WHAT DO YOU GAF ABOUT?

WARNING: I am going to say the F word in this email.  If this offends you, please stop reading.  We are probably not compatible at this point. I appreciate you, who are you are and your boundaries – stay strong with them.  Me, I say the F word and I am cool with it.

WHAT DO YOU GAF ABOUT?

Super popular term these days right?  What do you give a f#$k about?

My partner has a t-shirt from our local co-op that says Local AF set against a picture of the state we live in.  Not our home state, but the state we live in.  It symbolizes where we get our food from.  Because, we GAF about our food.

We toss this phrase around a lot lately…and like so many, it has become diluted.  Because to truly GAF about something is significant.

I mean we only have space for so many fucks to be given in our world before the fucks we give become too many.

HOW MANY THINGS IN YOUR WORLD ARE YOU GIVING A FUCK ABOUT THAT YOU NEED TO STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT?

Where do you really need to and want to invest your fucks?

I recently read “The life changing magic of not giving a f*ck” by Sarah Knight and loved every word. Totally recommend you read it.  Her approach is similar to what I developed in aligning priorities – the tool I crated to help people focus on what matters most to them in creating life they love.

It is similar in that the focus is on doing what you want to do, not what you think you should do.  There is a HUGE difference in doing what you want to do over what you think you should do when it comes to energy investment aka fuck investment.

I particularly love the idea of a fuck budget:  setting up a number you have to give and when they are all gone…sorry fellas, no fucks here.

Love that.

I sped through the book, eating up the words and concepts and it felt instantly at home in my psyche.  In part because I already philosophically aligned 100% and in part because I needed to read it in that way to go even deeper with the energy.  Maybe you do too: get your copy here from amazon, or check your local library.

MORE SIGNIFICANTLY, IT INSPIRED THE UPCOMING FREE CHALLENGE I AM OFFERING IN MY ART OF LIVING DANGEROUSLY FACEBOOK COMMUNITY: 

Free to Focus (on the f#$ you WANT to give). It kicks off 23 October and is 5 days of sorting through your fucks and where you want to allocate and invest in them, thereby bringing your focus to the stuff you truly care about!

Each day will have a theme and those that post daily will be entered to win fabulous prizes!

Signing on via the link below will provide you exclusive access to the video and email series that goes even deeper in to each of the topics for the challenge (and it serves as week 1 of the Motivated for More 13-week EOY/BOY program that helps to finish on top and start even higher as we transition years)

READY TO JOIN? CLICK HERE TO GO ALL IN  ON THE CHALLENGE!

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at www.nolimitslife.guru

 

I’M SO OVER…EVERYONE…

My inner bitch goes on a rampage sometimes, and it’s kinda fun. Seriously, if you could hear my inner dialogue at times, you would seriously wonder if I even like people.

 

The answer is sometimes.

 

But sometimes, I am so over everyone…I just can’t.

 

I can’t listen to one more story of learned helplessness.

 

I can’t deal with one more poor me my Mercedes is dirty rant.

 

I can’t watch one more beneficiary of privilege bemoaning the state of the world while sipping a double non-fat, no whip pumpkin spice whatever. (And I don’t even get the whole pumpkin spice fascination, I mean I love pumpkin but for reals with the obsession??)

 

And I can’t deal with fall lovers and pumpkins on front porches in mid-September (dude, it’s 95 degrees, that shit is going to rot!).

 

Yes, this all goes through my head.

 

We all have these moments, or days, or even weeks.  And I think it’s okay.  It’s okay to be cynical and snarky and indulge your inner bitch (even if you are a dude) from time to time.

 

You are human, it’s okay.  You aren’t any less spiritual than anyone else.  You aren’t an uncaring person and you don’t have to beat yourself up for years and days and go see a spiritual guru to heal you.  You need to admit you are human.

 

Now, if this way of thinking begins to dominate you, begins to be your decision maker and makes you intolerant of people, situations and ideas around you on a large scale you might need to seek help.  You might need to get some perspective from a healer, coach or a therapist.  Sometimes, we just get some wires crossed in our lives and need a little help uncrossing them.

