Turn Your Life Into an Empowered Life

I signed in to my bank account to do the monthly financial check to see how everything was looking.  As I cautiously hit the “Sign In” button, I thought I was ready for the number.  I wasn’t.  It was lower.  Much lower.

Fear gripped me.  I decided to do my psychic/healing work full-time, knowing that there would be rough patches on the road, but I wasn’t prepared for just how deep those potholes would be.  Now I had the fear, terror and hopelessness that such a rough road could become.

My mind went immediately to worst-case scenarios, with their accompanying feelings of dread and disappointment.  Then the emotional landscape shifted to feelings of anger at myself and my situation; then to blame.  Then full-blown panic.

I had to stop this movement toward the Dark Side.

I stopped.  I closed my eyes and got in touch with that Inner Voice and Wisdom that I talk and write about so much.  The answers I received surprised me.

As much as I was doing, I realized that I was working within a very limited view of my abilities, aptitudes and influence.  The truth stared me in the face: I was working in the wrong head-space.  Rather than pushing the envelope in my areas of work, I was staking out fenceposts that said, “Do this much and no more.  This is your work, so just stick with it.  Change is deadly.”  By building those limits, and choosing to stay within them, I was not only limiting my influence and income, but also my gifts and even my dignity.

By choosing limitations, I was settling for a limited life and a lesser me. 

Something had to change, and fast.  I chose to jump the fence of what I was doing, and expand my horizons.  I connected with people I had ignored far too long, either out of fear or the excuse that it wasn’t my area in which to work.  I literally “put myself out there”, risking my reputation on both personal and public levels.  I did things I had never done before.  It was hard work, took longer than you might expect, and had no guarantee of good results.  I was scared to death.

And I succeeded.

My gifts started to grow beyond what seemed to be at a maximum at the time.  My personal sense of dignity and self-worth was beyond positive.  My reach to others expanded beyond any expectations I had until then.  Oh, and the bank account looked much better, too.

I feel that if you’re reading this article, you have either been at this kind of crisis point recently, or you’re in it right now.  It’s not fun or easy, but there is a truth here: If you’re experiencing this, it is a chance for you to recognize your limitations, release them and embrace your highest self.

Below are the six steps I took to recognize and release my limitations, so that I could become who I am truly meant to be.  Work through these slowly and deliberately to navigate your way through your situation to a more empowered, limit-free life!

  1. Observe. What’s going on right now? What are the limitations that you’ve set up for yourself, either on a conscious or unconscious level?  Now is not the time to discover their origins.  At this point, simply identify what your limitations are, as concretely as possible.
  1. Reflect. How are these limitations sabotaging your progress, not only on a professional/work level, but also on a personal level? Why do you want these limitations in your life – for safety, security, just because?
  1. Journal/Discuss. Journal about your observations and reflections, or discuss them with someone you trust. Get clear about what limitations you’ve set for yourself, and what they have done to both help and hinder your progress and growth.
  1. Plan. What are you going to do to blast through your limitations? What empowered steps can you take to start leaving your limitations behind and embrace your true potential…no matter how daunting or frightening those steps might be for you? 
  1. Account. Who can you be accountable to for your changes? Sure, you might just say “yourself”, but try to find someone else to whom you can be accountable for your changes.  Otherwise, you can make excuses and compromises with your limitations, and end up sabotaging any growth you hoped to achieve.  That person (or people!) also will encourage you when you have self-doubts or second thoughts and fears.
  1. Act. Yes, this is the scary part. Actually put your plan into action and make the empowering changes in your life you need to make.  Realize that you will feel scared.  You will feel like it’s impossible.  You will feel out of your comfort zone.  With regard to those feelings, remember you went through this complex array of feelings emotions and mindsets at least once before: when you were born.  And you’re still here!  Make the leap of faith, knowing that you will land on your feet.  Let your accountability partner(s) (Step 5) be your cheerleader and motivator when you need it.   You can do it, and you will!

