How do you Define Living Dangerously?

 Take a moment and consider what feels most dangerous to you: is it physical, spiritual, intellectual or emotional in nature?

Conventional wisdom would suggest all kinds of radical options.  As I have asked this question in workshops and discussions I have heard a few!   Things like:

skydiving

motorcycle racing

speaking in public

falling in love

climbing a mountain

swimming with sharks

parenting (that got a good giggle)

 

There were a ton of other physical risks that have come up in response to this question.  And yes, these things are risky…but if you notice, most people head right for the physical risks with the exception of falling in love.

These are easy answers – pick something with the potential to inflict bodily harm and we can all agree that it is dangerous.   Right?

Yes.

There is another way to think about it though and that is what I want to focus on.

The Art of Living Dangerously creates the path to you skydiving, moto title winning or swimming with sharks. This path fires your emotional, intellectual and spiritual body – more than your physical.   What if we think about living dangerously in these terms:

  • Being afraid and doing it anyway
  • Knowing there is more and going for it
  • Trying new things – taking the leap
  • Seeing new perspectives
  • Experiencing instead of Existing
  • Living by your values
  • Never settling
  • Transcending expectations
  • Having faith in limitless possibilities

Imagine you lived in opposition to any of those thoughts…let’s take “Having faith in limitless possibilities” first.  What would it mean if you have faith in limitless possibilities?  Consider an area of your life you feel stuck or trapped in, it could be anything from a relationship, a job, a volunteer commitment or a belief.

For example when I was wanting to become a life coach, I was very locked into the idea that I couldn’t leave my 6 figure job and the obligations it had created or my life would fall apart.  There were a lot of trapped and stuck attachments there:

  1. I had accumulated debt directly correlated to the amount of money I had: cars, houses, lines of credit, etc.
  2. I did enjoy my job and did well at it. I loved the people I worked with and generally enjoyed seeing them.  Yet I didn’t feel inspired by my job, I didn’t see how my role was really serving others in the way I wanted to.
  3. I had an idea of what people expected me to be and I was fearful of disappointing them.
  4. My family had become accustomed to my salary, my schedule and my life the way it impacted them; and I couldn’t let them be affected by my desires – they needed to always take first priority.

When my life coach suggested that it was possible for me to create the life I wanted if I dedicated myself to figuring out what it was, I resisted at first.  I was so focused on the narrow range of options I had decided were available that it was a good year of coaching with her before I was able to really open up to all of the things that could be if I allowed them into my life.

I had to do a few things to move past my self-created opposition to possibilities:

  1. I had to decide what an ideal day for me would look like.
  2. Sorting out what was important and what wasn’t to me then taking action to get free of what wasn’t.
  3. Realign my time to support what I wanted instead of what I felt like I “should be” doing.
  4. Starting to create that Ideal by pulling elements from it into the life I was living then.

On a daily basis I would ask myself “is this getting me closer or farther away from the life I truly want?” as I encountered challenges and opportunities.

I learned that not everything is worth the fight.

Over the next few weeks I will be tackling each of those Living Dangerously ideas as I prepare for my 2016 Art of Living Dangerously Creation Experience here in Cedar Rapids Iowa on September 9th and 10th.  You can take a look at the agenda here and then grab early bird registration before August 15th.

I hope you’ll stay tuned to this blog and follow the steps to both the idea of living dangerously and the way I overcame my opposition to it!

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

The Art of Living Dangerously Creation Experience

Life on auto-pilot requires very little engagement from you – it’s same day different stuff…

The Art of Living Dangerously means you are the driver, the pilot the one making all the decisions…It’s new day, new experiences, every day.

The Art of Living Dangerously Creation Experience is a full day event in Cedar Rapids Iowa on September 10th with a bonus VIP evening the night prior September 9 (2016).

Here are just a few of things we will do:

Shine a light into the darkest recesses of your consciousness to invite  your true life’s purpose out to play
Mentor you as you create the path to make your purpose much more than a dream and turn it into your reality
Work through mindfulness, meditation and self-awareness exercises to bring you closer to the real you and minimize the impact of the expectations of others in your life
Create an action plan to move you to where you want to be in daily living

You will walk away from this event: 
feeling energized
engaged with your life
in love with your next steps
excited to move into the energy that is really you

Yes, it would be a full day and evening away from family, obligations and more…but you deserve it.  You deserve this time to focus on you, your dreams and take good stock of where you are going and how you will get there.

