One Minute Musing: The Nature of Wind

Growing up in my mountain town we had these powerful winds that blew through called Mono Winds.  They’d take out the weaker trees, discover which roofs needed new shingles and blow people around as they tried to do just about anything. They could be disruptive and dangerous.

I loved to lay in bed and listen to their rumbling and screaming through the oak and pine trees outside my window, branches scratching at the glass. Their eerie sounds were somehow soothing. It was just nature doing what nature did.

The simplicity of those moments came back to me as I fell asleep to the sound of wind outside my window last night.  A different landscape produces different sounds: a city-scape now instead of a forest and a rolling hills country instead of mountains.  But still, nature did what nature does, and I just got to listen.

We aren’t in charge of everything. Wind will do what it needs to do, and we don’t have to do anything except bear witness.  A reminder, we simply coexist.

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy Life Coach

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

One Minute Musing: Weak Links

Over the weekend my son and I traveled to a soccer tournament almost 2 hours away – both days.  4 hours on the road meant lots of time for podcasts.  I chose Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History for our trip and encountered an interesting thread embedded in one where he was talking about college education and endowment funding.

The podcast itself was riveting, but the part that caught my attention the most was about soccer and it being a weak link sport. In other words….the team is only as good as it’s weakest link.  The best player on the team is no use if the other players can’t pass well enough to get him the ball.  The best defense in the world isn’t enough if the goal keeper can’t stop the ball…etc.  He referred to the book “The Numbers Game” by Christopher Anderson and I now have it on hold at the library.  (amazon link)

As a soccer mom and a student of human beings and leadership, this concept fascinates me and I can’t wait to read and learn more. It begged the question…where are the weak links in my world and how can I train them to be better?

Where can you?

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy Life Coach

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

One Minute Musing: I Refuse to be Stress’s Bitch

I read an article recently that referred to the Japanese principle of Kaizen.  It inspired the author to take one minute each day to progress with something she wanted.  The article is called, “Overcoming Laziness: The Japanese Principle of Kaizen” by Dondi Leigh.

I was inspired to take action with this as well but wasn’t sure which direction to aim this intention.  Then it smacked me upside the head: my writing.

I get ideas ALL THE TIME and I don’t always follow them because I feel time constrained. So I decided to implement One Minute Musings.   Little bites of reality as I see them, lessons to learn or things I need to share with the world.

I am sure some of these will become bigger articles, but One Minute Musings is exactly what I need “write” now (haha I love my own jokes!)

So here is number one, I woke up with this today….

My neck aches, my back groans. My hips feel rusty!  Seriously, I am only 42 and I feel like I imagine an 80-year-old without an ounce of yoga under her belt would feel.

It’s time to let go of some stress.  I have been going, going, going and I’m going to take my own advice and stop – relax and be present.  Enjoy all the things I have going on and fuck the rest.

Stress sucks and I refuse to become her bitch again.

Join my Facebook Group to see these daily!

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy Life Coach

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

Looking for More?

It is literally just sinking in…

I wrote a fucking book.

And published it.

I seriously did.

It’s crazy and insane to realize a dream.

It feels soooo right and soooooo weird all at the same time.

But that is what it is like when you do something you have been dreaming about for a long ass time.

I felt this way when:

I graduated college
Both times I got married (and divorced)
When I got my MBA
At my military commissioning
I traveled overseas for the first time
My first kiss (and sex)
I got promoted for the first time
I opened my own business
Received my coaching certification
Began teaching at the college level
Got accepted to my doctoral program

And on and on….

You probably have a list too.

Is everything you dream of on the already did it side?

gawd I hope not.

But there are a few things right?

We can put more on that side and take them off the wish I could side

To include…defining that “more” you keep wanting but can’t figure out.

I remember that feeling well also…I remember telling a good friend I knew there was more for me…that there was more to life than routine and retirement…but I didn’t know WHAT.

I want to help you if this is you. That is the major motivation behind the book. To help you create an awesome life that knows what the more is and has a plan to go get it.

Buy the book, join my Art of Living Dangerously Facebook group and find your more.

