From Passenger to Driver

The moment we give power to ourselves, crossing over from the passenger’s seat to the driver’s seat, we can never go back. I spent most of my life in the passenger’s seat: creating by default and wondering what was around the corner that I needed to protect myself from. In fact, I would say that all of my life was dedicated towards avoiding the bad, expecting and enjoying good things never crossed my mind.

It was a big bad world and people were out to get me. My first real job was in a call center. Those of you who have ever worked in one can relate to those people who were so terribly rude. I never knew how I was going to feel, I was a dumping ground for everyone else’s bad days-it wasn’t unusual to be yelled at and called names. I’d leave work feeling miserable, sad and defeated. I felt helpless and at the mercy of others, stuck in a vicious circle of blame.

It wasn’t just isolated to work, I could blame others for making me feel bad at home and in the general public too. I remember vividly wanting a lip ring in my early 20s, I thought it was the coolest thing ever and the day I got it I was so excited to show my family. I was really, really excited, I felt so confident and cool. I’ll never forget the look on my grandpa’s face when he said I “looked like crap”. My confidence and joy plummeted immediately, I began to question my own judgment. How could I have possibly wanted that?! I went from shear excitement to sadness in about 5 seconds.

In those days people made me feel things. If they told me how stupid I was, I felt like shit and surely they were right. They had the power to make me feel bad.

One day I woke up. I woke up to the concept that I own how I feel, no one else has the power to make me feel anything, it’s all my choice. Just because someone had a bad day and called me stupid because they weren’t getting their way, didn’t mean I had to feel bad. I jumped over that middle console right into the driver’s seat. With that jump I was empowered to experience life in the way that I wanted to.

It was an amazing concept that I was able to experience stability in my emotions. The ups and downs I experienced from reacting to everyone else’s behavior simply didn’t exist unless I allowed them to. It is a great power to have back in my hands, control. This power comes with accountability though. In having the power to choose my feelings I still had bad days. I’d catch myself slipping back and blaming the jerk who cut me off in traffic for sending me into rage and I had to push myself to be aware and take accountability for how I feel.

Don’t waste another day living in the passenger’s seat, own your emotions and know that you are the only one that can make you feel anything. You are unique with your own perspective that is just as valuable as anyone else’s.

 

Abby

Abby Wickersheim is a life coach on the No Limits Life team.  Her focus is working with people to align their personal energetic vibration with the vibration of what they truly want to create.  She uses her personal coaching program “Positive on Purpose” to guide people from frustrated and blocked to open and positive. Learn more at www.nolimitslife.guru

 

ex·pec·ta·tion

Expectation is defined as a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

Often on autopilot, we move through our days with expectations of what will occur, not realizing that those expectations are helping to create and manifest future events. If you have a favorite restaurant chances are you go there because you had a good past experience and you expect it to be good again. If you make a commute to a regular place like school or work you often take the same route because you expect it to be the fastest or easiest route to take.

When you expect something to happen, good or bad, you are tuning yourself to that vibrational frequency and the law of attraction gets to work to make sure that happens.

Let’s say you know that you have a meeting with your boss next week about a missed deadline. You spend time each day thinking about what will happen and you eventually settle on the fact that it’s going to be bad. After all, you missed a deadline so how could anything good come out of that? If you’re like most people you’ll even run through the conversation in your head at least a dozen times before the actual meeting – you expect this conversation to go a certain way and in this scenario it’s bad. You finally have your meeting and no surprise it was terrible. Exactly what you thought was going to happen did and the conversation went exactly as you planned in your head.

Two things are important to note from this example:

  1. Your expectation of what was going to happen and the repeated thoughts
  2. Feelings that came with your focus of that expectation

You expected to get in trouble because you missed a deadline. Perhaps this expectation was because of past experiences or it came from observing others go through the same thing. Your expectation had its own vibration and you continually practiced that vibration when you thought about it and played through the conversation in your head. Each time you thought about it you felt bad further tuning yourself to that vibration and by the law of attraction that is what was brought to you.

