who might show up.

When I realized I was alcoholic and began my recovery journey, among the first I reached out to was this same grandmother and her husband. As I shared my pain and shame with them, they cared for me in a way only one who has been there can.  I heard many stories in that time, chief of which was the role the birds played in my grandmother’s own survivor process.

To this day every time I see a blue jay, a red headed woodpecker, a shiny black bird or even a tiny “tweety bird’ as my son calls them, I think of my grandmother and I smile at the many sweet memories I have of her letters, her stories and our experiences with the birds.

I live in an apartment that looks out into some trees. Whether I peer out my large sliding glass doors or open my front door on my way somewhere, I see trees bursting with wildlife.  Every single morning there is a male and female cardinal pair that greets us.  This same pair flits through the trees in the back, land on our balcony and have been a presence since we made the move from suburbia to apartment dwelling.

They have been a part of my support system – they landed on the balcony the first day I took possession of my apartment and just looked in at me.  Just looked and let me know I was okay.

In one month I will be moving to an apartment closer to my studio.  The trees are not there. The birds have no habitat there to hang out in.  Cardinals as an animal energy in support of all I have experienced in the last few years may be transitioning.

My heart is heavy with acceptance.

Systems, totems and support form when we need them and transition when we need to move on.  The next phase is beginning; it is time to move on.

Pay attention to these signs in your own life. What you need to feel rooted will show up and be present.  What you need to allow your transition will arrive and support you.  Be awake an aware enough to choose presence and be the co-creator of your experience, not the hapless victim.

Jennifer Murphy spends her time investigating and sharing the art of living dangerously through her work as an artist, writer and coach as she creates her own path not meeting society’s expectations, but her own.  Learn more at www.nolimitslife.guru

When Change makes you Want to Pass Out

Times change, people change, habits change. Our reactions to change can vary and we handle them alternatingly with grace and dignity and with a foolishness befitting a pig on ice. 

Once in a while though, something will happen that will shift your energies so intensely that you will want to simply curl into a ball, shutdown and just pass out. 

But it will be there when you return. The change and the shift will be in place. 

I think what happens is that we intuitively knew it would happen, the spiritual and the physical collide and our awareness is forced to deal so the ego fights for a time. It fights the change because that is its job – to protect us from what it perceives to be harm. 

Today when I had this happen, the phrase “you knew this was coming, it was only a matter of time” just looped through my head over and over as my spiritual and mental awareness fought for a new center. I wanted to resist but also knew it was simply a change, neither bad nor good unless I assigned such energy. 

I was reminded my thoughts create my emotions and my actions and it pays to pause and get in touch with my response, not just my reaction. 

The change did flow in and become integrated. I responded rather than reacted. 

Your power lies in your thoughts. Be aware of them and you can reclaim ownership of your life one thought, emotion and action at a time. 

Jennifer Murphy is an expert on The Art of Living Dangerously: small ideas for big impact. She is a writer, artist, speaker and coach. Learn more at www.nolimitslife.guru

Are You a Foolish Prophet?

Sitting at the coffee house one morning, I overheard one of the more disturbing beliefs out there in the universe voiced.  “If you want to go to the poorhouse buy foods that are NOT genetically modified and good for you.”

My mouth dropped, my stomach clenched and I couldn’t help but turn and look at the person who said this.  He was advocating buying complete crap for food. He then went on to enjoy his own rhetoric with unsolicited observations about the world including such brilliance as how mean dogs are, how hard it is to get up in the morning so he rarely does it, how hard it is to be an adult and other stories before he announced he needed to go have another cigarette, again.

Experiences like these bring up a host of responses in me.

See, this man is representative of so many things I do not stand for that it is illuminating to see and hear this kind of behavior and be able to know that it isn’t for me and isn’t my choice to fall in with broad generalizations about life the way he does and act the foolish expert.

I prefer to live dangerously and form my own opinions based on my experiences. My experiences take me to places like:

  1. Being able to change my opinion based on an expanded experience bas2014-11-02 12.16.26e.

A few years ago I would have agreed that buying exclusively organic chemical free foods would break my bank.  Today I call BS on this idea.  I spend less at the co-op eating high quality foods because my body is satisfied sooner on high quality. My body wants good stuff so where I was spending an average of $200 a week on food a few years ago, today I spend an average of $60. I think there is a reason my son is ravenous when he comes back from time at his father’s and after one substantial meal at my house, he eats normally again.