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

I’M SO OVER…EVERYONE…

My inner bitch goes on a rampage sometimes, and it’s kinda fun. Seriously, if you could hear my inner dialogue at times, you would seriously wonder if I even like people.

 

The answer is sometimes.

 

But sometimes, I am so over everyone…I just can’t.

 

I can’t listen to one more story of learned helplessness.

 

I can’t deal with one more poor me my Mercedes is dirty rant.

 

I can’t watch one more beneficiary of privilege bemoaning the state of the world while sipping a double non-fat, no whip pumpkin spice whatever. (And I don’t even get the whole pumpkin spice fascination, I mean I love pumpkin but for reals with the obsession??)

 

And I can’t deal with fall lovers and pumpkins on front porches in mid-September (dude, it’s 95 degrees, that shit is going to rot!).

 

Yes, this all goes through my head.

 

We all have these moments, or days, or even weeks.  And I think it’s okay.  It’s okay to be cynical and snarky and indulge your inner bitch (even if you are a dude) from time to time.

 

You are human, it’s okay.  You aren’t any less spiritual than anyone else.  You aren’t an uncaring person and you don’t have to beat yourself up for years and days and go see a spiritual guru to heal you.  You need to admit you are human.

 

Now, if this way of thinking begins to dominate you, begins to be your decision maker and makes you intolerant of people, situations and ideas around you on a large scale you might need to seek help.  You might need to get some perspective from a healer, coach or a therapist.  Sometimes, we just get some wires crossed in our lives and need a little help uncrossing them.

 

I am a healer and a coach.  I work with people sometimes who have created this trap for themselves – the I am so over everyone mindset that has taken root. I usually use a combination of healing and coaching to unburden the mind, body and soul from whatever has taken root there and let the person see with fresh eyes and enable the resilience within them to make the shift into the optimal life they are capable of living. In many cases, this is the first step in coaching with someone – to free them from their own cage.

 

Which are you?  In a moment of snark and indulging your inner bitch, or in need of fresh perspective and ways to break free of the cage you constructed around yourself?

 

Apply for a Lackluster to Limitless Session with me if you find yourself in the cage – I can help you jailbreak!

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created and I am here to share and teach you exactly how to do the same for yourself.

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well as a working glass artist, Reiki Master, Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10-year-old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

Advice for Aspiring Coaches

Life Coaching. It attracts people as a profession.

And for good reason.

There are a lot of us out there wondering if we are doing it right.  We question how we can be better. We seek self-help support and we attend classes and events like Leslie Knope seeks waffles (Parks and Rec Reference – watch it if you haven’t, it’s awesome and hilarious).

We are told we offer great advice and people constantly come to us for our wisdom and support.

We think, “I should get paid for this.” When we look at how it’s possible, the easiest path appears to be Life Coaching:

  • Becoming a licensed counselor of any sort requires schooling and there are tons of restrictions.
  • Writing a book feels super hard for reasons from the physical writing to the finding a publisher to the dubious path of self-publishing and rejection.
  • As we cast about for an option, Life Coaching shows up, because it is truly an open field = literally anyone can name themselves a life coach and so it is.

I get approached on this A LOT.  A. LOT.  Emails, coffees, “Quick questions” and clients interested.  Some are interested in how I did it so they can do it too.  I share the same advice over and over, it makes sense to share it here.

Some Facts about the Industry

In 2016 the International Coaches Federation published a Global Coaching Study.  This study shared a few facts like:

  • More than 53,000 Life coaches are working today
  • The average hourly rate for a life coach exceeds $200 and coaches earn an average $51,000 per year
  • 99% had some sort of coach specific training and 81% received accredited training to become certified as a coach

I encourage you to read this brief on the study which shares the highlights.

You can download additional information and/or purchase the full study here .

I share these specific facts because it is easy, super easy, to get caught up on the idea that glamorous lifestyle and coaching are synonymous.  We aren’t all Tony Robbins or Martha Beck.  We aren’t all taking monthly trips to Bali for “retreat” and it isn’t raining $1000s in our living room.  That, my friends, is amazing marketing by business coaches.  It is tough to achieve in 30 days, or even 1 year.  It does take work.

Yes. It is possible to create a successful career as a life coach.

Here is a great satirical look at this phenomenon…good for a giggle ( I LOVE JP Sears work, seriously check out his videos, super awesome):

 

Six Pieces of Advice

Here is the advice I give to people who ask me about being a life coach:

  1. Research:  Put all your questions into the search engine of your choosing and see what kind of answers spew out. You definitely need to read more than just this post – there are tons of experts out there with more than tons of opinions, information caches and expertise to offer.
  2. Ask and Answer these Questions: Why DO I want to be a Life Coach?  What kinds of Problems do I want to solve?
  3. Visit the ICF website and consume all you can about the industry.
  4. Identify how comfortable you are with marketing and sales – you will have to do this as a life coach.
  5. Talk to those closest to you in your life and see what they say.  Take their questions or concerns and research them further.  Figure out how you can make this work – and if you still want to.
  6. Once you have done all of that: engage a life coach.

This last one may seem self-serving.  It’s not.  Having a life coach gives you the exposure to what it feels like to be a client – you need to be a client. Your coach can help you make sense of all the things you researched and discovered in steps 1-5, organize your plan of action and help you move through the process of transforming from where you are to where you want to go.  I won’t advise someone on coaching unless they are willing to be a client themselves.

What?  I need a Coach?

Just like an athlete is coached to improve time, speed, accuracy, strength, skill.  A life coach can help you navigate your improvements to confidence, clarity, and decision making while offering support and accountability.

It is quite possible that even if after spending the time researching all you can, you still have reservations.  A life coach can help you work through those to get the answers right for you.  Life Coaching may not be the answer to your career or calling question.  But following this path can help you discover what is.

A great book to read in this area of calling and sticking to things is Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth. I love everything she has to say about goal setting, purpose finding, and sticking with things. I recommend grabbing a copy and a highlighter and get to reading.

The First Conversation with an Aspiring Coach

I love helping people answer this question of “How do I become a life coach?”.  I love it. And I will tell you, the conversation usually starts out like this:

Me:  Soooo tell me why you want to be a life coach!

You (ubiquitous form): 

“I love people and they are always coming to me for advice and telling me I give such good input.”

OR

“I want a job that pays me well and provides tons of freedom. I love helping people so this made sense.”

OR

“I want to help other people do something they love. My life is kind of a mess right now and if I can start a job I love then I think it’ll straighten out and I can help other people do the same”

And my Favorite – this is the answer I want more than anything:

“I want to work with people to realize what they are capable of and help them get it in a specific area of their life.”

This last person is clear on what they are looking for in seeking coaching as a career.  The previous 3 answers aren’t horrible entry points because they all possess a sincere desire to figure out how to help someone live optimally. An awesome starting position and in many cases help is only needed in getting specific.

These answers create different starting points into becoming a life coach:

  • You may need to do some work in your life first.
  • You may need to do some work getting clear on what you want to do and how.
  • You may need to clarify your own vision.

Being a Good Listener isn’t All there is to Being a Life Coach

Wait. Whaaaaaaaaaaat?

Giving advice is very little of what we do – we are here to help others discover their strengths and what optimal living looks like for them.  That isn’t advice based on our personal experience, it is expertise based on research, experience and training.

Yes, you must be able to listen.  Then you translate what you have heard into insight for the client – actionable insight: a question, an observation, a clarifying point to validate.  You guide them through self-discovery exercises and exploratory experiences.  The focus is 100% on what the client can discover through the lens you can share with them.

You must be able to set ego aside and be fully present – this may be the first time this person has ever been truly heard.  It’s life changing.

Again, another giggle worthy take on this: Shit Life Coaches Say

It’s funny, cuz it’s true.

Your Next Steps

If you are ready to do your research on this as a career, follow the 5 steps I outlined above then contact a coach.  I’d be happy to do a free 1-hour session with you to follow up on your learning and help you find a coach whether it is me or someone in my network based on what you want to do.

We may also find you are a good fit for my Coach’s Collective Membership Group where we explore coaching from multiple dimensions and share expertise among professional coaches across the globe.

Email at jennifer@nolimitslife.guru and we will get something set up.

And in case you haven’t yet caught on, I do view coaching a serious business.  These are people’s lives. And yet…life is funny.  Look for the giggle worthy.

Best of luck on your exploration!

P.S.  You may have noticed I didn’t talk about business plans, technology, websites, blog presence or networking.  I advise getting clear inside on what you want and how, first.  Once you get clear, you’ll be able to whip that stuff out much easier. Your web designer will thank you.

 

 

 

photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

Jennifer Murphy – Certified Personal and Executive Coach

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created.

My background is 10 years in the US Army as an officer, 10 years in Corporate America and then the last 6 running my own business. I have deployed twice in combat scenarios, worked with foreign governments and militaries and worked extensively in international business.  I have an undergraduate in Criminology, an MBA and certification in Positive Psychology. I have led organizations from 3-400 and love developing people and helping them create their next steps in life and work. 

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well we a working glass artist, Reiki Master,  Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10 year old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Break Away From the Group

Yesterday I took my son to Maquoketa Caves State Park. It is what it sounds like: caves in a park. And it’s awesome.
 
While there we saw a lot of things I could write about which promote conformity and crush, absolutely crush freedom. I could be disheartened by a few of the things I saw, instead let’s reflect.
 
A daycare group was there at the same time. The canyon rang with not the sounds of nature, but the sounds of daycare providers wrangling their charges.
 
“Don’t climb on that”
“Stay on the path”
“be quiet” (what?)
“Not so fast”
 
and my favorite “You’ll get dirty, stop that.”
 
Strip away the safety concerns. I get those and as a mom whose kid has been in daycare, appreciate them.
 
Children + Park = so much experience to be had.
 
Yet time and again they were reigned in, curiosity squashed, interaction terminated and opportunity to immerse in what their bodies and souls were craving crushed.
 
Meanwhile, my same aged son is terrifying me with his daredevil perches on out-croppings. We engage fully with wet muddy shoes and body and sprints down trails to the next adventure.
 
We played hop rock in the creek at one point and came across a fawn serenely grazing 6 feet from us. We watched in wonder for about 20 minutes outlasting any group that joined us during that time.
 
Several times we found ourselves alone in a cave or on a trail simply being as we felt and tuned in to the amazing earth and water energy surrounding us.
 
I have no interest in curbing enthusiasm. I have zero energy for “stay in line” outside of a real safety concern.
 
What those kids experienced yesterday happens every day to all ages: the idea that you have to stay with the group and do what the group is doing and don’t dare to explore your own path – it’s dangerous and you may do something the rest of the group isn’t ready for.
 
But maybe you are ready to do something dangerous.
 
If it’s time to unleash your inner warrior and get dangerous,
I have something for you.
 
It’s the five week warrior club. Info session is Sunday at 5pm. I’ll share the 5 key tenets of freedom as I teach them and gift you a guide and video series as part of the webinar.
 
I’ll also tell you about the club and how it could impact you and your quest for freedom.
 
Don’t be those kids all grown up and your daycare provider simultaneously. Stop telling yourself to stay in line and stop allowing others to tell you that. Start being dangerous: be you.
 
Interested? register here: http://eepurl.com/cZbvZL
photo jun 20, 8 27 31 am

I am a certified personal and executive coach ruthlessly focused on helping people live awesome lives.  I spent a large chunk of my life pursuing other people’s ideas of success and while those experiences were sublime in some cases, they weren’t the “more” I was seeking and I just never felt full. In 2011, I made the commitment to live life on my terms and everything changed. The life I love today was created.

My background is 10 years in the US Army as an officer, 10 years in Corporate America and then the last 6 running my own business. I have deployed twice in combat scenarios, worked with foreign governments and militaries and worked extensively in international business.  I have an undergraduate in Criminology, an MBA and certification in Positive Psychology. I have led organizations from 3-400 and love developing people and helping them create their next steps in life and work. 

I am founder of No Limits Life Empowerment Institute as well we a working glass artist, Reiki Master,  Partner in Shaman Grocer in Iowa City, and Co-founder of the Midwest Reiki Festival.    My favorite time is spent doing anything soccer related with my aspiring world cup soccer player, 10 year old Alexander.  I am also a pretty big fan of gaming (PS4) with my partner Craig while solving the world’s social problems.