 

Finally, remember this one truth: If you do nothing, you will stay just where you’re at.  If you choose to move in a new and empowered direction, the freedom you gain is worth more than anything you can possibly imagine!

Don Marlette is, among many other things, a member of the No Limits Life team.  His unique blend of psychic insight, mediumship and practical wisdom guide spirtual practitioners and everyday people through the perils of everyday getting by to build lives that feel like they are singing their heartsong.  Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

What is at the Core of You?

A few things got lost along the way as we coaches plunged into the realm of saving all of ourselves from ourselves. Our self righteous battle cry of “listen to me! I can save you from the stuff you are tired of doing/need to overcome/are overwhelmed by” rings true, but wow there is a cacophony of crows crowing it from every treetop. And you know what they call a group of crows right? A murder.

This got me thinking about what we are doing in this exploding industry. Are we murdering the self help industry with our online courses and big ticket coaching programs and formulas and lists of ten things you need to stop or start doing now. I know I get overwhelmed and I have gotten to the point where a lot of that stuff is just noise. And that got me thinking about where I fit in all of this, where No Limits Life fits.

I don’t want to Periscope or Hangout. I want to connect. I don’t want to get so bogged down in dogma, scripts, pipelines, autoresponders and templates that I don’t have time to talk to you. I can’t be that person, and I can’t run that business.

In June I have a strategic planning meeting I am facilitating and a speaking gig at a large corporation here in town, both on top of celebrating the fact that we just passed the 5 year mark of being in business as an integrative life coach seeing clients. I am more excited about those two events and the energy of clients I have been attracting than I am about spending another 5 years putting together online courses for you – courses you all tell me your biggest fear about is that you’ll buy it and not finish it. And guess what – you are right! You don’t finish it! Then you feel guilty and don’t want to connect with me or my team because you fear the judgement. Oh. My. God. That is so not what I want for you.

I want to speak to you. Yes you – the one sitting in the energetic corner knowing he or she wants more and scared of what might change (or God forbid not change) if you go after it.

  • I want to tell you that whatever idea you have brewing within is worth the investment in you.
  • I want to tell you that you deserve to be thorough in your analysis, and you deserve to be bold enough to do it without having all of the answers.
  • I want you to know that you deserve time that is just yours and that you don’t have to wait until your retirement years to do you. Live your life for you.

At my last corporate job I was a strategic development manager. Part of that role was to look at what we were doing, finding the opportunities to make it bigger or better or more profitable and then develop the business case to prove or disprove our idea. It was also about knowing our markets and where we played best. As the company flexed in and out of spaces of growth an oft used phrasing seemed perfectly appropriate for what I am feeling in this coaching business: I want to pull back into my core and do what I do well and do it the best out there.

And what is that? What do I do well?

I inspire you to believe in you, to find your inner warrior and to partner with him or her to kick ass and give you all you deserve in this life. I partner with you to shed the mantle of expectation and unleash your repressed rebel, closet creative or aspiring adventurer upon your life and to let your innermost desires out to play and become your reality. This isn’t fantasy, this is your blessed life. No one will love it like you can, and no one will make it the dream life you want except you –it’s all you babe.

At the very first workshop I did at my former employer after I began coaching full time I shared a technique I call “Aligning Priorities” and over a year later I learned of the impact that workshop had on one of the participants. She shared that part of the way through the workshop as she inventoried what she was doing in her life and what was working and what wasn’t, she found herself in tears. She found herself faced with the reality that life wasn’t what she wanted. Fast forward 12 months and she was thriving in a new job, living a very different life that had her smiling and happy to be her. And I had no idea. I sent her a note on Linkedin after noticing the job change and only then did she share her personal evolution and went on to thank me for the nudge that the workshop gave her.

I will gladly take 100 stories like this over 1 unfinished online course.