Here is what that evening and day will look like:

VIP Event September 9, 6-9pm      Main Event: September 10, 10a-4p

VIP Event, held in the No Limits Life Coaching and Glass Studio: Register

6-6:30 – Meet and Greet time, grab refreshments and use the handout provided to meet everyone in the room, find your nest for the evening

6:30-7:00 – Opening meditation and centering with Jennifer Murphy

7:00-8:00 – The No Limits Team Coaches

8:00-9:00 – Face and Erase limits to living the life you crave with Jennifer Murphy

Attendees Receive: A meditation focal object and recorded meditations

 

Main Event, held in the Conference Room, Adam Building: Register

Doors open at 9:30 with morning refreshments

10:00a Opening and Introductions

10:30a Defining Your Callings: 3 paths to identifying what you should be doing with your life

11:30a  Clarifying your Callings:  one on one coaching with peers and professional coaches to help you clarify your calling

12:30p Lunch

1:00p  4 M’s and an S: Mindfulness, Meditation, Manifestation and Self-Awareness

2:30p  The Art of Action: Create a mind mapping style vision board and schedule activities to shape the reality you want.  Coaches will be available for private discussion during this time.

3:30p Closing Exercises: Meditation, Take Away Experiences and Maintenance Recommendations

4:00p The After Workshop discussion

Attendees Receive: Notebook/Workbook

Register for early bird admission thru August 15th

Full admission goes into effect on August 16th

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

 

Why Permission is Important

The other day I said, “you have to give yourself permission to do that” and my client looked at me and said, “why is that so important?

Yes, it is a “coachism”, but it is also an important energetic step toward change in many cases. Yet when my client challenged me, I found myself digging deeper for the real answer instead of the safe answer to her question.

It led me to my own journaling on the idea so that I could get really clear on why I tell people to do this, instead of just tossing that out there as a spiritual platitude or to sound like a sage (gag!).

What I came up with was both stabilizing and fresh for me:

  • Permission is important because it opens you up to possibility
  • Permission is important because you are conscious when you GIVE permission – think of it as a permission slip you would sign for a childs’ field trip – this one for a journey of your conscious mind and spirit.
  • Permission is important because of the explicit NO it gives to things you don’t want. By saying yes to something you fill the void waiting – when you implicitly make decisions the void simply gets filled by whatever passes by.
  • Permission is important because by God it is yours to give. No one else gets to say yes or no for you – it’s yours to give: your decision, your right, your choice.

Let’s look at the flip side for a second: Have you ever thought about not being specific and where that gets you?  Not usually where you want to be right?  When you can’t invest in the work to make the small decisions, how on earth would you expect to get to the clarity the big ones need.

Giving yourself permission to explore specific and non-specific ideas, to do or not do something, it is FIRM.  It is unyielding and it is decisive – taking a stance and holding it.  You have drawn the line in the sand with whatever you have given permission to.  It is courageous and will absolutely provide you enhanced clarity in the next step of whatever you are doing.

So yes, you can write this phrase off as something we coaches and spiritualists toss out as woowoo platitudinal mumbo jumbo that is designed purely to assuage your guilt and “move you past” something.  Or you can get serious about intention, about possibility and about what you allow or don’t allow in your life.

Spiritual Platitudes are the band-aids on the sucking chest wounds of our self-inflicted spiritual trauma – they do no good and usually just pile on to the problem.  Permission – intentional decision making – is about proactively engaging in your life, your energetic commitments and your role here in this lifetime.

Grant yourself permission to be courageous and commit to intentional decision making – what do you need to give yourself permission for right now? 

Love? Space? Time? Relationships? Inquiry? Possibility? Money? Health?  the list can go on and on.

Then you want to say something like this:

Today I give myself permission for abundance – to allow in the wealth and security I know I am capable of and to give myself permission to let go of feelings of lack and insecurity. I give myself permission to give no quarter to lack. 

It’s a decision, not a platitude. It’s a position of strength, not weakness.  And permission is yours to dole out to you – go for it.

 

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

 

 

From Passenger to Driver

The moment we give power to ourselves, crossing over from the passenger’s seat to the driver’s seat, we can never go back. I spent most of my life in the passenger’s seat: creating by default and wondering what was around the corner that I needed to protect myself from. In fact, I would say that all of my life was dedicated towards avoiding the bad, expecting and enjoying good things never crossed my mind.

It was a big bad world and people were out to get me. My first real job was in a call center. Those of you who have ever worked in one can relate to those people who were so terribly rude. I never knew how I was going to feel, I was a dumping ground for everyone else’s bad days-it wasn’t unusual to be yelled at and called names. I’d leave work feeling miserable, sad and defeated. I felt helpless and at the mercy of others, stuck in a vicious circle of blame.