 

I am a healer and a coach.  I work with people sometimes who have created this trap for themselves – the I am so over everyone mindset that has taken root. I usually use a combination of healing and coaching to unburden the mind, body and soul from whatever has taken root there and let the person see with fresh eyes and enable the resilience within them to make the shift into the optimal life they are capable of living. In many cases, this is the first step in coaching with someone – to free them from their own cage.

 

Which are you?  In a moment of snark and indulging your inner bitch, or in need of fresh perspective and ways to break free of the cage you constructed around yourself?

 

Apply for a Lackluster to Limitless Session with me if you find yourself in the cage – I can help you jailbreak!

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

Break Away From the Group

Yesterday I took my son to Maquoketa Caves State Park. It is what it sounds like: caves in a park. And it’s awesome.
 
While there we saw a lot of things I could write about which promote conformity and crush, absolutely crush freedom. I could be disheartened by a few of the things I saw, instead let’s reflect.
 
A daycare group was there at the same time. The canyon rang with not the sounds of nature, but the sounds of daycare providers wrangling their charges.
 
“Don’t climb on that”
“Stay on the path”
“be quiet” (what?)
“Not so fast”
 
and my favorite “You’ll get dirty, stop that.”
 
Strip away the safety concerns. I get those and as a mom whose kid has been in daycare, appreciate them.
 
Children + Park = so much experience to be had.
 
Yet time and again they were reigned in, curiosity squashed, interaction terminated and opportunity to immerse in what their bodies and souls were craving crushed.
 
Meanwhile, my same aged son is terrifying me with his daredevil perches on out-croppings. We engage fully with wet muddy shoes and body and sprints down trails to the next adventure.
 
We played hop rock in the creek at one point and came across a fawn serenely grazing 6 feet from us. We watched in wonder for about 20 minutes outlasting any group that joined us during that time.
 
Several times we found ourselves alone in a cave or on a trail simply being as we felt and tuned in to the amazing earth and water energy surrounding us.
 
I have no interest in curbing enthusiasm. I have zero energy for “stay in line” outside of a real safety concern.
 
What those kids experienced yesterday happens every day to all ages: the idea that you have to stay with the group and do what the group is doing and don’t dare to explore your own path – it’s dangerous and you may do something the rest of the group isn’t ready for.
 
But maybe you are ready to do something dangerous.
 
If it’s time to unleash your inner warrior and get dangerous,
I have something for you.
 
It’s the five week warrior club. Info session is Sunday at 5pm. I’ll share the 5 key tenets of freedom as I teach them and gift you a guide and video series as part of the webinar.
 
I’ll also tell you about the club and how it could impact you and your quest for freedom.
 
Don’t be those kids all grown up and your daycare provider simultaneously. Stop telling yourself to stay in line and stop allowing others to tell you that. Start being dangerous: be you.
 
Interested? register here: http://eepurl.com/cZbvZL
photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created.

My background is 10 years in the US Army as an officer, 10 years in Corporate America and then the last 6 running my own business. I have deployed twice in combat scenarios, worked with foreign governments and militaries and worked extensively in international business.  I have an undergraduate in Criminology, an MBA and certification in Positive Psychology. I have led organizations from 3-400 and love developing people and helping them create their next steps in life and work. 

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well we a working glass artist, Reiki Master,  Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10 year old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. 

Photo by Benjamin Combs on Unsplash

How is Your Health?

In the year preceding my departure from my last corporate job I had walking pneumonia 5 times.  Once it even came with a bonus kicker of whooping cough.  Steroids, antibiotics and over the counter remedies did nothing to stop it.  Days of working from home, long naps and attempting to power through it made no difference.  I was chronically tired, chronically sniffling, chronically coughing after every word I spoke.  I had put on weight.

In the prior 3 years I had been diagnosed with allergies, GERD, Arthritis, Migraines, more than a few bouts of bronchitis and sinus infections as well as the rarest form of asthma.