My team and I talked about this and we agreed, no more formulas, no more online courses that lack interaction, and we turn our focus to interacting with you live: in person, over webinar and the phone. Because your problems aren’t solved by formula and simple self discipline. If so, you would have solved it already. Your opportunities aren’t explored with a yoga class every week, if so you’d have already set the world on fire with them. These challenges are overcome and opportunities seized when you are inspired and supported through the fear to the action.

For you: What is your core? Some might call it your purpose, your calling or your truth. Whatever. You decide to call it, are you waking up and thinking about it, creating it and doing it every day?

There are two pieces to this evolution:

  1. Identify your core.
  2. Think, create, do everyday.

Start with number 1.

Create a list of the things you are doing and what you love about them. Find the common thread. This is leading you to your core. Keep digging until you find the heart of it – the feeling of being home.

Move to number 2.

Ask yourself every moment, is this aligned to my core? If yes, go with gusto. If no, question yourself.

I am not sure how to make it more simple than that. But what I can say is that if it were easy, you’d have already done it. I wish you the best my friend and I can’t wait to see how you core looks shining brightly to the world.

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave. To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

Who are You to Want More? (who are you to NOT want more?!)

“Oh, I wish I could…”

Stop that, you don’t get to think that way, you don’t get to “wish”.  You have responsibilities, commitments, a good job, a great house, all the trappings of success from the outside looking in.  You don’t need more, why are you wishing for it?

You have more than the average person, you don’t need to look further, be happy with your choices, stay the course, stay safe and secure and for pete’s sake don’t risk anything. 

The quandary of the person who has achieved success, who has found the lifestyle they envisioned as a young adult.  This is the quandary of the person who realizes this might not be enough and feels guilty for dreaming.

Some programming along the way has led us to feel guilty for wanting to answer the call for the spiritual “more” in life.  We have the material foundation we want, we checked all the blocks spelling success, but our soul, our insides whisper our need for more.  And maybe we feel gluttonous.  Who are we to want more?

Who are you to not?  Who are you to not go for more, to not pursue the whispers of your soul?  Why would you sacrifice a calling from within for a chemically treated lawn?

Life doesn’t have to suck to want to go for more.  Conversely, you don’t have to chuck away all of your hard earned work and security to follow the calling from within.

To make it work though, you have to listen.  You have to pay attention to what is important and focus,  letting go of everything else.  It starts with alignment.  It is with this idea in mind, I created my Align Your Life Boot Camp kicking off September 7th.  Super early bird pricing is in effect until August 2 and then it goes up to early bird of $97 through August 26th and full price of $197 until kickoff day.

It can be hard to transition your life away from what is currently demanding your resources to a less defined more spiritual pursuit of creating and following the path of who you truly want to be: the artist, the spiritual explorer, the business owner, the service provider, the less rigid and material lifestyle liver.

Whatever you want, if it is different at all from your current daily existence, it takes focus, planning and consistent action over time.

My 2 week boot camp is reinforced by 1 year of continued support in monthly calls, emails and a private facebook group.  So you don’t have to do 2 weeks and be done, you can continue to draw support and get your foundation solidly constructed for this new lifestyle you want.

I could not have gone from a six figure corporate income, married with multiple properties and cars to self-employed, single and living simply, without support.   My coach, my group programs and my consistent actions from them kept me focusing and moving forward.

I wanted it, I took action and I have been living it.

You can too.

Check out Align Your Life Boot Camp if you want to learn more.

To move forward now, try one new thing.  A diet or physical activity shift for example.  If you want to eat healthier try a simple move like adding one vegetable or fruit to your diet daily.  To increase physical activity, simply take a walk every day.  Small actions can lead to big ones when you act consistently.

What action will you take?

Jennifer Murphy of No Limits Life is a glass artist, life coach and founder of The Art of Living Dangerously Group and Private Coaching programs. She partners with aspiring creative and conscious entrepreneurs to conquer what holds them back from cultivating their ideas to create their purposefully aligned and prosperous lifestyle. Learn more at www.nolimitslife.guru

What does Living Dangerously have to do with Life Coaching?