It wasn’t just isolated to work, I could blame others for making me feel bad at home and in the general public too. I remember vividly wanting a lip ring in my early 20s, I thought it was the coolest thing ever and the day I got it I was so excited to show my family. I was really, really excited, I felt so confident and cool. I’ll never forget the look on my grandpa’s face when he said I “looked like crap”. My confidence and joy plummeted immediately, I began to question my own judgment. How could I have possibly wanted that?! I went from shear excitement to sadness in about 5 seconds.

In those days people made me feel things. If they told me how stupid I was, I felt like shit and surely they were right. They had the power to make me feel bad.

One day I woke up. I woke up to the concept that I own how I feel, no one else has the power to make me feel anything, it’s all my choice. Just because someone had a bad day and called me stupid because they weren’t getting their way, didn’t mean I had to feel bad. I jumped over that middle console right into the driver’s seat. With that jump I was empowered to experience life in the way that I wanted to.

It was an amazing concept that I was able to experience stability in my emotions. The ups and downs I experienced from reacting to everyone else’s behavior simply didn’t exist unless I allowed them to. It is a great power to have back in my hands, control. This power comes with accountability though. In having the power to choose my feelings I still had bad days. I’d catch myself slipping back and blaming the jerk who cut me off in traffic for sending me into rage and I had to push myself to be aware and take accountability for how I feel.

Don’t waste another day living in the passenger’s seat, own your emotions and know that you are the only one that can make you feel anything. You are unique with your own perspective that is just as valuable as anyone else’s.

 

Abby

Abby Wickersheim is a life coach on the No Limits Life team.  Her focus is working with people to align their personal energetic vibration with the vibration of what they truly want to create.  She uses her personal coaching program “Positive on Purpose” to guide people from frustrated and blocked to open and positive. Learn more at www.nolimitslife.guru

 

Spiritual Lessons from Screenworld

I’m a hopeless romantic.

There!  I said it!

I dream of having a life in which the hustle and bustle of modern life is brought to a screeching halt, in favor of a simpler, quieter, slower lifestyle.  So, whenever there is a discussion about computers, technology, phones, or other tech-related subjects, I easily move into my grumpy mode.  I am not a fan of technology, and try to use it as sparingly as possible.

And I’m writing this on a computer!  (Okay…so I’m not a consistent hopeless romantic.)

Back in my monk days, I was taught that everything is useful, if used in moderation.  From pens and paper to books and computers, I was encouraged to discover the meaning of moderation and how it translated into daily life with anything and everything.  This approach startles me out of my grumpy mode to shake me out of a false idealism, and engage everything around me with moderation and wisdom.

I firmly believe that technology has lessons for us with regard to the spiritual path, if only we stop, attentively observe, and uncover those nuggets of wisdom.  Below are a few of the lessons I have gleaned from the “screen world.”

  1. The world – the universe – is HUGE! Yes, this is a “no-duh” thing to say, but technology has really made this a tangible reality.  The sheer amount of information, data and people we can access and influence is truly incredible.  Nearly anything can be understood or studied in depth, with very little time or effort.

The spiritual value of this is sheer awareness; we are part of an immense reality that we are barely conscious of.  If we allow our conscious awareness to expand through mindfulness and meditation, we can begin to see how the immense complexity of life knits itself together into a profound simplicity.

2. We are capable of miracles, once we focus and set our mind to it. I was watching a TV show that first aired when I was a kid, and realized that everyone on the show had corded phones and no privacy.  What a difference a few years made!  Now you can talk, text, email, you-name-it, from anywhere.

 And all of this was possible because of people who dedicated their mental, physical and spiritual energies toward solving problems, and helping the human community become more informed and connected.  If you sit and think about it, these devices we take for granted are truly the stuff of miracles.

 Our own lives are also capable of miracles.  Every time we decide to serve the needs of others; when we choose to change our career path because we desire lives of meaning and value; when we finally leave a toxic friendship or close relationship, in favor of life-giving interactions, we are making a miracle happen.

 3. Comparison kills. Social media is a wonderful way to stay connected to others, and it also contains a potential trap in the mind of the user.  One can compare oneself to others, noting weaknesses and shortcomings in themselves, or in the person they are focusing on at the time.  The result is either a much lower self-esteem, or an elevated, exalted ego trip.

