The Complaint I hear Most

The single most common complaint I hear is:      

“I feel like all I do is work”

Or the family person version:

“All I do is work and do things with the family”

What they are really saying is they feel less than fulfilled.  They feel there is more out there.  They feel bored and want more.

Many aren’t sure what they’d do if they could do anything else.  Some have a clear picture of exactly what they’d do.

In both cases, as soon as the possibility of more is approached, resistance flies up like a barricade at a court house parking entry.

Basically, we aren’t happy with what is happening, but when the chance to change pops up, we feel like we can’t.  Pretty messed up right?

About a year ago, I was talking with a former colleague and she was sharing a dream of a business that embraced one of her passions.  As she spoke, she was glowing, literally glowing.  She had the whole idea mapped in her head and described it in such amazing detail that I could see it.  It is a gorgeous idea and she is perfect for it.

Tapping in to her excitement, I asked if she had thought about location.  She had and went on to describe it.

I pushed a little further and asked when.

The reasons why she couldn’t then came tumbling out: obligation to her mortgage, her corporate career, jeopardizing her retirement, her husband’s expectations and the belief that she just couldn’t.

This is a very common story.

The successful professional who wants more, but can’t seem to have it.  The more isn’t always a business idea.  Sometimes it is a desire to be able to sit down and relax at night – without the stress of work preying on them.  It is the desire for a life outside of work that is fun, filled with good friends and experiences that enrich their life, leaving them energized to go to a job they can love more fully since the rest of life is pretty awesome.

When I was hired at my last corporate job, one of the reasons I took the job was something my hiring manager said: “I believe in working to live, not living to work.” For as long as I worked for her, she lived by this.  She was supportive to her team in this philosophy in a corporate environment that didn’t always agree with her on that thought. Despite this awesome environment, I still found myself living to work.

In my years of working in large organizations, as a leader in the US Army and then again in corporate America, I observed three reasons we feel this “all I do is work” feeling:

  1. Society tells us this is the right thing to do, everyone else is so we follow along.
  2. We agree to focus on work temporarily for a big project or busy time then…it never ends and becomes routine.
  3. We never saw a different way: this was what our parents or mentors did, what we perceived was right and we followed the example of those we admired and loved.

 

All three impacted my life.  All three shaped the definition of success I pursued which was aligned primarily around a solid career.  If it enabled some cool stuff in the rest of my life that was great – I saw it as a bonus.

If this is you, you can shift this. 

One day I decided to listen to that calling from within asking for “more”.  Not knowing what “more” was for me, I engaged a life coach who helped me figure it out.  I moved away from living to work and having a life that had a successful career to living a successful life where I have a job I love. I feel the fullness of a lifestyle that supports my continued experience in this world – the experience I get to create anew each day.

How I shifted it:

  1. Engaging help – I got mine from a life coach, like me.
  2. Being open to possibilities and willing to change somethings in my life.
  3. Acknowledging that the life I was living wasn’t my dream life and taking the time to develop the picture of what I wanted.
  4. Taking immediate action to start living that life I wanted.
  5. Continuing to act, even when it was hard.

You can do this too. Are you ready to move beyond the complaint?

Start now.  If you need help, apply for my lackluster to limitless energizer session and we will spend an hour on your plan.

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 amHi, I am Jennifer Murphy.  I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives – the ones that include work, but aren’t entirely work.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created.

 

 

“I Know” is Not Enough

Life hasn’t been going well lately. You know it’s time for a change. You know that of all the changes you could make, one stands out above the rest.

You know what you’re supposed to do, right?

And there’s the problem.

The problem is that you already know what to do to maximize your happiness, increase your joy, and live in the power of purpose, and knowing and doing are two entirely different things. After all, there are goals to set, plans to make, and alternatives to consider, and all of it is quite overwhelming.

Or is it?

I’ve got two vitally important things for you to consider.

First, knowing isn’t everything. In fact, it’s NOTHING.

The biggest problem we have is telling ourselves that grand old lie, “I know.” When someone – a friend, coach, adviser, or trusted confidant – tells us what we would do well to do, we respond with, “I know.”