A life coach is about organizing your life, getting on track, finding your purpose, having someone hold you accountable when you can’t seem to do it by yourself. Right?

Living dangerously is about being a dare devil, jumping out of airplanes, cliff diving and extreme sports. Right?

Not from where I stand.

While those things are true, there is also more to the story.

I was walking up to my favorite deli a few weeks ago and was hailed with “Hey Jenn, How’s living dangerously these days?!”  A colleague from one of my networking groups happened to be standing by and he said, “That’s interesting, what does life coaching have to do with living dangerously?”

My passion flared, I felt myself grow larger (and slightly snarky if I am honest – how dare someone not get it?!), with my response that the two have everything to do with each other.  Everything.

A brief discussion ensued about my deli pal’s new business venture and how he was going for it – following his dream. And his dream isn’t the safe path, it’s a little dangerous.  The challenge to my philosophy from my colleague was answered without my intervention. My snarky beast went back to her cave.

Our true callings, our soul’s purpose, our life path is often not the safe, protected, always secure course in life. But, it feels more right than anything else we could possibly do once we muster the courage to embrace it.

There was a time I was a dreamer, I had big plans, I spoke of them, I planned and re-planned them.  I wanted them with an ache in my heart. And I settled.  I wanted to travel the world, be a veterinarian, a lawyer, a writer, a gypsy.  I wanted to live in a big city and a cabin in the woods – I wanted to explore this world we live in. And I settled.

I went to a local college instead of going away as I wanted. But then the universe answered me and I went into the military.  Certainly not a safe path as 9/11 struck and I was carried off to combat zones along with so many others.

I got to live a portion of my dream from there forward, but it wasn’t the full embodiment.  I did travel, I went places, I explored, I had mini adventures.  But deep inside I knew it wasn’t me.

Does this sound familiar?  Are you holding back somewhere in your life? Is there a part of you that remains unfulfilled even though parts are sublimely wonderful?

This is where coaching overlaps with living dangerously. 

That sharp pain in your soul that says “this is not enough” is the part of you wants to be dangerous, that wants to stop settling and go for the big dream.  It is the part that wants to create the lifestyle that you dream of and stop saying someday.

Someday energy is soul crushing energy.

To embrace the dream, to answer your soul’s calling can feel like the most dangerous thing you have ever done.

In the moment of acceptance of this calling, you can feel all alone.  You can feel like no one will get it, like you are the first or the only to do this.

While your journey is unique – of course it is, it is yours – you are not alone. You do not have to make the leap of courage and faith alone, this is where coaching does help.

I chose this focus in coaching because without my coach, I don’t know that I’d have come to the crossroads and made the turn down the dangerous path as quickly as I did.  I could have kept ignoring the call longer and gotten more discontent, more unhealthy from stress and fatigue, ignore more of the opportunities before me and continued to shrink to fit perceived expectations from external sources.

You don’t have to do this.  I believe you don’t and I believe there is an art to making this all work in your life that you don’t have to fumble through alone.

Coaching and living dangerously go hand in hand.  The coach is the guide, drill sergeant and healer in your corner as you create the fresh canvas of your lifestyle which embraces your true calling and purpose.

Try this:

  1. Create a limitless living list: set a timer for 5 minutes and write down everything you want to do and be in this life time.
  2. Acknowledge where you are taking action on any of it now.
  3. Be honest about how you feel about the action you are taking – are you settling?
  4. Is where you are okay? If it is, take no action. You are fine, be content and be well.
  5. Do you want different? If yes, then I encourage you to schedule a confusion to clarity strategy session with me where we can look at what different is and ways to get different energy moving in your life.

To pursue who and what you want to be is perhaps the most dangerous move you can make – it is vulnerable, it is real and it requires courage to accept and embrace it.  Your authentic true calling is within you waiting to be discovered and you deserve to become that energy.

Live Dangerously, Be You.