 Regardless of the direction, the ego becomes the primary focus.  Rather than focusing on letting our own heartsong be a guiding force our life, we suddenly become slaves to public opinion and popular trends.

 Rather than spend endless hours in the comparison game (and yes, it does add up to hours!), we can choose to use social media as a tool of connection rather than comparison, and let our heartsong be the driving fire in our lives.

 4. Have quiet spaces, mystery places and eyes for living beings. The technology we have today is wonderful, but it does have its limits.  There is no substitute for silence; not just physical silence, but visual and mental silence as well.  Making time to simply be quiet and alone, unable to be found through the phone or computer, can help us reconnect with our core values, beliefs and attitudes that tend to fall by the wayside in the din of modern life.  We can become fully present to ourselves.

 Make time for other people, too.  When we choose to mute or turn off the phone, decide not to multitask on email while we’re on the phone or talking to someone in front of us, we are making a decision to be fully present to others.  This sheer presence is deeper than any words, and lasts forever.

 5. Tech is a tool, not a life. I can’t tell you how many stories I hear from people who have either lost their phone, or had their phone go berserk, only to discover that they go crazy without the tech with them.  They literally go through withdrawal symptoms!

If you want to lose the “tech DT’s”, choose to look at all of your tech as tools.  They are essentially tools for your self-expression and connection; not internal organs.  Make time every day to simply fast from any technology.  Write a letter.  Go for a run.  Do some yoga.  Meditate.  Be proactive and take charge of your life, rather than be a slave to checking emails and texts every time the phone dings, squawks or plays your favorite music.

You have a life.  Live it to the fullest!

Don Marlette the “Metro Monk” is a medium, coach and teacher on the No Limits Life Staff. You can Learn more about Don, his services and more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

Facebook & Your Feelings

Oh Facebook, you allow us the opportunity to connect with people we otherwise wouldn’t connect to. You expose us to all types of perspectives and some of the most amazing recipes known to man. You also provide a home to the dreaded over sharers and complainers of the world that annoy the crap out of us! We ALL have that Facebook friend that drives us mad while we lecture them in our heads, we’ll never understand why they air their dirty laundry publicly or become a politician every time an election comes around.

facebook and friends

These people are draining us energetically, intentional or not.

Have you ever walked away from Facebook feeling more frustrated than before you checked it? If the answer is yes, you might want to rethink how you use it. Why? Because those feelings are in fact tuning your vibrational point of attraction whether you realize it or not. How you feel is your guidance system to know if you are attracting the people and circumstances you want or don’t want. It’s simple, if you’re feeling good you are on the right track to what you want and if you aren’t feeling good you are headed the wrong direction.

Do not despair, you can still use Facebook and keep your vibration on the right side of the tracks.

Consider these things when using Facebook:

Timing: 80% of smartphone users check their phones within 15 minutes of waking up. Most of us haven’t even brushed our teeth and we are opening ourselves up to a world of images and opinions that invoke feelings within us and start our day tuning to a less than ideal frequency. Consider when you check in – I suggest getting intentional with your vibration and getting your feet under you each day before you check in (literally and figuratively). It might mean that you don’t check in until after breakfast or after you’ve started your workday. Try tweaking your timing and see if you notice a difference.

Your friends list: How many friends do you have that you would actually speak to if you saw them in public? How many friends do you have that are negative and self-sabotaging? How many friends do you have that you can count on to provide positive quotes and articles that lift you up? Spend some time going through that friends list and get rid of the ones that don’t make you feel good. If you’re worried about hurt feelings or don’t want to cut the cord completely go to their page and unfollow them. Like magic you’ll no longer have to see them pop up in your feed and you’re still friends. Best of all they’ll never know!

The good stuff: Consider intentionally following pages that provide uplifting content, motivate you to reach your goals and make you feel good. Be intentional about what you’re exposing yourself to and control how you feel when using it. Here’s one of my personal favorites: https://www.facebook.com/NoLimitsLifeCoachingLlc/?fref=ts

At the end of the day you can be drained emotionally and energetically when you check in with the Facebook or you can be uplifted – what are you going to choose?

Abby

Abby Wickersheim is a life coach on the No Limits Life Team.  Her specialty is helping you tune your energies to what you want most in life and taking action to get it.  You can learn more about Abby and her programs at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

My Pal Technology

We complain about technology, yet many of us use it – quite a bit.  For example: If you are reading this, you are using technology. It begs the question, why are we using it if we dislike it so much? And what if we shifted our perspective a bit to stop complaining about it and start embracing it?

