One Rule to Never Violate


Don’t violate it.  It is yours to honor and apply to your life, your conduct and your actions.

It fuels your energy, your actions and your interactions with others.

So tonight when I got an email from a fellow business owner, I realized why I had been experiencing an inner cringe all day.

I pride myself on just being up front.  Being direct has always felt more comfortable to me than not.  It hasn’t always been the easier path, but it has been the truer path.  It has felt more authentic to me.

In my blog yesterday, I called out a couple of coffee shops I frequent and contrasted my experience with them.  I don’t deny the experiences, they happen.

But, I violated my own sense of integrity in the process.  And rightly so, one of the coffee shop owners called me on it.  And I am glad!

I am glad to receive the opportunity to be better, to look at myself with an honest eye and say “you screwed up, now you get to grow from it and fix it.”

My better, normal self would have contacted him and described the routine issues I was seeing and experiencing and let him deal with them as he saw fit – so why didn’t I?

In all honesty, it was because I was feeling petty and crabby.  And I wrote that portion of my blog in a bit of a snit.

I share this because I think we all do it.  I think we all have had those moments when we lash out at others, or gripe about situations.  In those moments we aren’t looking for resolution or healing, we are looking for reaction or to share the negative emotion we are holding on to.  It can manifest in lots of ways: we criticize, gossip, second guess, judge and or just get a little nasty about something.

We act without integrity. It makes us do that inner cringe thing when we think of it and we don’t like it. It doesn’t mean we lack integrity as a person, but if we are ruthless in our analysis, we can all find those moments where we were not our best.

In his book The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz says to Be Impeccable with your word.  Say only what you truly mean and be honest and true to your truth.  When we allow ourselves to react instead of responding to situations, we are not necessarily impeccable with our word, we are not acting in integrity.

I agreed to a meeting with the coffee house owner, gladly.  And I will apologize in person for my indiscretion because that is the path of integrity.  I won’t settle for less from myself and will always clean up what I can when I am not all in the right.

In my 13 principles of The Art of Living Dangerously, Principle 6 is to know your story.  It means to know and become intimate with where your reactions come from, to know who you are, where you come from and how it has shaped you.

As I reflect on this situation, I am forced to look at where my “snit”came from and why I let it out the way I did.

In-authenticity is a hot button for me and when I perceive others to be doing something because it looks good rather than it actually being good, it irritates me.  I have been a hard worker my entire life and believe that if you are going to do something, do it right – fully commit and be the best you can possibly be at whatever it is. I also know not everyone does this.

Growing up I encountered situations where others didn’t do that and it hurt my life, it hurt my existence in ways that created scars that I have had to confront in my own healing processes as I acquainted myself with my story.

I don’t believe in excuses. In fact once you put the effort into knowing your story, you have fewer reasons to excuse your behavior because you have committed to understanding yourself more fully. So I do my best to remain vigilant when these buttons get pushed because the reaction usually points back to me at least two fold, if not more.

In this instance, I have no issue or reservation whatsoever in saying I was not entirely in the right.  In this instance, I can be honest and know that being more more natural direct self is the better path, as always.

I encourage you to take a look at a time in your life recently where you may have acted with less courage, honesty and authenticity than you know your true self desires.  Honor it and resolve it so that you don’t do that inner cringe thing every time you think of it!

Have You Heard about The Art of Living Dangerously?

A few years back I started something I didn’t yet have a name for and I didn’t care to name.  It was referred to generically as my new life. I have since learned that I was learning the Art of Living Dangerously.  And I want to share it with anyone who is looking for a new direction in life, the how for their big vision, or know that there is just something more for them and really truly want to figure out what that is and how to get it.

I have been there, I get it and I want to partner with you to move through it and start being the person you know you are.

 What if you enrolled in an un-program?

An experience specifically created to expose you to a wide variety of techniques and approaches where you can choose what works and ignore the rest.  What if you had an experience that assumed you were smart enough to apply what you need most or at least be willing to try?

The Art of Living Dangerously is that Un-program.

It is about experiencing tools and techniques and then using them to create the life you want. That’s right, this is about the life you want to create –nothing less.

I’ll partner with you to confront the limiting beliefs you hold inside blocking you from stepping into the life you intellectually know and understand you can have, but are not sure how to achieve.

Whether you know what you want and are not sure how to get there or you fall into the other category of not knowing what you want, but ready to do what it takes to find it and be it, The Art of Living Dangerously experience will co-create it.

Allow me to be upfront with you – it is an investment.  You’ll need to truly commit to this creative process and it requires a correlating resource investment.  So yes, as I have done with my coaches over the years, you also need to put your most precious resources of time, money and energy on the line for yourself.

Feeling brave and ready to take the deep breath and the step?

Go ahead and click on this link to learn more about the program and the investment and how to see if you are a candidate for one of the first five people I am willing to run this program with.

This is new, I don’t have it on my website yet, you can only get information via this link.  If it isn’t for you, cool. But if you know someone it is for – share it.

Other ways to learn more about The Art of Living Dangerously:

1. Sign on for my monthly virtual series where each month I will share a tool, technique or interview about the Art of Living Dangerously.  Do that here

2. Follow my Blog

3. Follow me on Social Media: on my website, click the links at the top of the page (or here’s a hint: they are in my bio at the bottom of this note!)

4. Schedule a Confusion to Clarity Strategy Session and get 30 minutes of my undivided attention for zero of your dollars.

5. Stop by my website and grab the complimentary tools I have for you to explore.  More are coming in the next few weeks!

6. If you are in the Cedar Rapids Iowa Area, join me for a workshop I am hosting at Illuminations Healing Arts Center on May 18 from 6:30 -8:30p for a mere $25 per person.  Register by clicking over to their website then click on scheduling.

177Jennifer Murphy is the universe’s foremost proponent of The Art of Living Dangerously sharing it through her partnerships with people who want to live as themselves, her glass art, writing and single parenting a pretty amazing 8 year old soccer player.

Headlines For Articles I am Compelled to Write

How many times have you come across a situation, whether you are enmeshed in it or not, and thought “wow, that would be a great blog/tweet/Facebook post/whatever” .

My partner and I do this all the time.  Most of the time, the thoughts go no further than our exchanges and we decide not to post them out of respect for the situation/person/ experience.

But there are a few that we have been developing lately that simply must be written.

Here are a few:

“When one door closes, another one opens”…and other spiritual platitudes that suck.

How your alter ego is definitely not a much cooler version of you – you are simply delusional

 500 million ways it is way more important to eat good food than look cool shopping for it

Your coffee sucks, fix it

Yes, ironing everything in your closet will solve your problems

Awake with the Rain

Dumb people have Data too

We have broken the Coca-Cola code

Just stop everything you are doing and try again

15 superficial indicators that you are completely fake

Your 24 hours are just as important as mine…and vice versa

There are 365 shopping days in a year, what are you shopping for? 

 5 Ways Healing Work alone won’t solve your issues

At their core, all of these articles are about knowing your own story. When you know own story, you are able to consciously process why you are reacting the way that you are to a given situation.

“Know Your Story” is principle number 6 of the 13 Principles of the Art of Living Dangerously that I recently developed and am expanding into a e-book followed by a full length book now.  The Art of Living Dangerously is a lifestyle philosophy centered on releasing the “expected life” and living the life you feel called to live.

I look forward to sharing more with you. And if any of these titles call to you – chime in and I will get going on it!

Jennifer Murphy is the universe’s foremost promoter of The Art of Living Dangerously, a lifestyle centered approach to pursuing your purpose and releasing the “expectations” of anything but your truth.  She personifies this in her partnering with others who want to walk this path, her work as a glass artist and her writing as she parents the most phenomenal 8 year old soccer player in the universe.