Learn more about Life Coach, Glass Artist and Creator of The Art of Living Dangerously (un)Program,  Jennifer Murphy at www.nolimitslife.guru

3 Ways to Work the Hustle for Determined Entrepreneurs

There was this musician my former husband and I really liked. When we’d hear of her playing in town with her band, we’d make a point go and enjoy.  She was a little grungy, a lot talented and played rock like it came straight from her soul’s connection to spirit.

One day, my then husband came home from working in one of the neighboring cities and he shared he had seen our favorite musician working at a sandwich shop near his work site. We were surprised, we had seen her only in her element, working her guitar and pushing her passion through to the audience. Making sandwiches seemed…weird. And truthfully, it made us uncomfortable.  I wondered if she was embarrassed at having to work another job, and what was happening with her music if it wasn’t supporting her?

I could not have been more clueless.

My life at this point had me making a six figure income and combined incomes had us pushing multiple 6 figures.  We had little worry about in the material realm and tended to be extravagant.  The tips we’d give musicians, artists, servers and the like were simply part of our lifestyle, what as expected. Though we had both grown up without much, we had become accustomed to having.

She was simply working the hustle.

I didn’t know it at the time, but seeing our musician on both sides – the stage and the sandwich shop – it was water on the seed of my own calling.

Since then, life has gotten different. I have returned to my roots in many ways and created new ones in so many more. In the course of creating 5 businesses, and closing three of those, I have learned a few things about following your calling as a business and what it can take sometimes to keep the faith and do what it takes to work the hustle.

  1. A part time job can be your best friend.

I recently took two.  One is very synergistic with my coaching –the lead coach in The Wealth Creation Institute for Intuitive Business Coach Michael Mapes.  I lead the WCI social media group and do the private coaching appointments for the group.  The second is as a merchandiser where I stock a company’s product in a store account.  It is oddly fun and I get a unique experience of watching all sorts of people at all kinds of hours. Observing humans IS my favorite spectator sport.

The first time I ran into someone I knew when I was doing my merchandising job, I was embarrassed.  I was embarrassed and wondered if they’d react to me the same way I reacted to my musician those years ago.  And then I kicked my inner bully to the curb and embraced what I was really doing: Whatever it takes to keep pursuing my dream and gathering experience along the way.

Both of these jobs provide me incredible insight and perspective I can use in my writing, in my glass, in my own growth and in my practice. In a choice between abandoning my calling and doing what it takes to keep going, I choose keep going. I believe so heartily in my calling to partner with others, to inspire others to create the life they love, and creating functional glass art, that I will do what it takes to keep moving it forward – working the hustle. 

  1. Haters gonna Hate

Yep, you will have naysayers. There will be voices in your life that attempt to crush your energy.  Usually these voices fall into one of two categories: people who are too afraid to do it themselves or people who are faking following their dream and are afraid of exposure through the mirror of your authenticity.

These people can be both in your face and passive aggressive.  In both cases your reaction is the same: keep going.  Keep pursuing what you want, they only get the power you give them and you can choose to give them none.

There is a third hater voice you might hear, your own inner bully. Overcoming this hater can be the hardest because it goes right for your deepest insecurities.  This is exactly where external perspective of a coach or another trusted source can be vital to keep you on track.

  1. Focus equals flourish. Fear equals failure.

Where you focus flourishes, it will grow under your attention and nurturing.  This is important because if you are focusing on the administrative side of your business only, you will not grow sales or gain clients through marketing.  If you are an artist and all you do is create and never showcase your work or go public with it for sale,  you will never sell it. There are multiple pieces of the puzzle of being in business for yourself and each must be focused on in turn.

Fear is a terrible decision maker.  Inaction in the face of fear is tantamount to failure.  When you let fear take the driver’s seat, your focus on everything else becomes moot. Fear may be always present, what matters is the role it plays in your life.  Is it the muscle bound monkey on your back, or is it the fly buzzing around, the one you can smack with a proper swatter?

