Create Your Personal Manifesto in less than 5 hours

What if you had a creed, a set of rules to live by, a list of ideals that focused your daily living and your lifestyle? And it would enable a level of simplicity in your life deeper than you have experienced so far in life.  You’d have a clear understanding of where you are and what support you as you move through the rest of this incarnation.

Sounds decent right?

What would YOU say if you captured the lessons learned, guideposts and truths in your life?  How long would it take you to capture them? Would there be hundreds?  Well, sure there would, if you captured each and every instance of them…but chances are if you looked a little deeper and sought the themes you’d find them.

Are you curious?

Let’s do it.  

Follow the steps below.  In the parenthesis are the recommended times to spend in each activity.

  1. Allocate a chunk of time each day for a week where you record the pivotal experiences and values in your life. (10-20 minutes x 7 days = 140 minutes max)
  2. Spend some time analyzing what you found. (30-45 minutes max)
  3. Document the themes. (10-15 minutes max)
  4. Study them, are these your truths and guideposts? As long as it takes.
  5. Create your manifesto. (60 minutes)

The 13 Principles of The Art of Living Dangerously is mine. It took me 2 decades and 10 minutes to figure them out.  2 decades of finding myself, getting lost and finding myself again. In the end, I worked through the steps above and my 13 Principles of The Art of Living Dangerously came tumbling out.

As it poured out, I realized that YES!  YES!  This is EXACTLY what I live my life based on.  YES!

And then I wanted to share it with all of you…

So I created a program around it and I started blogging around it a little bit.  And it felt vulnerable so I backed off and haven’t been saying much about it!  Crazy right? I have this super cool thing, I know you’ll love it and I know I do and I know it could serve you if I let it!

In fact, after I shared this with a group of corporate women…I had tremendous feedback from them!

No more holding back.  In the coming weeks I will be sharing more and more on this lifestyle touchstone list. I hope you enjoy it.

And by the way….

What would yours say? Email and let me know Jennifer@nolimitslife.guru

Life Coach Jennifer Murphy is the creator of The Art of Living Dangerously, a glass artist, a Co-Director of Vets THRIVE Foundation and passionate about helping others find and fulfill their passion. Learn more on www.nolimitslife.guru

Who Feeds First in Your World?

I woke up tired.  I was not excited to greet the day, the tasks before me fell flat without glitter or shine or attraction.

I knew immediately something was off and it took me about 2 seconds to figure out I needed to find some time to feed myself.

One of The 13 Principles of The Art of Living Dangerously is to Feed Yourself First.  I live by these principles based on hard won experience in creating the life I Love.

To feed yourself first means that you fill your physical, mental and energetic reservoirs so that you have what you need to meet your obligations and give to others when called upon.  When you are running on empty, what do you have to give others?  You have empty, you have nothing.

Yet, again and again we find ourselves saying yes when resent it, or at the very least dread it.  We commit, then overcommit to activities, obligations and money. We live beyond the capacity of our bank accounts, hours in the day and energy.  Some perverse logic tells us that the busier we are, the better we are. Or the more “stuff” we have the more important we are.

Bogus.

It is bogus thinking.  It is damaged thinking, bred from the battle lines of social media, the expectations of “everyone” and our belief that someone else’s opinion of us is more important than our own sense of authenticity, health and happiness.  So yeah, I call BOGUS on the idea that more is better and instead argue that when you feed yourself first, you can decide better when you have had enough.  When you let people force feed you or rip “food” from your hand, you are not empowered. You have given away your power.

It’s time to take it back and feed yourself, own your actions and decide what is right for you.

That was my conclusion when I woke that day, tired, grumpy and out of sorts. That night I had a session with a fellow practitioner and confessed my state of mind and realization that I was over committing, taking on things that I didn’t need to and inviting illness if I kept on.  I shared the example that earlier that day, in a part time job I hold, I agreed to work extra hours in a month that I sure as heck won’t have time to offer…as a knee jerk response.

When I committed to this path of mine, I had spiritual surgery to remove the spring in my ass popping me up to volunteer for everything in sight. As I heard myself saying yes to my boss, I wondered if it had somehow grown back in the night without my knowing.

I asked for my colleagues help in, once more, removing it and stepping back into my on philosophy that said I deserve to be taken care of at least as well as I care for others.

So this morning, I spent curled up with a magazine, a good cup of coffee and simply enjoyed for a while.  I ignored the pile of work, I ignored the emails, I ignored the “should” popping up and then ignored the initial extreme discomfort that ensued when I sat down.

As I turned pages, sipped at the brew and breathed deep into my soul, I felt stress and strain slip away, I felt my internal power system coming back online. It felt AMAZING!

When was the last time you fed yourself?

If it has been a while, here are a few things to consider:

  1. It won’t be convenient. Pick a time and do it.  It won’t fit nicely, you will have to say no to something else.  Remember that no is a complete sentence. Practice: No.
  2. This is for you to refuel and recharge. You’d advise a good friend if they were in a similar state right?? Treat yourself at least as well as you’d treat that friend.
  3. Keep it simple. You don’t need anyone else to take time for you. Yeah, a massage or a mani/pedi would be cool, but just go for a walk sans cell phone or partner. Grab coffee and a good book or mag. Do what you want to do, but would “normally” feel guilty indulging in. (Note: Guilt is not an emotion to let be normal.)
  4. Screw the guilt. Seriously.  Who told you that you couldn’t?  Who told you not to?  Who told you that you don’t deserve it?  I call BOGUS again.  Guilt is useless in this exercise.  Be stronger, push past that lie you tell yourself and let guilt be replaced by satisfaction and energy.
  5. Enjoy it. Take a deep breath and enjoy.
Why is this important?

Doing this will bring your energies to bear on what you want, instead of what you feel you “should” want.

  • What you want is to meet and dominate your calling, purpose, path, or whatever you want to call it.
  • What you “should” want is what you think others want you to pursue.

I’d love to hear how you feed yourself. What is the activity you deny yourself most often, that you wish you had more time for and feel guilty for wanting it?

Be honest…

Read this Before you Dismiss your Dreams Again

Today I got to see me a few years ago, not in any one person, but in many.  Of course, it got me thinking…let me share:

Some would be surprised to know that my default is introvert.  I would rather be alone or with a few I truly trust – which is only a few – than a roomful of people.

I love to observe people rather than participate with them.  As a species we are interesting.  Simply fascinating.

But wow, interacting with my clients, my groups and the places I get to go speak and deliver workshops is so powerful!  When you are with the right group…interacting the THE BEST.

Outside of those situations, it is often, really often, that I find myself not quite a part of what is going on.  I don’t mind.  I see it most keenly when I am at my son’s activities because the rest of the time, I tend to be with people more like me: wandering, seeking, creative spirits who want to be authentic and real.

I welcome the separateness I feel.

It’s not that the people I see when I am at my son’s activities aren’t that…it’s just that in general, they are more like the life I took action to move away from than the life I have now.  My life isn’t for everyone.  It is for me and I love it.  I love my life.  I love the randomness, I love the creativity, the lack of a 9-5, the sometimes unstable nature that has me wondering where that next grocery trip is coming from.

While to some it would feel chaotic, to me, it is simple.  There is a simplicity in doing what I love. My soul sighs in love for me as I do it.

I spent today watching people as we went to a soccer tournament, me and my squeak.  I saw the new vehicles, the workout gear never sweated in, the mass produced jewelry, the china made goods, the GMO laden food…I saw my former life reflected in many people around me.  It just is no longer my choice.

As we drove down to the games, my son and I were talking about how his brothers ate when they were home versus him.  It startled me to be reminded of a time when I was trying to feed my family well, making that transition, but hadn’t yet heard of the local Co-op.  I wondered how many people fit that description today. 

I wondered how many would say they are looking for more and better for themselves and struggling to find it.  Because the “it” is not yet defined for them.

A few key questions come to mind: 

 1. How do you define your “it”?

The “it” is personal, it is carnal, it is real and it is scary sometimes.  It can be real scary to know that your life does not suck, but that you know it can be different and be even better.

2. But what is that path to get there?  How do you navigate that? 

We all have that potential for more within us. We all can discover what “it” is in our lives and go after it.

Many who want to be coaches and inspirationalists find themselves in this boat.  “I have an idea, I want to help people, I want my life to be more…BUT” ….and then fill in the blank.  It might be time, money, others taking priority or lack of confidence. Or maybe something else for you?

3. If you can’t make time to live your dream, how do you think that inspires others?

What I find it really boils down to a true lack of order and clarity in your own life if this is you.  Once our own house begins to find order order, once we start the actions to clear away the self imposed chaos, we can find that direction and pursue it with a vengeance…as if angels carried our bags and forged ahead of us marking the path.

4. What needs to be put in order in your house? 

For me, one things was to reconcile with the fact that I enjoy being separate.  I don’t have to be the center of attention to feel valid.  I can be separate and still support my son. I can interact with others but not participate in what doesn’t agree with me.  I can disagree respectfully and not engender hatred.  I can own my decisions.

What is boils down to is truly loving who I have become.

Do you?

You can get to know you and love you if you don’t. Start with the intention to do so and allow the actions come in to your life. Most of us need to increase the time we spend with just us.  Book an hour for just you this week.

Immediately all the reasons that is too hard may have just spring up.  Too bad.  Push through them.  Is this important to you or not?  Do you believe you deserve this or not? 

If you don’t, then even more you need to force this time for you into your life.

Do it and let me know how it felt! 

Jennifer Murphy is a life coach, glass artist, creator of The Art of Living Dangerously.  Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

Who is the Coach on Your Field?

I sat there listening to them scream at their players, berating their efforts, directing them and distracting them.  *Caution it’s about to get petty*….They had the look of high school about them with matching outfits complete with t-shirts pulled tight against their post baby pooches familiar in the kind of mom who lost the weight but isn’t in shape. *you were warned*   Their kids were exasperated and other parents got up and moved.  My son leaned into me to whisper, “gawd that’s annoying, I am so glad that isn’t you.”

Am I being judgmental?  You betcha.  I own that completely. 

I own that I probably shouldn’t care about the ridiculous outfits.  It isn’t something that needs to occupy real estate in my awareness. Nor is it any of my business. In reality, I thinks it’s cool to just be who you are.

But we all have those moments of petty judgment and being slightly (or more) bitchy.  So I release that, apologize for my thoughts and any pain they cause.

What I cannot let go it with is the constant distraction as they tried to “coach” from the sidelines.

Allow me to go a little deeper with this and let’s see if we can’t figure it out. 

I invested, took another job even, to commit my son to a Futbol Club for soccer.  Club soccer provides a professional coaching staff, discipline and training beyond what any parent coach can provide.

Example from practice recently: it was hard for me to sit in my sideline chair as my son was disciplined and made to sit out for a time because of, what I later learned, was his disrespectful behavior.  In the moment, I decided to trust the coach. I am glad I did.

This club is entrusted with the most precious thing in my life and I am asking him to invest in himself by playing and learning as hard as he can.  And I am asking the club to return that investment to him.  So why would I get in the middle of that?  And why would these parents feel like they need to?

I think the moment of clarity around this actually happened prior to this particular experience with these parents.  During the first game of the day, our staff coach had argued a little with the teenage referee.  He said, “these guys are u9 and this is a teaching experience, let’s cut a little slack and teach instead of penalize.”

So yeah, lighten up mom – all of us. Yeah, me too.

It is also a real metaphor for life. 

Where are you in your own growth pattern?

Do you think you already know it all?  Are you placing too many “should’s” on yourself?  Are there too many directors in your life? Do you need to figure out what mistake you made and learn how to never do it again? What lesson are you learning right now, what lesson is spirit teaching you?

A good coach helps you figure that out – whether you are on the soccer pitch or the field of life. My coaches helped me and continue to help me see the lessons before me and how I can get better at being me. If you want to keep leveling up, keep doing more and being more – you have to know where your direction is coming from. An awareness develops and the growth in inner confidence and the inner guru voice helps when those moments of sideline commentary appear (and sometimes that sideline commentary is the voice in my head) – I can decide, I get to choose whether I pay attention or not.

So where are you in your growth pattern?  Are there external voices you need to shut off? Are there patterns or lessons that keep repeating that you need to cut off energy to? What different action do you need to take now to move to the next level in your life?

If you aren’t sure, I can help you if you take the action of accepting my invitation for a complimentary 30 minute confusion to clarity strategy session.  We’ll get clear on what you want, what holds you back and talk about how you can move past it. Click here to accept.

Learn more about Life Coach, Glass Artist and Creator of The Art of Living Dangerously (un)Program,  (and get free stuff) Jennifer Murphy at www.nolimitslife.guru

Conquering Chaos, Let’s Do This.

A sports team meeting put on the wrong night of the calendar, a payment programmed in on the wrong week, late everywhere you go, tired and short tempered, feeling perpetually behind, a list of “somedays” a mile long and the constant demand for more from those around you.

Does this sound familiar?

Do you ask yourself, “what the F&^&% am I thinking? Where is my head?”

Is your inner bully voice in his or her element enjoying this opportunity to throw salt on the beat down you are giving yourself?

If this isn’t you, stop reading now. If you have NEVER done this stop reading now.

Stop reading now and go apply for sainthood, or the better than everyone else award, cause you stinking rock.

But for the rest of us….yeah, let’s talk.

I was exactly as described above this week.  My son was horrified when we went to the girl’s soccer team meeting for his club last night instead of the boy’s team which had been the previous night.  I was late EVERYWHERE yesterday, a payment hit my personal account I had no idea was coming and threw my carefully planned finances all out of whack and you can imagine what that did for my emotional well- being…ugh.

It sucks to feel that way.  The fatigue that normal living induces gets amplified by roughly a gazillion at that point (I am assured by my kid that a “gazillion” is not a number but I am using it anyway, ya know…for dramatic effect).

Last night was the new moon and an excellent time just start fresh.  So I thought about what I know about moving out of this energy, because it isn’t normal for me.  I don’t live in this energy on a regular basis, and you don’t have to either.  Let’s get past it together shall we?

  1. Stop looking outside yourself.

I texted my best friend and partner in most things and asked him to give me boost. “Tell me I will figure all this out” I asked.  Well, he didn’t and I was momentarily pretty torqued.  I wanted him to solve this for me, and at the very least tell me I was going to be okay. My inner 4 year old was ready to go self- righteous temper tantrum all over the place.

Having a cheerleader and support system is awesome and I advocate it.  But they can’t give you false energy.  He had no idea if I would figure it out.  It wasn’t kosher to ask him to do that.  I have to figure it out.  That energy comes from inside me, and it is within you.

Go within and commit to releasing the chaos energy.  Release it from within and then others can support you with their love and affection.  Others can only support what you are willing to do for  yourself – they can’t do it for you.

I love to use Release Essential Oil by Young Living at these times to support me releasing the self-induced trauma and blocks. Focus on what you want to feel, how you want to be living and operating in your life and take the immediate action to get there. A conversation with your coach can help further guide you.

  1. Take a break.

In the midst of chaos the temptation is great to “do more”. More of whatever it is creating the chaos gets you….yeah, more chaos. Good luck with that approach. I’ll see you in the looney bin.

Instead STOP. Just STOP.  Stop pushing, stop pulling, stop powering through and evaluate where you are. Take a nap, play, binge watch your favorite bad TV, immerse yourself in a book, go for a walk. But STOP your current energy stream.

I spent last night reading book 11 in the Black Dagger Brotherhood series. If you love to escape with paranormal action romance and haven’t read this series, check it out and start from the beginning. Super fun.

Before you get too distracted with muscled fanged hotties and cool fight scenes, focus on my point: You must interrupt the current icky flow to start a fresh one.

Once you have interrupted the flow, you can refocus with fresh perspective. What needs to change? What can you no longer tolerate, what can you shift your approach to? What action do you need to take?

  1. Commit.

This can be the hardest.  Now you have to commit to doing it different.

After my vampire indulgence and a good night’s sleep, I got clear on how to do today.   I committed to today being different.  And so far, I am on track and it feels good.  I have been on time, been productive, said ‘no’ where I need to and been present in the moment.  This feels more like me.

Notice I didn’t commit to the unending future. I committed to today. Today, this moment, is where you are – be there and commit to there.

Tomorrow, commit again and renew your commitment every single day. Commitment to living the life you want is not a one and done thing. It is an everyday agreement.

Every day, sit with yourself and agree to live with intention, as your authentic self guides you to live and commit to progress.

These are my simple steps to conquering chaos in the short or long term.  You can use these in the moment and every single day to live in the present.

As I shared, sometimes you fall off the wagon.  Sometimes you find yourself caught in the chaos spiral and living in a pretty crazy energy. Well…get your crazy on and then be done with it; fire up the conquering energy and burn down crazy town.

Live Dangerously, Be You

Learn more about Life Coach, Glass Artist and Creator of The Art of Living Dangerously (un)Program,  (and get free stuff) Jennifer Murphy at www.nolimitslife.guru

What does Living Dangerously have to do with Life Coaching?

A life coach is about organizing your life, getting on track, finding your purpose, having someone hold you accountable when you can’t seem to do it by yourself. Right?

Living dangerously is about being a dare devil, jumping out of airplanes, cliff diving and extreme sports. Right?

Not from where I stand.

While those things are true, there is also more to the story.

I was walking up to my favorite deli a few weeks ago and was hailed with “Hey Jenn, How’s living dangerously these days?!”  A colleague from one of my networking groups happened to be standing by and he said, “That’s interesting, what does life coaching have to do with living dangerously?”

My passion flared, I felt myself grow larger (and slightly snarky if I am honest – how dare someone not get it?!), with my response that the two have everything to do with each other.  Everything.

A brief discussion ensued about my deli pal’s new business venture and how he was going for it – following his dream. And his dream isn’t the safe path, it’s a little dangerous.  The challenge to my philosophy from my colleague was answered without my intervention. My snarky beast went back to her cave.

Our true callings, our soul’s purpose, our life path is often not the safe, protected, always secure course in life. But, it feels more right than anything else we could possibly do once we muster the courage to embrace it.

There was a time I was a dreamer, I had big plans, I spoke of them, I planned and re-planned them.  I wanted them with an ache in my heart. And I settled.  I wanted to travel the world, be a veterinarian, a lawyer, a writer, a gypsy.  I wanted to live in a big city and a cabin in the woods – I wanted to explore this world we live in. And I settled.

I went to a local college instead of going away as I wanted. But then the universe answered me and I went into the military.  Certainly not a safe path as 9/11 struck and I was carried off to combat zones along with so many others.

I got to live a portion of my dream from there forward, but it wasn’t the full embodiment.  I did travel, I went places, I explored, I had mini adventures.  But deep inside I knew it wasn’t me.

Does this sound familiar?  Are you holding back somewhere in your life? Is there a part of you that remains unfulfilled even though parts are sublimely wonderful?

This is where coaching overlaps with living dangerously. 

That sharp pain in your soul that says “this is not enough” is the part of you wants to be dangerous, that wants to stop settling and go for the big dream.  It is the part that wants to create the lifestyle that you dream of and stop saying someday.

Someday energy is soul crushing energy.

To embrace the dream, to answer your soul’s calling can feel like the most dangerous thing you have ever done.

In the moment of acceptance of this calling, you can feel all alone.  You can feel like no one will get it, like you are the first or the only to do this.

While your journey is unique – of course it is, it is yours – you are not alone. You do not have to make the leap of courage and faith alone, this is where coaching does help.

I chose this focus in coaching because without my coach, I don’t know that I’d have come to the crossroads and made the turn down the dangerous path as quickly as I did.  I could have kept ignoring the call longer and gotten more discontent, more unhealthy from stress and fatigue, ignore more of the opportunities before me and continued to shrink to fit perceived expectations from external sources.

You don’t have to do this.  I believe you don’t and I believe there is an art to making this all work in your life that you don’t have to fumble through alone.

Coaching and living dangerously go hand in hand.  The coach is the guide, drill sergeant and healer in your corner as you create the fresh canvas of your lifestyle which embraces your true calling and purpose.

Try this:

  1. Create a limitless living list: set a timer for 5 minutes and write down everything you want to do and be in this life time.
  2. Acknowledge where you are taking action on any of it now.
  3. Be honest about how you feel about the action you are taking – are you settling?
  4. Is where you are okay? If it is, take no action. You are fine, be content and be well.
  5. Do you want different? If yes, then I encourage you to schedule a confusion to clarity strategy session with me where we can look at what different is and ways to get different energy moving in your life.

To pursue who and what you want to be is perhaps the most dangerous move you can make – it is vulnerable, it is real and it requires courage to accept and embrace it.  Your authentic true calling is within you waiting to be discovered and you deserve to become that energy.

Live Dangerously, Be You.

Learn more about Life Coach, Glass Artist and Creator of The Art of Living Dangerously (un)Program,  Jennifer Murphy at www.nolimitslife.guru

One Rule to Never Violate

Integrity.

Don’t violate it.  It is yours to honor and apply to your life, your conduct and your actions.

It fuels your energy, your actions and your interactions with others.

So tonight when I got an email from a fellow business owner, I realized why I had been experiencing an inner cringe all day.

I pride myself on just being up front.  Being direct has always felt more comfortable to me than not.  It hasn’t always been the easier path, but it has been the truer path.  It has felt more authentic to me.

In my blog yesterday, I called out a couple of coffee shops I frequent and contrasted my experience with them.  I don’t deny the experiences, they happen.

But, I violated my own sense of integrity in the process.  And rightly so, one of the coffee shop owners called me on it.  And I am glad!

I am glad to receive the opportunity to be better, to look at myself with an honest eye and say “you screwed up, now you get to grow from it and fix it.”

My better, normal self would have contacted him and described the routine issues I was seeing and experiencing and let him deal with them as he saw fit – so why didn’t I?

In all honesty, it was because I was feeling petty and crabby.  And I wrote that portion of my blog in a bit of a snit.

I share this because I think we all do it.  I think we all have had those moments when we lash out at others, or gripe about situations.  In those moments we aren’t looking for resolution or healing, we are looking for reaction or to share the negative emotion we are holding on to.  It can manifest in lots of ways: we criticize, gossip, second guess, judge and or just get a little nasty about something.

We act without integrity. It makes us do that inner cringe thing when we think of it and we don’t like it. It doesn’t mean we lack integrity as a person, but if we are ruthless in our analysis, we can all find those moments where we were not our best.

In his book The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz says to Be Impeccable with your word.  Say only what you truly mean and be honest and true to your truth.  When we allow ourselves to react instead of responding to situations, we are not necessarily impeccable with our word, we are not acting in integrity.

I agreed to a meeting with the coffee house owner, gladly.  And I will apologize in person for my indiscretion because that is the path of integrity.  I won’t settle for less from myself and will always clean up what I can when I am not all in the right.

In my 13 principles of The Art of Living Dangerously, Principle 6 is to know your story.  It means to know and become intimate with where your reactions come from, to know who you are, where you come from and how it has shaped you.

As I reflect on this situation, I am forced to look at where my “snit”came from and why I let it out the way I did.

In-authenticity is a hot button for me and when I perceive others to be doing something because it looks good rather than it actually being good, it irritates me.  I have been a hard worker my entire life and believe that if you are going to do something, do it right – fully commit and be the best you can possibly be at whatever it is. I also know not everyone does this.

Growing up I encountered situations where others didn’t do that and it hurt my life, it hurt my existence in ways that created scars that I have had to confront in my own healing processes as I acquainted myself with my story.

I don’t believe in excuses. In fact once you put the effort into knowing your story, you have fewer reasons to excuse your behavior because you have committed to understanding yourself more fully. So I do my best to remain vigilant when these buttons get pushed because the reaction usually points back to me at least two fold, if not more.

In this instance, I have no issue or reservation whatsoever in saying I was not entirely in the right.  In this instance, I can be honest and know that being more more natural direct self is the better path, as always.

I encourage you to take a look at a time in your life recently where you may have acted with less courage, honesty and authenticity than you know your true self desires.  Honor it and resolve it so that you don’t do that inner cringe thing every time you think of it!