My inner bitch goes on a rampage sometimes, and it’s kinda fun. Seriously, if you could hear my inner dialogue at times, you would seriously wonder if I even like people.


The answer is sometimes.


But sometimes, I am so over everyone…I just can’t.


I can’t listen to one more story of learned helplessness.


I can’t deal with one more poor me my Mercedes is dirty rant.


I can’t watch one more beneficiary of privilege bemoaning the state of the world while sipping a double non-fat, no whip pumpkin spice whatever. (And I don’t even get the whole pumpkin spice fascination, I mean I love pumpkin but for reals with the obsession??)


And I can’t deal with fall lovers and pumpkins on front porches in mid-September (dude, it’s 95 degrees, that shit is going to rot!).


Yes, this all goes through my head.


We all have these moments, or days, or even weeks.  And I think it’s okay.  It’s okay to be cynical and snarky and indulge your inner bitch (even if you are a dude) from time to time.


You are human, it’s okay.  You aren’t any less spiritual than anyone else.  You aren’t an uncaring person and you don’t have to beat yourself up for years and days and go see a spiritual guru to heal you.  You need to admit you are human.


Now, if this way of thinking begins to dominate you, begins to be your decision maker and makes you intolerant of people, situations and ideas around you on a large scale you might need to seek help.  You might need to get some perspective from a healer, coach or a therapist.  Sometimes, we just get some wires crossed in our lives and need a little help uncrossing them.


I am a healer and a coach.  I work with people sometimes who have created this trap for themselves – the I am so over everyone mindset that has taken root. I usually use a combination of healing and coaching to unburden the mind, body and soul from whatever has taken root there and let the person see with fresh eyes and enable the resilience within them to make the shift into the optimal life they are capable of living. In many cases, this is the first step in coaching with someone – to free them from their own cage.


Which are you?  In a moment of snark and indulging your inner bitch, or in need of fresh perspective and ways to break free of the cage you constructed around yourself?


Apply for a Lackluster to Limitless Session with me if you find yourself in the cage – I can help you jailbreak!


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Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

“I Know” is Not Enough

Life hasn’t been going well lately. You know it’s time for a change. You know that of all the changes you could make, one stands out above the rest.

You know what you’re supposed to do, right?

And there’s the problem.

The problem is that you already know what to do to maximize your happiness, increase your joy, and live in the power of purpose, and knowing and doing are two entirely different things. After all, there are goals to set, plans to make, and alternatives to consider, and all of it is quite overwhelming.

Or is it?

I’ve got two vitally important things for you to consider.

First, knowing isn’t everything. In fact, it’s NOTHING.

The biggest problem we have is telling ourselves that grand old lie, “I know.” When someone – a friend, coach, adviser, or trusted confidant – tells us what we would do well to do, we respond with, “I know.”

And we’re telling the truth. We really do know. Well…we think we know.

The truth is that knowing is not about what’s going on in your brain. It’s not even about what’s going on in your thoughts.

You see, knowing means that you are doing, pure and simple. If you are living the way you want to be living, then you know that way of life. If you’re not living it, then you don’t know it.

Simple, right?

So if you know what you’re supposed to do, why aren’t you doing it? What’s getting in the way?

That gets to the second point. The biggest obstacle to knowing is your own mind.

Your mind is a treasure trove of thoughts, experiences, judgments and ideas. Everything you have ever experienced, everything you have ever done, and everything you have ever accepted as true, are all stored in your mind. Some of these are wonderful and helpful, while others are less than desirable for your life.

And some of them are flat out wrong.

When was the last time you actually sorted out your thoughts, to see which ones are helping you, which ones are getting in the way, and which ones are total lies? It’s definitely something to consider!

Here’s a quick and enlightening exercise to try: 

Find a quiet place, and simply sit for ten minutes – that’s all! – and watch your thoughts. No phone, no computer, no interruptions. Just you and your thoughts. Notice what you are thinking. Notice where they came from…or who they came from. Then notice whether they are helpful are not

Then realize that you can actually choose to get rid of the thoughts you don’t want. You can actually delete thoughts that no longer serve you, and replace them with thoughts that actually help you become who you truly are (not who people have told you who you are).

Yes, it’s a complicated road. It does seem overwhelming. But it isn’t.

No, you can’t do it alone. This is your LIFE, not a do-it-yourself project.

We humans live in communities for a reason: no one can get through this life alone. We exist to help each other let go of what binds us, and live the best life possible, using our unique abilities and gifts.

Ask Jennifer, Denny, Kari, or even me for help, so that you can get rid of those total lies in your mind, get empowered, and start proving that you know the right direction in your life by actually living it. Follow this link to start the conversation.