You choose what you focus on.  As I work multiple jobs these days, this has become crucial. To line up what I need to focus on and when I smack fear down and simply focus.  I am present whichever job I am working: merchandising, coaching in my practice, coaching for someone else, working in my studio on my torch, or parenting my son.  I have to be ruthlessly present, ruthlessly focused and passionately dedicated to doing the best I can in each place.

What does all this mean to you? Well, where are you? Where do you find the parallel in what I described above?

Meditate or journal with these questions if you are a dedicated entrepreneur who sees him or herself in the words above: 

  1. Would a part time job enable me to continue to pursue my calling?
  2. Who are the naysayers in my life and how can I make them less effective?
  3. What am I focusing on? Is it getting me where I want to be? What action can I take now to shift the energy and the results?

Hustle is hustle, it is energy and focus and motion and taking action.  Your actions define you more than  your words, much more. Your calling demands action from you, working the hustle however it manifests.  There are many more aspects to working the hustle – what are yours?

If you need help getting your hustle on track grab a free 30 minute confusion to clarity strategy session on my website at www.nolimitslife.guru

Comment below or email me at Jennifer@nolimitslife.guru

Learn more about Life Coach, Glass Artist and Creator of The Art of Living Dangerously (un)Program,  Jennifer Murphy at www.nolimitslife.guru

3 small acts of Courage to Create the Life you were Meant to Live

Courage, it’s not something to fear.

Within each of us is a seed of courage, either sprouting and thriving or waiting for the right time and attention to burst forth.

It is this courage that can propel us to create the life we feel meant to live.

If you are already living your dream life, then read no further.  But if you are not, I have 3 small acts you can take now to get in touch with that courage to create the life you feel meant to live.

  1. Stop saying no to your dreams.

Embrace the art of the possible: whatever you are craving can exist.  If you don’t even acknowledge the possibility, how can it manifest?

Not so long ago I had to give myself permission to dream of a different life.  I didn’t even realize I had denied myself.  But I had stepped into the expected version of a “successful life” and was not allowing myself to see the possibilities of living a more carefree, simple existence doing and being who I had wanted to be when I was a high school dreamer.

Military career, deployments, corporate life and family creation and dissolution left me without an identity I felt was truly me – I had lost me at some point on this winding path and was ready to rescue me – but wasn’t sure where to start.

Embracing this possibility of an alternate reality, I was able to see new opportunities in my life which led me back into the metaphysical realm, a healthier eating habit, going into business for myself and being the parent I really want to be to my son.

To make this work for you, take the time to acknowledge the idea or dream you have been pushing away through journaling, meditation or discussion with a trusted source.

  1. Take one action NOW.

As you open up to the possibility – details will spring forth: the type of home, the hobbies, the people, the experiences.  These are not “someday” things.

Pick one and bring it into the now.  I often share the story of my white sheets.  In my ideal life, I wanted to have crisp, clean white sheets and bedding.  This was an easy to achieve detail in the now.  I bought them and put them on my bed and woke up to a possibility I had obstinately denied myself for too long.

But this small act of courage allowed me to take another action and I shifted eating habits, leading me to the next action and the action after that.  And within a relatively short amount of time, I found myself sitting in a coffee shop marveling at the fact of my living in the reality I hadn’t thought possible.

What is your “white sheets”?

  1. Create.

As adults, we don’t create enough – or we don’t acknowledge what we do is creative.  Creating a clay piece, a glass bead, a doodle, a hemp necklace or a new dish in the kitchen are ways to inspire you to try new things.

Why Create? To take you outside of your comfort zone.

When you are outside of your comfort zone, your natural intuitive resourcefulness kicks in and courage plays a big role in that resourcefulness. You also see things anew, or for the first time, inherently opening up fresh avenues to possibilities.

Create whatever you want, even a simply coloring book can be regenerative.  It can move you into the part of the brain you don’t use quite as much – or at least acknowledge the use of – and invite fresh energy to play.

These three small acts of courage open you up to creating the life you feel meant to live, but aren’t sure how to build the bridge from where you are to that life.  These three acts can open up a whole new set of building tools, paths you may have missed before and experiences to capitalize on.

I’d love to hear your experiences with these!    Comment below or send me an email at Jennifer@nolimitslife.guru

Live Dangerously, Be You

Jennifer Murphy

Jennifer Murphy

Jennifer Murphy embraces the art of living dangerously through her work as a coach, artist, writer, mother and more, always more. Her core philosophy is there really is no limit to the possibilities in your life, be true to you and create your personal path.   You can connect with her at www.nolimitslife.guru

One Rule to Never Violate

Integrity.

Don’t violate it.  It is yours to honor and apply to your life, your conduct and your actions.

It fuels your energy, your actions and your interactions with others.

So tonight when I got an email from a fellow business owner, I realized why I had been experiencing an inner cringe all day.

I pride myself on just being up front.  Being direct has always felt more comfortable to me than not.  It hasn’t always been the easier path, but it has been the truer path.  It has felt more authentic to me.

In my blog yesterday, I called out a couple of coffee shops I frequent and contrasted my experience with them.  I don’t deny the experiences, they happen.

But, I violated my own sense of integrity in the process.  And rightly so, one of the coffee shop owners called me on it.  And I am glad!

I am glad to receive the opportunity to be better, to look at myself with an honest eye and say “you screwed up, now you get to grow from it and fix it.”

My better, normal self would have contacted him and described the routine issues I was seeing and experiencing and let him deal with them as he saw fit – so why didn’t I?

In all honesty, it was because I was feeling petty and crabby.  And I wrote that portion of my blog in a bit of a snit.

I share this because I think we all do it.  I think we all have had those moments when we lash out at others, or gripe about situations.  In those moments we aren’t looking for resolution or healing, we are looking for reaction or to share the negative emotion we are holding on to.  It can manifest in lots of ways: we criticize, gossip, second guess, judge and or just get a little nasty about something.

We act without integrity. It makes us do that inner cringe thing when we think of it and we don’t like it. It doesn’t mean we lack integrity as a person, but if we are ruthless in our analysis, we can all find those moments where we were not our best.

In his book The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz says to Be Impeccable with your word.  Say only what you truly mean and be honest and true to your truth.  When we allow ourselves to react instead of responding to situations, we are not necessarily impeccable with our word, we are not acting in integrity.

I agreed to a meeting with the coffee house owner, gladly.  And I will apologize in person for my indiscretion because that is the path of integrity.  I won’t settle for less from myself and will always clean up what I can when I am not all in the right.

In my 13 principles of The Art of Living Dangerously, Principle 6 is to know your story.  It means to know and become intimate with where your reactions come from, to know who you are, where you come from and how it has shaped you.

As I reflect on this situation, I am forced to look at where my “snit”came from and why I let it out the way I did.

In-authenticity is a hot button for me and when I perceive others to be doing something because it looks good rather than it actually being good, it irritates me.  I have been a hard worker my entire life and believe that if you are going to do something, do it right – fully commit and be the best you can possibly be at whatever it is. I also know not everyone does this.

Growing up I encountered situations where others didn’t do that and it hurt my life, it hurt my existence in ways that created scars that I have had to confront in my own healing processes as I acquainted myself with my story.

I don’t believe in excuses. In fact once you put the effort into knowing your story, you have fewer reasons to excuse your behavior because you have committed to understanding yourself more fully. So I do my best to remain vigilant when these buttons get pushed because the reaction usually points back to me at least two fold, if not more.

In this instance, I have no issue or reservation whatsoever in saying I was not entirely in the right.  In this instance, I can be honest and know that being more more natural direct self is the better path, as always.

I encourage you to take a look at a time in your life recently where you may have acted with less courage, honesty and authenticity than you know your true self desires.  Honor it and resolve it so that you don’t do that inner cringe thing every time you think of it!