And we’re telling the truth. We really do know. Well…we think we know.

The truth is that knowing is not about what’s going on in your brain. It’s not even about what’s going on in your thoughts.

You see, knowing means that you are doing, pure and simple. If you are living the way you want to be living, then you know that way of life. If you’re not living it, then you don’t know it.

Simple, right?

So if you know what you’re supposed to do, why aren’t you doing it? What’s getting in the way?

That gets to the second point. The biggest obstacle to knowing is your own mind.

Your mind is a treasure trove of thoughts, experiences, judgments and ideas. Everything you have ever experienced, everything you have ever done, and everything you have ever accepted as true, are all stored in your mind. Some of these are wonderful and helpful, while others are less than desirable for your life.

And some of them are flat out wrong.

When was the last time you actually sorted out your thoughts, to see which ones are helping you, which ones are getting in the way, and which ones are total lies? It’s definitely something to consider!

Here’s a quick and enlightening exercise to try: 

Find a quiet place, and simply sit for ten minutes – that’s all! – and watch your thoughts. No phone, no computer, no interruptions. Just you and your thoughts. Notice what you are thinking. Notice where they came from…or who they came from. Then notice whether they are helpful are not

Then realize that you can actually choose to get rid of the thoughts you don’t want. You can actually delete thoughts that no longer serve you, and replace them with thoughts that actually help you become who you truly are (not who people have told you who you are).

Yes, it’s a complicated road. It does seem overwhelming. But it isn’t.

No, you can’t do it alone. This is your LIFE, not a do-it-yourself project.

We humans live in communities for a reason: no one can get through this life alone. We exist to help each other let go of what binds us, and live the best life possible, using our unique abilities and gifts.

Ask Jennifer, Denny, Kari, or even me for help, so that you can get rid of those total lies in your mind, get empowered, and start proving that you know the right direction in your life by actually living it. Follow this link to start the conversation.  

When You Are Sick

It all started with a “tickle” in the back of the throat. Then came the runny nose. Pretty soon, it was a full-fledged cold.

I’m not going to get into specifics about my cold (yuck!), but I want to invite you into a little exploration of the lesson of sickness.

Don’t worry; this won’t hurt a bit.

A week doesn’t pass where I don’t answer at least a few questions from someone – a client, friend or even a relative – about how to increase their intuition. I give my usual answers (meditation, learn a system, etc.), until the one that usually makes them stop in their tracks: listen to their own body. Believe it or not, the human body is an incredible intuition alert system, and, when it comes to sickness, the body can be a living opportunity to teach us volumes about ourselves and our relationships.

My own sickness had plenty to teach me, especially about spiritual identity and the role of spiritual practices in my life.

How did I get to that realization?  Let’s back up a bit.

Sickness is a sign of something out of sync or dis-ease in the human system. Notice I said “system,” not “body.” As human beings we are a composition of body and soul together, so dis-ease is not just a body problem; it can be a soul/mind problem as well.

Now that doesn’t mean that every physical problem can be directly traced to mind/soul problem. There are books that create numerous connections between body problems and life issues. These systems are interesting, and certainly have validity in some cases, but I don’t see a 100% correlation between the two. Sometimes bodily sickness simply happens.

Regardless of whether the sickness is a sign of deeper mind/soul problems, our response to that sickness is the same: we stop. The body wants to stop. We respond to that desire by attending to the needs of the body, making sure that we get appropriate medical care, adequate rest, and proper nutrition for efficient healing.

While attending to the body, it is also important to attend to the mind/soul as well. Many times there is a lesson or two that we are being taught in our sickness, which couldn’t be learned at any other time. This is the beginning of “hermit time.”

How we use our “hermit time” in sickness is very important. There are really three ways that we can use this time. First, we could use it as “poor-me” time, bemoaning our illness, lost time at work, our own personal suffering, and finding ways to ensure that everyone around us feels our pain in as many ways as possible. As we pursue this tactic, we generally feel our illness for a considerably longer time.

Second, we could use our hermit time as “extended work time.” We could get caught up on all that extra work, start a few more projects, and fee like we’ve accomplished a great deal. Of course, we also end up feeling worse for a longer period of time.

Finally, we could use our hermit time as time to listen. After all, our bodies are finally in a holding pattern, in a sort of desert where the heart can finally speak to us without being interrupted by the next urgent task on our list.

“I want to listen,” you say, “but how?” You certainly don’t want to fall into self-delusion where your mind wanders into strange territory, and you also don’t want to miss important insights.

There are four steps to listening to the heart during your hermit time:

  1. Get quiet
  2. Ask what the lesson/problem is
  3. Listen for the answer
  4. Treat the answer as the beginning of a conversation with the heart

1. Get quiet. To get quiet, I mean really quiet. No electronic devices. No phones. No Facebook. No television, Netflix, or movies. No radios or mp3’s. No books (you thought you could get away with that one, eh?). In other words, no input from outside. Picture yourself as being stranded in a literal desert, with no connections to the outside world. You cannot hear your heart when you’re distracted by everything else around you.

2. Ask what the lesson/problem is. Ask your heart what the actual problem or lesson is that you’re supposed to learn. Keep this very simple. Your heart is the core of who you are, your True Self, that contains an immense amount of wisdom. It is also your intimate companion through life. Ask this wise friend your deepest question, expecting the perfect response.

3. Listen for the answer. When you listen for the answer, pay attention to everything: your thoughts, feelings, even your memories, as they emerge in your consciousness. As you listen, disregard the first two or three answers that come up; they are often answer from the ego, trying to derail you from the work of genuine growth. If one of those answers happens to be the important one, fear not; it will come up again in a few moments!

At this point, it is helpful to have a notebook handy for insights as you receive them. If you rely solely on your memory, you will probably forget about 30-60% of what follows. So take good notes!

4. Treat the answer as the beginning of a conversation with the heart. This is where people usually don’t go. Go off the beaten track, and explore the answer further. Start talking to your heart, and also to Source/Higher Power/God about the answer you’ve intuitively received. (Yes, this is your intuition at work!) Have a very simple, loving and honest conversation about what it means for you, and how you can apply the lessons in your life. As in the previous step, pay attention to thoughts, feelings and even memories as they emerge; they are often veiled responses in your conversation. Yes, this does take some time, but I promise you: the conversation is worth it!

The result of this process is a conversation and insights that either set you on a new path in some part of your life, or fine-tunes the path you are walking right now. Sometimes, you may even find that your sickness will last a shorter time, since the lesson has been learned.

Every sickness is an opportunity for growth. The next time you get a cold, or your body is telling you to get some rest, try the approach I’ve outlined to get the most out of it.

Don MDonMarlette(558x800)arlette is, among many other things, a member of the No Limits Life team.  His unique blend of psychic insight, mediumship and practical wisdom guide spiritual practitioners and everyday people through the perils of everyday getting by to build lives that feel like they are singing their heartsong.  Learn more at www.nolimitslifeinstitute.com

 

Upcoming Events! January 2017 Edition

Already 2017 is starting off strong for me and we aren’t even in it!  I’m pretty excited to share a few upcoming activities that you can join us with both in person and online!

January 16  Authentic Action Accountability Beta Teleclass (Kickoff) 

Join us for a 3 session Beta Program focused intensely on the accountability you need to get 2017 started in a strong way.  It’s just $30 for this initial session and if you love it, we’ll keep it going a while longer!!

Scroll down for further details on this program, or click here to register now because you know you need the support!

January 22 2-3:30pm Spiritual Dimension of Minimalism at Prairiewoods

I’ll be sharing my story of moving from success defined by external measurements of material value to true contentment based on my spiritual definition of success and we’ll discuss what that means for you. This workshop will be part lecture with lots of space for discussion. So if you are ready to expand your awareness of the sacred in everyday life, join this unique conversation! A suggested donation of $10 goes directly to Prairiewoods! Call Prairiewoods at 319-395-6700 to register**!

**I’m hoping they’ll have the online registration link up soon and I’ll update if they do!

Through January 31  Glass and Coaching 2017 Intention Setting 

A private session with me either over the phone or in person where we will set your specific intentions for the coming year, do an energy assessment and optimization and create your 2017 Energy Pendant.  This pendant will be infused with your intention for the coming year and the energy you need to embrace and support as you create your NO LIMITS 2017.  Through the end of January this session is just $100 and includes a 90 minute coaching and energy session and production and delivery of your pendant.  Register Now to get your personalized “Peace” of Inspiration for 2017  (after you submit payment I will send you a link to schedule).

Heads Up for February:  

February 8-22 Aligning Priorities at Kirkwood Continuing Education

Start feeling in control of your world and your resources in this 3 session workshop. Access the energy of empowerment as you take charge of your time, money and energy in a way that is in alignment with your priorities and sheds the conflict you experience in daily living.  With the support of  yours truly, a  Certified Personal and Executive Coach specializing in positive psychology, you will connect with techniques and energies to identify and live your optimal life.  Feel on purpose, energized and excited about your next phase of living after you complete this interactive discussion format course emphasizing energy balancing, alignment and empowerment! Click here to learn more and register via the Kirkwood Continuing Education Site

February 9-May 12 Customer Service Professional Certificate 

Training and professional certification programs for customer service representatives, call center, help desk, technical support, financial services support and administrative support professionals. Learn core knowledge and competencies on how call centers operate, including metrics, required skills and terminology. Focused study and practice on soft skills such as listening, speaking, questioning and de-escalating upset customers will be emphasized. After completing this course, successful graduates will have the certification and related experience to compete for customer service representative positions in the community. Books will be provided.

This course is perfect for you if you are looking to get back into the workforce, need additional professionalism and technical skills or are looking for a career change.

Learn More Via this link and contact Kelly Foresman (kelly.foresman@kirkwood.edu) at KPACE for more information, enrollment and potential funding assistance.

Heads up for March:

Beyond Rubies 2017

No Limits Life will be there with 3 presentations: 
Your Life Purpose in 60 minutes or Less from Don Marlette
The universe isn’t hiding your purpose – it wants you to find it and this workshop can help. Your life purpose is waiting for you to connect and Don Marlette is a master at helping you discover what has been hiding in plain sight using powerful, proven techniques.
Happy! from Jennifer Murphy
Small daily acts can improve your overall sense of happiness and engagement in what matters. You’ll self-assess, learn about dimensions of well-being and take away actions to start immediately.
Help for Self Help Overload from Jennifer Murphy 
Conquer common pitfalls in self-help: dusty book stacks, well intentioned intentions or pages of notes never revisited. Shed the mantle of “I Should” and heal yourself by engaging in simple prioritization techniques you can use anywhere.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Authentic Action Accountability Program – Beta teleclass starts January 16th 

I want to invite you as members of the No Limits Life community to participate in a Beta Program: a 3 month Authentic Action Accountability Group Coaching Program that you can join now for just $30!  I am asking you before this goes out on social media tomorrow so that you can claim your spot if this appeals to you.

I also invite you to share this with your friends if you think they might like it. A lot of people set goals for the New Year, but not every makes it past the first few weeks, let alone the first few months.  We want to help you or that friend of yours get things done in a way that works for you!

But here’s the deal, I only have 12 spots, so forward it now if you think they’d love it.

What you’ll receive:

  • Three 60-90 minute group calls focused on action planning and execution of your goals. Everyone will be given a chance to speak and gain support for their goals.
  • Six Separate emails with productivity and energy alignment activities, tips and inspirations to support your goal achievement
  • Three 30 minute sessions with one of the No Limits Life Coaches to support your development and actions.

All for $30

We’ll approach this not from just a “get it on your schedule and make it happen” perspective, also from an energetic and mindset perspective.  Sometimes you have to shed a few layers of disbelief before you can access the power that achieves goals.  This is for you if you:

  • Have ever really truly wanted to achieve a goal and been unable to, but can’t pinpoint why.
  • Know exactly what defeats you with respect to getting things done and are ready to overcome it – 2017 will be the year you own it!
  • Lose momentum after the first week of 2 of trying to adopt a new habit or push through to a new goal.
  • Are you are ready to break the cycle of doing what you have always done and getting the same results. You are ready to do something different and get different results.

Love yourself enough to invest in what you truly want in 2017.

Seriously, just $30 and we will create a space for you to share your goals, push past the real or perceive obstacles and create actions you will take before our next meeting the next month.

I have personally benefited from similar groups in progressing toward living the life I want to live. A few of the benefits I received:

  • Confidence I wasn’t alone.
  • Accountability to getting things done and support when I struggled.
  • Perspective and ideas I wouldn’t have found locked in a room alone trying to figure it out.
  • Insight and power to overcome what was holding me back.
  • Connections with people I didn’t know I needed and now rely on!

If this sounds like energy you could use to get you unstuck with your goals and move forward with creating your life’s path, then join me!

We’ll meet the third Monday of every month at 8pm CST via a dial in you’ll receive upon registration beginning January 16th, 2017. Then we will meet on February 20 and March 20 2017.
Again, this is limited to 12 people to make sure we have enough space to give you each the right amount of energy.

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

 

Monday vs. The Livable Life

A woman threw herself in front of my car a few weeks ago, on a Monday.  She was clearly having a worse day than most.  So before you complain about another Monday, another terrible Monday, consider for a moment others actually truly struggle with the concept of life itself. 

Yep, you may not like your job.  Your spouse or partner may be annoying you.  Maybe your kids even grumped at you this morning.  But the concept of life being unlivable isn’t your jam; right? 

Not wanting to live is a different kind of dread.  I felt it about 13 years ago.  It was a Friday night and I was with a group of people with a shared interest in being better humans.  As I surveyed the room, I was screaming inside for help and unable to voice it.  I can’t recall ever feeling more alone in a crowded room.

I left and didn’t know where to go or what to do.  I was new in town, had no actual friends and few acquaintances.  I had quit drinking about a little more than a year prior and was wondering if it was worth it.  Why not drown my loneliness and despair in a moderately priced case of wine?  As I searched for a bar/liquor store/anywhere selling intoxicating beverages, I couldn’t find one – odd right?  I debated steering my truck into a telephone pole, but wasn’t confident the Silverado would sustain enough damage to end it all.  I kept driving.  Not knowing how, I found myself steering into another sanctuary where 3 people spent the next 2 hours listening to me cry, to my sorrow and self pity and they gave me not just a shoulder to cry on, but hope that I could engage in life.  I didn’t have to give up on it.  Up until I connected with them, I was in the energy of an unlivable life.  I had been working my ass off to be a better me and was more miserable than ever.  Leaving there, I was ready to keep going.

I went home to my 4 bedroom house – empty except my 2 dogs.  I crashed onto my bed fully clothed and my labs snuggled on either side of me.  Hours later I woke with the lights still blazing, the dogs watching me and a feeling of relief.  I had chosen life.

I have tough days.  I have days I wonder what on earth I am doing, why I should keep following this path and doubt spirit’s plan for me.  But I have never since wondered if life was livable.  I have never since felt the need to end it all.

Watching a young woman throw herself in front of my car reminded me of what felt like another person’s pain; as if from another life time.  She had half a dozen people around her corralling her back into where she needed to be, talking to her.  One grabbed her arm as she threw herself forward toward my car and pulled her back.  She had support – she simply needed to place herself in their care.

Sometimes we feel alone; we aren’t.  I am about to meet with my new coach for the first time.  A long time colleague, it is not a strangers meeting.  But it is a turning point for me.  I am not one to ask for help easily.  It takes a special effort to acknowledge the voice within demanding it.  But I have learned life is more than livable, it is limitless and to move to the next level, I need all the support I can find.

There are two morals to this story:

  1. Life is livable – your choice. 
  2. You are only as alone as you want to be.

Consider this the next time you find yourself complaining about a Monday or some other part of life that is livable if you adjust your attitude, choose a new energy and invite the right energies in to your life to play.

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

That Funny Feeling of Change…Again

Bubbling under the surface is this nervous tension colliding with the sense of all is right with the world.  How can they both possibly be right?

I wonder this as I observe change happening for me, and for the first time in my life not being clear on what it is.

When I got sober back in 2003, I knew huge change was coming for me.  I was engaged, deployed to the Middle East with the US Army and convinced I’d never have any fun ever again if I didn’t drink.  I made a huge list of all the things I’d never be able to do again without alcohol as my companion.

I have done all of those things, left that engagement, survived emotionally and physically that deployment and though it all, I was aware of the shifts happening.

In 2010 I made my first connection with a life coach – my first official coach. I did it not only aware that change was happening, but very clear once more on the type of change I wanted: a different career.  What I got was a completely different life that I fall in love with all over again every single day.

In 2012-2013  I left my corporate job, opened my third business, started my only child in kindergarten, divorced from my husband, saw my brothers safe return to his wife and daughter from deployment to Iraq, sold multiple properties and completely changed my lifestyle.  I went from making 6 figures to 3 and felt wealthier than ever.

Since then small changes have occurred: I discovered a passion for glass art and began creating, I started teaching in a college certificate course and realized how much I love teaching, I assumed financial responsibility for my grandmother’s  affairs, rolled with business and personal financial ups and downs, sold a business, started another business, found a personal relationship that I value more than I ever thought possible and have a shared vision for the future that is so amazing I am stunned when daily action draws us closer to it.

So now, I stand on the unsteady grounds of change and have no idea what they are made of. After such clarity of direction in prior change phases I am wondering at the universe’s motives in keeping me in the dark.  What is lurking in those shadows as I walk forward?  It feels right, but with every step I wonder if the squishy floor will collapse and leave me floundering in chocolate pudding or horse shit.

Dealing with the uncertainty of this change requires faith.  “How do you get faith? How do you trust?” I have been asked over and over again.  Well, I am not sure how it will work for you, but this is what I have done:

Trust the ever loving shit out of an energy way fucking bigger than I am and way fucking bigger than I can conceive of.  It’s the shit, it is the grand master daddy mama of allllll things we are here to do and who am I to second guess it?

Let me elaborate on that a bit for those that need a more constructed process, here is what I have come to understand for me:

  1. I am a spiritual entity in physical creation – I believe that. I believe that I am connected to the spirit of the universe.
  2. The spirit of the universe is infinite, I am finite in physical form, the spirit of the universe has no physical form except me (and yes, you too!), and therefore I am connected to the infinite.
  3. I watch for the connections between my actions, my thoughts, my beliefs and the impacts on those around me. I see.
  4. I trust that infinite energy to be a lot smarter than me.
  5. I ask for the right thought or action and I take it when it arrives.

A little example:  When I was leaving the military, I didn’t have a special connection to anywhere at the time.  I was single, two dogs and needed a place to connect.  I had interviews lined up in 4 different states.

On my first interview for my last location choice, I got so sick I couldn’t continue on with my interviews in the next 3 states.  I had opened up my energies and said “Okay universe, where do you want to send me? I’ll go where you need me.”  And it answered “Iowa”.  Trust me, I had doubts, a strong desire to fight the direction and find another way.  But I decided to have faith and go for it.

That was 13 years ago.

So here was are again, “ok universe, where do you want me to go?  What do you want me to do?”  I’ll trust and move forward on faith. 

The Interview by Don Marlette

What would the conversation consist of if the you you want to be interviewed the you were were or are right now?

I am a HUGE advocate for making choices and never looking back.  Much like driving down the road, the minute we start to look into the past, we often start to drive in circles and eventually crash.  My motto has become that of the 19th-century monk, Boniface Wimmer:  “Forward, forward.  Always forward!”

 I also believe that where you are now is always at the perfect time.  Every choice, decision and consequence we experience in life create a blend of experiences and attitudes, with their share of challenges to make us perfectly suitable to life at the present moment.  Even the work we feel an inner pull to follow in later life only makes sense with the bumps and bruises of our earlier self.

 With all that said, I am going to look back at my younger self, and pose some questions – complete with their answers from the less-experienced me.  What would it be like for me to coach my younger self?

 My history is rather involved, so here is a quick description to get you up to speed.  I became Catholic in high school, went off to college seminary then joined a monastery for four years.  I was sent to complete my Master’s degree, and then I left monastic life just before ordination.  After leaving the monastery, I chose to work as a full-time parish worship and music director.  At the time of this interview, I’m doing very well.  I’m well-known as a musician and composer, making a high salary, and I’m quite successful.

 May this interview be a teachable moment for me…and for you.

–Start Interview–

New Self:  Are you happy?

 Old Self:  Honestly, no way.  I dread coming into work each day.  This work has become an albatross on my back for years, stemming from when I started doing it.  You know, I really didn’t want to do this work to begin with, even though I’m becoming well-known for being good at it!  I just needed a job when I left the monastery, and this seemed like a good fit for what I could do.

I’ve felt nothing but frustration, even anger.  I don’t fit.  I don’t feel supported.  Everyone loves what I’m doing, but I hate it.  I get migraines before every rehearsal, and I rejoice on  the days when I’m sick and can’t come to work!  Quite frankly, I feel very disillusioned in all this, and I want out in the worst way.  The problem is that I feel trapped.  I don’t know what else I could possibly do. So I guess I’ll just keep plugging away, put up with the personalities and politics, and look forward to finally retiring.

 New:  It sounds like things aren’t what everyone thinks they are.  Truthfully, I can feel the frustration in your voice, the choices of your words, and even your hunched body posture.  You honestly don’t seem happy, so it’s good that you can be honest about that.

 You also sound like you’ve condemned yourself to this work out of a sense of entrapment.  You say there isn’t another way out of this.  That you are going to just put up with everything until you retire.  But from my end, I think when you retire, you are going to be one bitter old man!  You’re already there, in case you haven’t noticed.  You do know you’re going to die one day?  Is this how you want to be then?

 Old:  No way!  I’ve thought about that a couple of times.  I know that if I keep doing what I’m doing, I’m going to just get worse and worse, and I’m going to end up at my deathbed, wishing I had done something different.

 New:  Like what?

 Old:  I have no idea!  I just want to do something that gives me joy, that makes me happy, that helps me to spread that happiness to everyone else.  I guess I could entertain people, but that’s a hard life.  And it’s too late for me to go back for another degree and start over, though.  I’m married with two children already, so I can’t make time to do all that.  I can’t afford it.  That’s why I feel so trapped.

 New:  What do you like to do, though?

 Old:  I like to entertain people, like I said.  Of course, I also like to talk with people one on one.  I always liked doing that.  I guess I could say that I really like to help people.  That’s all I do here at the parish office: help the staff people with their own problems and stresses.  I usually know what’s on the mind and heart before they say anything, so it’s easier for me to get to the bottom of things.  They like it, and I feel so much more alive – really alive! – afterwards.  But, like I said, I can’t get another degree so I could do that for a living. 

New:  I noticed how you perked up just now.  Did you?  What’s holding you back from doing it – from helping people for a living?

 Old:  I told you already!  I don’t have the time or money to get another degree.  That’s why I’m still doing this job.  I can do it, and it pulls in the money.  True, I never see my family since I work seven days a week – even on vacation!  But that’s the sacrifice I have to make.  I don’t like it, but it’s all I can do.

 New:  Do you really believe that you can’t break out of this?  I don’t think it’s true.  You’ve got some talents you haven’t owned yet, like….

 Old:  Just stop there.  Those “talents” you’re talking about are wrong around here anyway.  No one will ever accept them.  It’s fine to entertain people with, but that’s it.  It doesn’t feed a family.  I can’t do that.

New:  So you’re just going to stay stuck…by choice?

Old:  I just don’t see any other way.  I’m stuck.  Period.

–End Interview–

 I would love to end this interview on a positive note, but it doesn’t.  I chose at the time to remain stuck, to refuse to think outside the box, to live a life of real misery.

 Living my dreams was not an option.  All that changed later, after a lot more suffering, anxiety and intense frustration.  I waited.

What about you?

Don Marlette is, among many other things, a member of the No Limits Life team.  His unique blend of psychic insight, mediumship and practical wisdom guide spiritual practitioners and everyday people through the perils of everyday getting by to build lives that feel like they are singing their heartsong.  Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru