One Minute Musing: Misallocation of f#$ks

Game 2 of the world series seemed to be all about use of resources.  How the Dodgers used their bullpen last night, mattered. In case you missed it, they fell to the Astros in extra innings.  I’m no sports commentator or expert, but they appeared to come on strong early with their pitching resources and then pull that strength a tad early.  I’m guessing there is some review of resource application going on right now.

The obvious analogy for life is all about how we use our resources in daily living.  In my Facebook Group I have been running a free challenge called Free to Focus (on the F#$Ks you WANT to give) which is all about resource allocation.  When you apply your resources to the f#$s you WANT to give, you gain something: time, money, energy or a combination.  The implication is that you do this consciously and correct as needed.

We all make mistakes, this is part of our humanity.

This is how a world series should be: the best of the best working their hardest to take the victory.  This is good sports.  A tied series in game 2 is excellence in action.

I’m not pissed at our coaching staff at the Dodgers.  Not yet anyway.  They made a call, they gave their f#$ks where they thought best, and it didn’t work out. What they do now with that lesson matters.

Just as it does when you make a mistake and misallocate your f#$ks.  What you do next matters.

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy Life Coach

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

One Minute Musing: Traditions

The Dodgers, my Dodgers won last night in game 1.  I watched with my son, my brothers in different states watched with their children, just as we had watched with my mom and dad and our parents had watched with theirs and generations of Dodger fans in my family had watched before us. I remember baseball always being a thing in our family.

Rabid fans? No.  Solid fans? Yes.

My son was fascinated at how engaged I was in the game – he typically watched football while I half pay attention while doing something else.  This time, I did nothing but watch and he was intrigued.  I realized I hadn’t passed this tradition on quite like I had wanted.  He didn’t know he needed to root for Blue.  He didn’t know the names of our players or anything about the team.

So, we talked about it and I shared my memories of laying on the floor in my grandparents living room coloring or reading while my Grampa watched the game and alternately cheered and jeered with disgust at the boys in blue.  And how I would watch the games with my parents and we went through a drought time when all we could get was Northern California TV so we had to watch the A’s and Giants and hope for an odd broadcast of a Dodger Game; pre-cable era TV was feast or famine.

Traditions are important when they are important to you. This one is important to me and I think I’ll keep it around a while. Go Blue!

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy Life Coach

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

One Minute Musing: Weak Links

Over the weekend my son and I traveled to a soccer tournament almost 2 hours away – both days.  4 hours on the road meant lots of time for podcasts.  I chose Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History for our trip and encountered an interesting thread embedded in one where he was talking about college education and endowment funding.

The podcast itself was riveting, but the part that caught my attention the most was about soccer and it being a weak link sport. In other words….the team is only as good as it’s weakest link.  The best player on the team is no use if the other players can’t pass well enough to get him the ball.  The best defense in the world isn’t enough if the goal keeper can’t stop the ball…etc.  He referred to the book “The Numbers Game” by Christopher Anderson and I now have it on hold at the library.  (amazon link)

As a soccer mom and a student of human beings and leadership, this concept fascinates me and I can’t wait to read and learn more. It begged the question…where are the weak links in my world and how can I train them to be better?

Where can you?

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy Life Coach

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

FALL INTO SOMETHING GOOD

Does your career leave you feeling like you fell into a vat of poo?

Is every day like swimming with concrete floaties?

Do you dread the day to tasks of being where you are?

You are not alone.

I was you once upon a time.

I blamed the dissatisfaction I felt in so many areas on the dissatisfaction I felt at work. I knew if I could find happiness at work, I’d be happier overall.

Research proves this: when you have a higher sense of career well being you feel a higher overall sense of well being.

Cool. How do you get it?

1. You fall into something good.

Instead of constantly bitching about how shitty your circumstance is, find the good. There is some small sense of goodness there. Maybe it is simply that the paycheck meets yours needs. That is good. Find the good to fall into every day and you will attract more good.

2. You act with good intention

You take action that are good for you. You eat right, you declutter, you drink water, you surround yourself with good high vibe people. You take action that you know is positive energy for you.

3. You get creative.

You look for the things you can shape to your style and you do it. The activities, events and processes that are tailorable, you tailor in such a way that you can find positive energy in them. This might mean a mindset shift, or a physical overhaul – or anywhere in between.

These three things have infinite numbers of outcomes ranging from finding a higher degree of satisfaction where you are or striking the entrepreneurial path. Wherever your energy takes you, falling in love with your career and satisfying that sense of “more” you have been craving is important for your overall well-being.

What are you going to fall into?

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 amI am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

I’M SO OVER…EVERYONE…

My inner bitch goes on a rampage sometimes, and it’s kinda fun. Seriously, if you could hear my inner dialogue at times, you would seriously wonder if I even like people.

 

The answer is sometimes.

 

But sometimes, I am so over everyone…I just can’t.

 

I can’t listen to one more story of learned helplessness.

 

I can’t deal with one more poor me my Mercedes is dirty rant.

 

I can’t watch one more beneficiary of privilege bemoaning the state of the world while sipping a double non-fat, no whip pumpkin spice whatever. (And I don’t even get the whole pumpkin spice fascination, I mean I love pumpkin but for reals with the obsession??)

 

And I can’t deal with fall lovers and pumpkins on front porches in mid-September (dude, it’s 95 degrees, that shit is going to rot!).

 

Yes, this all goes through my head.

 

We all have these moments, or days, or even weeks.  And I think it’s okay.  It’s okay to be cynical and snarky and indulge your inner bitch (even if you are a dude) from time to time.

 

You are human, it’s okay.  You aren’t any less spiritual than anyone else.  You aren’t an uncaring person and you don’t have to beat yourself up for years and days and go see a spiritual guru to heal you.  You need to admit you are human.

 

Now, if this way of thinking begins to dominate you, begins to be your decision maker and makes you intolerant of people, situations and ideas around you on a large scale you might need to seek help.  You might need to get some perspective from a healer, coach or a therapist.  Sometimes, we just get some wires crossed in our lives and need a little help uncrossing them.

 

I am a healer and a coach.  I work with people sometimes who have created this trap for themselves – the I am so over everyone mindset that has taken root. I usually use a combination of healing and coaching to unburden the mind, body and soul from whatever has taken root there and let the person see with fresh eyes and enable the resilience within them to make the shift into the optimal life they are capable of living. In many cases, this is the first step in coaching with someone – to free them from their own cage.

 

Which are you?  In a moment of snark and indulging your inner bitch, or in need of fresh perspective and ways to break free of the cage you constructed around yourself?

 

Apply for a Lackluster to Limitless Session with me if you find yourself in the cage – I can help you jailbreak!

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

Are you Acting Like you Want what You Want?

You walking around saying you want stuff and not actually acting to get it?

That’s pure silliness.

We see this a lot and it seems normal: many walk around wishing and wanting and aspiring…then not doing anything at all.

Society tells us to be normal, toe the line and be a part of what everyone else is doing. We do it…because well, that seems like the thing to do. Doing anything different would be weird – just ask everyone.

It takes some balls to stand up and say, “I will create what I want to create even though it is different!”

It takes more balls to act on it.

Top 5 things to adopt right now to start acting like you want what you want:

  1. Start saying I will instead of I want and see how your intent and phrasing changes.
  2. Start scheduling and allocating energy to the things you put on the ‘will do’ list.
  3. Release your attachment to fitting in: visualize your ideal state of being and accept one element at a time from that vision. Then act on your acceptance by doing it.
  4. Ask yourself why you are doing something you don’t love? Then ask what action you can take to replace it with something you love. Then do it.
  5. Love yourself enough to be your authentic, kickass self.

This isn’t rocket science – intellectually I know you understood this deep inside.  Emotionally though, we crave that acceptance of seeming “normal”. Let it go, no one is truly normal…we are all in some way different, we just squish it below the glaze of normality.

I’m done squishing stuff under that glaze. I’m done doing stuff because everyone else is or thinks I should.  As a result, I am MUCH happier, healthier and in love with me and my life.

You can create your own path, forge your own way and live a super awesome amazing life.  Start accepting that and be truly you.

Act like you want what you want and you will get it.

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

 

The Complaint I hear Most

The single most common complaint I hear is:      

“I feel like all I do is work”

Or the family person version:

“All I do is work and do things with the family”

What they are really saying is they feel less than fulfilled.  They feel there is more out there.  They feel bored and want more.

Many aren’t sure what they’d do if they could do anything else.  Some have a clear picture of exactly what they’d do.

In both cases, as soon as the possibility of more is approached, resistance flies up like a barricade at a court house parking entry.

Basically, we aren’t happy with what is happening, but when the chance to change pops up, we feel like we can’t.  Pretty messed up right?

About a year ago, I was talking with a former colleague and she was sharing a dream of a business that embraced one of her passions.  As she spoke, she was glowing, literally glowing.  She had the whole idea mapped in her head and described it in such amazing detail that I could see it.  It is a gorgeous idea and she is perfect for it.

Tapping in to her excitement, I asked if she had thought about location.  She had and went on to describe it.

I pushed a little further and asked when.

The reasons why she couldn’t then came tumbling out: obligation to her mortgage, her corporate career, jeopardizing her retirement, her husband’s expectations and the belief that she just couldn’t.

This is a very common story.

The successful professional who wants more, but can’t seem to have it.  The more isn’t always a business idea.  Sometimes it is a desire to be able to sit down and relax at night – without the stress of work preying on them.  It is the desire for a life outside of work that is fun, filled with good friends and experiences that enrich their life, leaving them energized to go to a job they can love more fully since the rest of life is pretty awesome.

When I was hired at my last corporate job, one of the reasons I took the job was something my hiring manager said: “I believe in working to live, not living to work.” For as long as I worked for her, she lived by this.  She was supportive to her team in this philosophy in a corporate environment that didn’t always agree with her on that thought. Despite this awesome environment, I still found myself living to work.

In my years of working in large organizations, as a leader in the US Army and then again in corporate America, I observed three reasons we feel this “all I do is work” feeling:

  1. Society tells us this is the right thing to do, everyone else is so we follow along.
  2. We agree to focus on work temporarily for a big project or busy time then…it never ends and becomes routine.
  3. We never saw a different way: this was what our parents or mentors did, what we perceived was right and we followed the example of those we admired and loved.

 

All three impacted my life.  All three shaped the definition of success I pursued which was aligned primarily around a solid career.  If it enabled some cool stuff in the rest of my life that was great – I saw it as a bonus.

If this is you, you can shift this. 

One day I decided to listen to that calling from within asking for “more”.  Not knowing what “more” was for me, I engaged a life coach who helped me figure it out.  I moved away from living to work and having a life that had a successful career to living a successful life where I have a job I love. I feel the fullness of a lifestyle that supports my continued experience in this world – the experience I get to create anew each day.

How I shifted it:

  1. Engaging help – I got mine from a life coach, like me.
  2. Being open to possibilities and willing to change somethings in my life.
  3. Acknowledging that the life I was living wasn’t my dream life and taking the time to develop the picture of what I wanted.
  4. Taking immediate action to start living that life I wanted.
  5. Continuing to act, even when it was hard.

You can do this too. Are you ready to move beyond the complaint?

Start now.  If you need help, apply for my lackluster to limitless energizer session and we will spend an hour on your plan.

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 amHi, I am Jennifer Murphy.  I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives – the ones that include work, but aren’t entirely work.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created.