  1. I allow there to be unique attributes within a group.

Women are not all needy, men are not all assholes (read why Men Freaking Rock here).  Kids aren’t dumb and all dogs of a certain breed are not bad.  But yeah, some women are needy, some men are assholes, some kids are dumb and there are a few bad owners out there who have created bad dogs within a breed. I totally get that. But I like to assess each individual on the merits of their own worth and make my own assessment.

  1. Being alive is freaking awesome – even when you get to be an adult.

2014-10-29 18.28.14Whether you are 8, 14, 40, or 90 being able to wake up every single day and engage in the adventure of the limitless possibilities in life is freaking awesome.  It just is.  There are totally tough experiences that pop up.  Yes, there are. Those things make us stronger and better and more interesting.  They give us stories and relatable energies that take us away from the same old rhetoric and allow for more fun and adventure to flow in.

  1. Smoking Cigarettes is stupid.

It is.  You know it is. You have read the report, you know it doesn’t make you look cool. I smoked when I drank for a while.  I smoked because it was one more way I could harm myself and get even with myself for not being good enough.  As an alcoholic that made perfect sense.  As an awakened being who wants to live a long, healthy, active, adventurous life – smoking is just stupid.

One of my favorite coaching questions is “who told you that?”  It can be super easy to just let words pour out of your mouth with very little thought and examination because that is just what you have always said, or what your programming embedded within.  When confronted with “who told you that?” in response to a potentially limiting belief, many will pause and not actually know where it came from.
So the next natural question to ask is “is it true?”  or “is that what you want to believe?”  We have the ability to make highly conscious decisions about what our beliefs are and what reality we want them to create.

I challenge you to live dangerously and get really conscious about what reality your thoughts are creating.  You don’t have to be the foolish expert or pompous prophet.

Be you, live dangerously, be you.

If this philosophy interests you, join me for my free series called The Art of Living Dangerously the last Monday of every month. In addition to the information and tools I will be sharing with you I will be interviewing those who chose that path of living dangerously and being their authentic selves and together we will learn how they did it and we can do even more of it too!

Jennifer Murphy Lives Dangerously each day as an artist, writer and partner to those who want to explore their own authenticity and explore the path of living dangerously. Learn more at www.nolimitslife.guru

5 Ways you are Settling for Good Enough and How to Stop

If you are settling for good enough, there are some pretty clear signs that you can watch for as you move through daily living.

There is a real reason to watch for this: You only get this life in this incarnation – live it to its fullest.  It is that simple.  Why would you settle for anything short of fulfillment?

So I want to share the 5 ways you are settling – check in with yourself on each one and see where you sit.

  1. Everyone else comes first.
  2. You say yes to things you don’t want to do.
  3. You don’t have a hobby or “thing” you do.
  4. Daily living feels boring.
  5. Life feels out of control.

These are just simple things to ask yourself and see what your authentic response is to each one.  If you were to assign a ranking of 1-5 with 5 being least accurate and 1 being very true for you, how would you score?

1-5 I don’t settle much at all

5-10 I settle a little

10-15 I settle on some things but not all things

15- 20 I settle quite a bit

20-25 Yes, I am settling. All the time.

The score is relative of course.  We’d like to have a number and a label to feel better about but listen to your intuition, you know if you are settling or not and you don’t need a number to tell you that.

Now that you have admitted you are settling, you can get to the business of stopping that behavior.

Here are ways to counter each of the ways above.

  1. Create time for you.
  2. Decide if the thing you are being asked to do fits with what is important to you.
  3. Think about what you loved to do as a child and explore that as an adult to develop a hobby.
  4. Do one thing every day just because you enjoy it.
  5. Pause and examine what is truly important to you and focus energy on that.

This can feel like a lot and getting started can feel like a huge challenge.  I don’t like to offer information without a path forward, I do have a way to help you.  On May 4th I am kicking off my Align Your Life Boot Camp which will help you with techniques to stop settling, support you as you align your resources and build the foundation upon which you create the life you want. Learn more and register here.

I created this affirmation for you to use to release the energy of settling: I deserve to be happy and fulfilled.

Wishing you Many Limitless Moments

Jennifer Murphy is a life coach, artist and writer who partners with people who know there is more in life for them but aren’t sure how to connect here with there. Learn more and grab free stuff at www.nolimitslife.guru