Your past experiences and current expectations don’t have to dictate your future experiences. You don’t have to create your life by default and continually experience the same crud you don’t want to experience.

Making the change to conscious creator starts with acknowledging that you do create your future and making the decision to participate in that creation. Bottom line, EXPECT SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Why do most heart attacks happen on Mondays? Because we’ve decided that Mondays suck and we dread them. Ever have a case of the Mondays?!

There is no magic bullet, it’s going to take continual awareness and you’ll catch yourself sliding back into old thought patterns and that’s ok. When you realize what you’re doing stop and steer yourself in the direction you want to be headed.

The next time you have a meeting with your boss, what could happen if you expect it to go well? What could happen if you change the conversation in your head? With a little practice, amazing things happen when you start to expect great things.

 

What’s the Law of Attraction really about?

from No Limits Life Team member,  Abby Wickersheim

Thoughts become things… that’s simple enough right?

Follow that mantra, manage your thoughts and you’re well on your way to living a lifestyle of the rich and famous. That was a revolutionary concept nearly a decade ago when The Secret was first released by Rhonda Byrnes. Her audience reached a global level as she shared the secret to it all, the law of attraction and positive thinking.

Like many of us do I was searching to find the key to it all, why was I frustrated and unhappy while others seemed to have it all? I watched with envy and jealously at those around me succeeding and it pissed me off enough to do something about it. I was 21 years old and new to the self-help world when my former boss gave me the DVD. I’ll admit I was expecting something so profound by the cover and title, it seemed to portray the masses being held down by the 1% and I certainly wasn’t a part of the 1%. When I finished the DVD I was excited about how easy it seemed, usually at the end of something like that there’s a sales pitch with a hefty price tag. You can get these great results IF you buy xyz and only IF.

abby law of attraction blog photo

The Secret offered relief and control over my own life. It goes on to cover the Law of Attraction – like attracts like – if you’re in a pissy mood you’ll attract pissy circumstances. It also covers your thoughts essentially setting your attraction point.

If you think negative thoughts over and over you’re going to get negative people and circumstances in your life.

The egoic brain likes to pumps thousands of negative thoughts a day and it becomes impossible to fight against them. Soon I found myself feeling bad when I had those negative thoughts. I’m smart enough to know now that those thoughts are bringing me the very things I don’t want and yet I can’t stop them from coming. I did begin to see results though, while the negative thoughts were present I was increasing the number of positive thoughts than I had before.

While things got better, it wasn’t quite the level of action that I wanted to see. That’s when I came across author, coach and self-proclaimed bullshit fairy Melody Fletcher who threw some serious knowledge on me. In her book Deliberate Receiving she explains the crucial missing piece to creation and manifestations – emotions.

She explains that it’s not necessarily about what you think but rather how you feel that is setting your vibrational point of attraction. When you use your emotion as your guidance system you can start to move yourself from the “negative emotions” into the more positive ones. She explains that all emotions have purpose and that purpose is to show us our vibrational point of attraction. Our perception of emotions are what makes them seem negative but there truly are no negative ones. Tuning into your emotions gives you the power back to get the results you want in your world. Let’s say you want that shiny new car, you REALLY want it. Notice the feelings that come up when you think about the new car. Does your attention immediately go to the hunk of junk up currently have that keeps breaking down? And how does it feel when that comes up? Probably not so good, so while you’re down in those yucky feelings it’s going to be pretty challenging for that new car to come your way.

Deliberate Receiving not only comes with the knowledge, but it also comes with tools to make shit happen. If you want a no bullshit guide to understanding and implementing the law of attraction in your life this is the one for you!

Read the book? Share your thoughts below!

Abby

Abby Wikersheim is a Life Coach on the No Limits Life Team who knows that your thinking can change your life.  Learn more about Abby and the No Limits Life Team at http://www.nolimitslife.guru