That is the focus this month – Technology as our friend, helper and connector. 

A few incidents over the last few weeks have highlighted this point for me in unique ways:

Incident 1.  In a large retailer, I wrote a check. I don’t write many checks, finding them cumbersome, preferring the simpler path of a debit card swipe. When the cashier tried to process the check in his system, there was an error. I watched him struggle, confounded by the system, growing more agitated as time he spent trying to solve it increased.  He finally resolved it with managerial assistance and handed me my receipt with the words “technology sure doesn’t make anything easier!”

Really?  Doesn’t it though?  I mean he just scanned my items and all the prices popped up, calculated the total with tax for him; I handed him my phone with customer loyalty bar code open and he scanned it – no looking up for my account (pat on the back).  All of that could have taken MUCH longer and been much tougher right? But yes, let’s focus on the one part that was hard.

Incident 2. In a college course I teach I lead a segment on generations in the workplace: each of the generations respond based on their experience.  We had one segment with a very derisive attitude toward it “kids don’t know how to play outside anymore” and another generational segment who couldn’t imagine not being connected and could list all the benefits.

Is either wrong?  Isn’t it situational rather than widespread?  Yes, there are kids not getting enough exercise and depending too much time playing games.  But there are also a lot of kids exercising, playing sports and using technology as wind down AND for school (gasp!).  Teachers are referring parents to websites for extra work, homework is being submitted online, e-learning modules are increasing in use and on and on. If we are using it as a tool instead of an escape from life, is it really all that bad?   

Incident 3.  A couple of weeks ago I hosted a webinar called Everyday Spirituality Toolkit – I had teachers dial in from multiple locations, recorded it for replay and have been able to send out implementation support emails to anyone who attend or downloads the replay (go here if you are interested).

This kind of technology allows us to learn from a broader base of people, from across the globe and with amazing perspectives.  And then – if you miss it – you can listen anyway!

The interwoven message for me was that technology is in the very fabric of our lives anymore and we can live in constant conflict with it, we can allow it to teach us or we can get as conscious in our employment of it as we are of the food we put in our body and be in the driver’s seat.  We have a choice.

Technology is like anything, we can let it dominate us, or we can choose to use it as a tool.  I can obsess about anything I want: food, fitness, reading, taking classes; really anything can become binge worthy.  Anyone ever binge watched a Netflix show? I am raising my hand! You can lose yourself to many things, or you can chose to find yourself as you discover new experiences.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather become more centered in myself than spending time giving my power to something outside of me. Just sayin’

So if you have lost hours on social media – feel disconnected if you haven’t judged someone’s overly personal share on Instagram or snorted in derision at a tweet or snapchat or whatever your online viewer of choice is, then I need you to remember you made that decision.  It isn’t the creator of any of those tools’ fault.  It isn’t whoever showed you how to use it, it’s you.  You have decided to let it in to your life, you can decide how big of a role it plays.

Technology isn’t bad.  We can use it to connect: it is how I watch my nephew’s progress from 2000 miles away and how I got to see my niece’s reaction to a surprise Disney trip last week.  We can use it to stay informed: to catch the latest headlines, research information and perspectives, and learn something new.  We can also use it to entertain: jokes, movies, stories and more.

How we use technology isn’t always ideal.  When we shame, bully, attack, overshare or pollute the atmosphere in some other way – yeah it can be ugly.  The unpleasantness can be detached from though.  We dictate our own behavior and choose it and we choose how we engage with others and how much space they get in our feeds and our lives.  Just because they are family, doesn’t mean they are friend material.

Let’s Try it:

  1. Spend some time this week considering how you feel when you are using technology of any kind. Note the kind you use and how it makes you feel.
  2. Where you have a “negative” feeling about a technology, consider what you might change: who, how, frequency, etc.
  3. Make one change. I have spent the last few days spending very little time on social media – only about 15 minutes perhaps. Why?  Because I was tired and the last thing I needed was to tune into drama.  When I did scroll through, I actually unfollowed a few people because what they posted was the final straw in a series of “oh please” reactions I had experienced.
  4. Note how you feel after at least a week of operating differently. Keep what is working, and let go of what isn’t.
  5. Share with me what you learned!

Technology isn’t inherently bad.  How we use it sometimes can be, but that is us – not technology.  We decide.  What decision do you need to make about technology?

Jennifer Murphy is an integrative life coach and founder of No Limits Life.  She loves partnering with successful professionals who are ready to expand that feeling of success to all areas of their life.  Learn more about events, programs and services at www.nolimitslife.guru