I kept thinking…wow, is this really what it’s like to be human?  

Around me I saw the same things happening.  To be sick seemed to be the latest fashion trend.  Everybody I knew seemed to be on something for something. Showing up to work sick was done with a sense of pride, “I’m so dedicated and valuable here I can’t possibly stay home.”

“Seriously, there has to be more.” I remember thinking.

There was.

Recently my Yoga Instructor reminded me of all this.  She looked at me in class and said, “we have been doing this about 10 years and you haven’t aged.”  We talked about why and I am going to share my suspicions with you here. I perceive 3 primary actions driving this outcome:

  1. I changed my diet.

My cravings were for fresher foods, more organic flavors and higher quality. I gave in to them.  I began to buy fresh, local and organic.  Even when my budget became the tightest it ever was, I stuck with it. I found I need less volume when the quality is higher – go figure.

My weight dropped and my stomach issues cleared up almost immediately.  Increasing water helped my headaches begin to fade and my ache from arthritis dissipate. As time went on I found that eating processed foods had an immediate and sever impact on my body:  skin rashes, stomach aches and more.

My diet was a huge step to take in feeling better about my life.

  1. I changed where I spent my energies.

Mentally I had to get straight on what mattered. I developed an exercise called aligning priorities and put it to work for me.  Using it I became very focused on spending resources on what I valued most and saying no to the things misaligned.

What followed was an increase in opportunity to engage with my dreams.  The opportunity to open my business presented itself, I took it.  Changes needed in my relationships became obvious and I made them.  Expired affiliations and loyalties were retired and lower vibration options just went away.

This alignment of energies gave me clear path to yes or no in my life.  Today I ask, “will this get me closer or further away from what I want to do?” as the gatekeeper question.

  1. I changed how I heal myself.

How I heal myself today addresses my entire system.  Rather than running to a doctor for each discomfort, I explore my life holistically. I never seemed to have an easy illness for a doctor anyway.  There was never a “oh you have this” response.  It was always, “well it could be several things”.  Now I know why: my illnesses weren’t just a bug – they were connected on all levels.

Today I work with a holistic chiropractor, Dr. Karly Abel, and view my health primarily through natural and spiritual means.  I consult with healers periodically and go the VA for my annual physical.  In the last 3 years I have had to consult a General Physician once for an illness I could not contain.  It was walking pneumonia.  Rather than just taking the antibiotics and waiting for a cure, I also took stock of my life and found other areas needing to be addressed.

I believe our bodies talk to us about our life choices.  They will tell us when we are off track – the same way our intuition speaks to us.  Therefore, we need to heal not only the physical symptoms, but the emotional and spiritual as well.

Do you recognize yourself in any of this?

Is doing exactly what I do right for you?  Maybe.  Is some degree of it?  Definitely. 

Your diet and how much water you drink is a fundamental building block – your body uses what you put in it – wouldn’t you like it to be the absolute best Mother Nature can create? Fuel yourself with high quality and you body will return high quality energy and output.

Focus your energies on what is most important to you and those things will flourish.  Spend time on the things you value most and you will feel most connected to them.  Feeling connected to those things will inspire you to live in alignment with your purpose and in turn you will feel more freedom.  Your sense of conflict will diminish as you know what you can say yes to and what to turn down.

How you heal matters – we are multi-dimensional.  Treating only one dimension just seems ludicrous. If I ignore a spiritual or emotional pain long enough, it will show up physically.  I bet yours does too.

What is your health currently telling you?  Are you trying diet plan after diet plan?  Are you on a closet full of prescription meds? Are you always hungry and always eating?  Are you shoving emotions down faster than a bag of French Fries? Chances are it goes deeper than conventional methods would explain.

Rebel.  Explore other means. Try a new approach if what you have been doing isn’t working.

The answer to how I haven’t aged in my Yoga Instructors eyes in 10 years is in living a lifestyle I love.  It is encompassing of healthy supportive food, people I love, a career that inspires me and a sense of completeness.  This lifestyle is more than professional success, it’s my entire life of success as I have chosen to define it.

YOU can find this too – you can be the person receiving your ultimate compliment.  You can be the person former acquaintances don’t even recognize and look at in wonder. It is possible for you.

Your challenge:

It’s time to define what lifestyle success means to you – how do you define it? Email me at jennifer@nolimitslife.guru and let me know. I’d love to hear your definition!

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

I am Jennifer Murphy, a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created.

Apply for a Lackluster to Limitless Energizer Session if you are ready for more independence, freedom and sense of living your real life than you have ever had before. 

 

 

 

 

 

So Over “New Year, New You”

Seriously, screw it.  Why do you need to be a new you?

If you feel the compulsion to be different, maybe it’s because you aren’t being the REAL you right now.  Ouch.

Every single time I hear a phrase like that – which admittedly I haven’t heard as much as we close out 2016 – I want to puke.  There is nothing wrong with the REAL YOU.  The problem may be that you aren’t being the REAL YOU.  Okay, I will stop capitalizing it – you don’t need to be yelled at anymore…you heard me right?

The Real You is that energy within that is absolutely BEGGING to be let out to play.  It is the energy that craves something different that what you are doing with your life.  This energy wants to: 

  • start a business
  • go back to school
  • create art
  • write
  • find a true partner
  • love waking up for their life every day
  • shed the feeling of overwhelm every single day as they race around trying to please everyone but themselves
  • go on a spiritual retreat
  • connect with an animal
  • and on and on….

What is your spirit calling you to explore? 

As I shake off the stifling energies of the past time period I feel called to be the wild, sensuous, adventurous woman I truly am.  I feel called to stop hiding, to get exposed and to be unrepentant in my call to arms to the battle for the life you deserve, not the one you are subjugated into living.   My REAL ME (this is a passion yell) is a warrior, adventure and explorer.  I advocate when you are unsure of how to do it yourself.  And I teach you how.

This amazing TED video a friend shared last night on Facebook called to these energies within – it is a bit graphic at times, so I will warn those of you with more delicate constitutions.

You don’t have to be me, and your call isn’t the same.  But you have one.

If your life feels like pants one size too small then chances are you are not being Real You.

I beg you to invite Real You out to play tonight, tomorrow and all the days that follow.  

I recognize this isn’t easy.  If it were easy you’d have never succumbed to expectations in the first place.  YOU are worth the battle, the investment, the shift – whatever you want to call it.   

Your Challenge: 

Grab your journal and spend some time writing about your absolute ideal life – free of any limitations you feel in  your current life.  Write until you feel that buzz of anticipation, like you can’t wait to taste it.

Review what you wrote, make additions.

Pick one thing from that vision and do it now.  Bring it into your life.  One tiny thing.

dfcaxbf-p4g-morre-christopheThis might feel scary – when I did this, I was terrified because what I wanted was so incredibly different than what I had, I could hardly imagine how it was possible.  But I started with the purchase of white sheets and within 24 months my life was my ideal and then I got to keep stretching myself.

Find your white sheets. Invite them into your world, then the next thing and keep taking action to build the life you crave.

REAL YOU will thank you.  

 

 

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

Aside

Are you Denying Your Love?

Do you have anything you LOVE to do and don’t?  Something you wish you could make time for and don’t?   You have lots of reasons why: work is busy, family is busy, you are tired, it’s expensive, you have to drive too far to do it, you don’t have the right supplies, the list could go on and on if I include all of the excuses I have heard from clients as to why they don’t do the things they love.

In those cases we are trading our soul for…what? 

In some cases, we can temporarily justify it.  We need to focus on our newborn children, a particularly demanding project at work, a family or financial crisis.  But those situations are temporary.  We trade our soul when we allow addiction to those short bursts of stress and they become habitual and then begin to feel easier than actually pursuing what we love. 

NOTE: If what you love is the constant drama of crisis, we aren’t going to go there. Go away, I don’t need that kind of crazy in my world – and truth be told, neither do you.

On my mind lately has been my love of writing.  I love to write, love it.  Loved it since I was a child; starting my first “dear diary” entry around 3rd grade.  So why do I deny it?

I can pull any number of excuses from the list above and tell you why they’d work for me in case against writing. But that is all they are, excuses; and you know what they say excuses are like…

My commitment to me right now is to release the limits of excuses today.  I’m embracing my love of writing now.

Your Living Dangerously Challenge: 

I challenge you to consider what you love and deny yourself.  Go through your excuses one by one and ask yourself when they expire. Be bold, write them down and give them an expiration date.  Celebrate their expiration and launch yourself into your love with abandon.

Release Limits, Embrace Life, Live Dangerously

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

 

 

 

How do you Define Living Dangerously?

 Take a moment and consider what feels most dangerous to you: is it physical, spiritual, intellectual or emotional in nature?

Conventional wisdom would suggest all kinds of radical options.  As I have asked this question in workshops and discussions I have heard a few!   Things like:

skydiving

motorcycle racing

speaking in public

falling in love

climbing a mountain

swimming with sharks

parenting (that got a good giggle)

 

There were a ton of other physical risks that have come up in response to this question.  And yes, these things are risky…but if you notice, most people head right for the physical risks with the exception of falling in love.

These are easy answers – pick something with the potential to inflict bodily harm and we can all agree that it is dangerous.   Right?

Yes.

There is another way to think about it though and that is what I want to focus on.

The Art of Living Dangerously creates the path to you skydiving, moto title winning or swimming with sharks. This path fires your emotional, intellectual and spiritual body – more than your physical.   What if we think about living dangerously in these terms:

  • Being afraid and doing it anyway
  • Knowing there is more and going for it
  • Trying new things – taking the leap
  • Seeing new perspectives
  • Experiencing instead of Existing
  • Living by your values
  • Never settling
  • Transcending expectations
  • Having faith in limitless possibilities

Imagine you lived in opposition to any of those thoughts…let’s take “Having faith in limitless possibilities” first.  What would it mean if you have faith in limitless possibilities?  Consider an area of your life you feel stuck or trapped in, it could be anything from a relationship, a job, a volunteer commitment or a belief.

For example when I was wanting to become a life coach, I was very locked into the idea that I couldn’t leave my 6 figure job and the obligations it had created or my life would fall apart.  There were a lot of trapped and stuck attachments there:

  1. I had accumulated debt directly correlated to the amount of money I had: cars, houses, lines of credit, etc.
  2. I did enjoy my job and did well at it. I loved the people I worked with and generally enjoyed seeing them.  Yet I didn’t feel inspired by my job, I didn’t see how my role was really serving others in the way I wanted to.
  3. I had an idea of what people expected me to be and I was fearful of disappointing them.
  4. My family had become accustomed to my salary, my schedule and my life the way it impacted them; and I couldn’t let them be affected by my desires – they needed to always take first priority.

When my life coach suggested that it was possible for me to create the life I wanted if I dedicated myself to figuring out what it was, I resisted at first.  I was so focused on the narrow range of options I had decided were available that it was a good year of coaching with her before I was able to really open up to all of the things that could be if I allowed them into my life.

I had to do a few things to move past my self-created opposition to possibilities:

  1. I had to decide what an ideal day for me would look like.
  2. Sorting out what was important and what wasn’t to me then taking action to get free of what wasn’t.
  3. Realign my time to support what I wanted instead of what I felt like I “should be” doing.
  4. Starting to create that Ideal by pulling elements from it into the life I was living then.

On a daily basis I would ask myself “is this getting me closer or farther away from the life I truly want?” as I encountered challenges and opportunities.

I learned that not everything is worth the fight.

Over the next few weeks I will be tackling each of those Living Dangerously ideas as I prepare for my 2016 Art of Living Dangerously Creation Experience here in Cedar Rapids Iowa on September 9th and 10th.  You can take a look at the agenda here and then grab early bird registration before August 15th.

I hope you’ll stay tuned to this blog and follow the steps to both the idea of living dangerously and the way I overcame my opposition to it!

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru