How do you Define Living Dangerously?

 Take a moment and consider what feels most dangerous to you: is it physical, spiritual, intellectual or emotional in nature?

Conventional wisdom would suggest all kinds of radical options.  As I have asked this question in workshops and discussions I have heard a few!   Things like:

skydiving

motorcycle racing

speaking in public

falling in love

climbing a mountain

swimming with sharks

parenting (that got a good giggle)

 

There were a ton of other physical risks that have come up in response to this question.  And yes, these things are risky…but if you notice, most people head right for the physical risks with the exception of falling in love.

These are easy answers – pick something with the potential to inflict bodily harm and we can all agree that it is dangerous.   Right?

Yes.

There is another way to think about it though and that is what I want to focus on.

The Art of Living Dangerously creates the path to you skydiving, moto title winning or swimming with sharks. This path fires your emotional, intellectual and spiritual body – more than your physical.   What if we think about living dangerously in these terms:

  • Being afraid and doing it anyway
  • Knowing there is more and going for it
  • Trying new things – taking the leap
  • Seeing new perspectives
  • Experiencing instead of Existing
  • Living by your values
  • Never settling
  • Transcending expectations
  • Having faith in limitless possibilities

Imagine you lived in opposition to any of those thoughts…let’s take “Having faith in limitless possibilities” first.  What would it mean if you have faith in limitless possibilities?  Consider an area of your life you feel stuck or trapped in, it could be anything from a relationship, a job, a volunteer commitment or a belief.

For example when I was wanting to become a life coach, I was very locked into the idea that I couldn’t leave my 6 figure job and the obligations it had created or my life would fall apart.  There were a lot of trapped and stuck attachments there:

  1. I had accumulated debt directly correlated to the amount of money I had: cars, houses, lines of credit, etc.
  2. I did enjoy my job and did well at it. I loved the people I worked with and generally enjoyed seeing them.  Yet I didn’t feel inspired by my job, I didn’t see how my role was really serving others in the way I wanted to.
  3. I had an idea of what people expected me to be and I was fearful of disappointing them.
  4. My family had become accustomed to my salary, my schedule and my life the way it impacted them; and I couldn’t let them be affected by my desires – they needed to always take first priority.

When my life coach suggested that it was possible for me to create the life I wanted if I dedicated myself to figuring out what it was, I resisted at first.  I was so focused on the narrow range of options I had decided were available that it was a good year of coaching with her before I was able to really open up to all of the things that could be if I allowed them into my life.

I had to do a few things to move past my self-created opposition to possibilities:

  1. I had to decide what an ideal day for me would look like.
  2. Sorting out what was important and what wasn’t to me then taking action to get free of what wasn’t.
  3. Realign my time to support what I wanted instead of what I felt like I “should be” doing.
  4. Starting to create that Ideal by pulling elements from it into the life I was living then.

On a daily basis I would ask myself “is this getting me closer or farther away from the life I truly want?” as I encountered challenges and opportunities.

I learned that not everything is worth the fight.

Over the next few weeks I will be tackling each of those Living Dangerously ideas as I prepare for my 2016 Art of Living Dangerously Creation Experience here in Cedar Rapids Iowa on September 9th and 10th.  You can take a look at the agenda here and then grab early bird registration before August 15th.

I hope you’ll stay tuned to this blog and follow the steps to both the idea of living dangerously and the way I overcame my opposition to it!

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

Turn Your Life Into an Empowered Life

I signed in to my bank account to do the monthly financial check to see how everything was looking.  As I cautiously hit the “Sign In” button, I thought I was ready for the number.  I wasn’t.  It was lower.  Much lower.

Fear gripped me.  I decided to do my psychic/healing work full-time, knowing that there would be rough patches on the road, but I wasn’t prepared for just how deep those potholes would be.  Now I had the fear, terror and hopelessness that such a rough road could become.

My mind went immediately to worst-case scenarios, with their accompanying feelings of dread and disappointment.  Then the emotional landscape shifted to feelings of anger at myself and my situation; then to blame.  Then full-blown panic.

I had to stop this movement toward the Dark Side.

I stopped.  I closed my eyes and got in touch with that Inner Voice and Wisdom that I talk and write about so much.  The answers I received surprised me.

As much as I was doing, I realized that I was working within a very limited view of my abilities, aptitudes and influence.  The truth stared me in the face: I was working in the wrong head-space.  Rather than pushing the envelope in my areas of work, I was staking out fenceposts that said, “Do this much and no more.  This is your work, so just stick with it.  Change is deadly.”  By building those limits, and choosing to stay within them, I was not only limiting my influence and income, but also my gifts and even my dignity.

By choosing limitations, I was settling for a limited life and a lesser me. 

Something had to change, and fast.  I chose to jump the fence of what I was doing, and expand my horizons.  I connected with people I had ignored far too long, either out of fear or the excuse that it wasn’t my area in which to work.  I literally “put myself out there”, risking my reputation on both personal and public levels.  I did things I had never done before.  It was hard work, took longer than you might expect, and had no guarantee of good results.  I was scared to death.

And I succeeded.

My gifts started to grow beyond what seemed to be at a maximum at the time.  My personal sense of dignity and self-worth was beyond positive.  My reach to others expanded beyond any expectations I had until then.  Oh, and the bank account looked much better, too.

I feel that if you’re reading this article, you have either been at this kind of crisis point recently, or you’re in it right now.  It’s not fun or easy, but there is a truth here: If you’re experiencing this, it is a chance for you to recognize your limitations, release them and embrace your highest self.

Below are the six steps I took to recognize and release my limitations, so that I could become who I am truly meant to be.  Work through these slowly and deliberately to navigate your way through your situation to a more empowered, limit-free life!

  1. Observe. What’s going on right now? What are the limitations that you’ve set up for yourself, either on a conscious or unconscious level?  Now is not the time to discover their origins.  At this point, simply identify what your limitations are, as concretely as possible.
  1. Reflect. How are these limitations sabotaging your progress, not only on a professional/work level, but also on a personal level? Why do you want these limitations in your life – for safety, security, just because?
  1. Journal/Discuss. Journal about your observations and reflections, or discuss them with someone you trust. Get clear about what limitations you’ve set for yourself, and what they have done to both help and hinder your progress and growth.
  1. Plan. What are you going to do to blast through your limitations? What empowered steps can you take to start leaving your limitations behind and embrace your true potential…no matter how daunting or frightening those steps might be for you? 
  1. Account. Who can you be accountable to for your changes? Sure, you might just say “yourself”, but try to find someone else to whom you can be accountable for your changes.  Otherwise, you can make excuses and compromises with your limitations, and end up sabotaging any growth you hoped to achieve.  That person (or people!) also will encourage you when you have self-doubts or second thoughts and fears.
  1. Act. Yes, this is the scary part. Actually put your plan into action and make the empowering changes in your life you need to make.  Realize that you will feel scared.  You will feel like it’s impossible.  You will feel out of your comfort zone.  With regard to those feelings, remember you went through this complex array of feelings emotions and mindsets at least once before: when you were born.  And you’re still here!  Make the leap of faith, knowing that you will land on your feet.  Let your accountability partner(s) (Step 5) be your cheerleader and motivator when you need it.   You can do it, and you will!

 

Finally, remember this one truth: If you do nothing, you will stay just where you’re at.  If you choose to move in a new and empowered direction, the freedom you gain is worth more than anything you can possibly imagine!

Don Marlette is, among many other things, a member of the No Limits Life team.  His unique blend of psychic insight, mediumship and practical wisdom guide spirtual practitioners and everyday people through the perils of everyday getting by to build lives that feel like they are singing their heartsong.  Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

Why Permission is Important

The other day I said, “you have to give yourself permission to do that” and my client looked at me and said, “why is that so important?

Yes, it is a “coachism”, but it is also an important energetic step toward change in many cases. Yet when my client challenged me, I found myself digging deeper for the real answer instead of the safe answer to her question.

It led me to my own journaling on the idea so that I could get really clear on why I tell people to do this, instead of just tossing that out there as a spiritual platitude or to sound like a sage (gag!).

What I came up with was both stabilizing and fresh for me:

  • Permission is important because it opens you up to possibility
  • Permission is important because you are conscious when you GIVE permission – think of it as a permission slip you would sign for a childs’ field trip – this one for a journey of your conscious mind and spirit.
  • Permission is important because of the explicit NO it gives to things you don’t want. By saying yes to something you fill the void waiting – when you implicitly make decisions the void simply gets filled by whatever passes by.
  • Permission is important because by God it is yours to give. No one else gets to say yes or no for you – it’s yours to give: your decision, your right, your choice.

Let’s look at the flip side for a second: Have you ever thought about not being specific and where that gets you?  Not usually where you want to be right?  When you can’t invest in the work to make the small decisions, how on earth would you expect to get to the clarity the big ones need.

Giving yourself permission to explore specific and non-specific ideas, to do or not do something, it is FIRM.  It is unyielding and it is decisive – taking a stance and holding it.  You have drawn the line in the sand with whatever you have given permission to.  It is courageous and will absolutely provide you enhanced clarity in the next step of whatever you are doing.

So yes, you can write this phrase off as something we coaches and spiritualists toss out as woowoo platitudinal mumbo jumbo that is designed purely to assuage your guilt and “move you past” something.  Or you can get serious about intention, about possibility and about what you allow or don’t allow in your life.

Spiritual Platitudes are the band-aids on the sucking chest wounds of our self-inflicted spiritual trauma – they do no good and usually just pile on to the problem.  Permission – intentional decision making – is about proactively engaging in your life, your energetic commitments and your role here in this lifetime.

Grant yourself permission to be courageous and commit to intentional decision making – what do you need to give yourself permission for right now? 

Love? Space? Time? Relationships? Inquiry? Possibility? Money? Health?  the list can go on and on.

Then you want to say something like this:

Today I give myself permission for abundance – to allow in the wealth and security I know I am capable of and to give myself permission to let go of feelings of lack and insecurity. I give myself permission to give no quarter to lack. 

It’s a decision, not a platitude. It’s a position of strength, not weakness.  And permission is yours to dole out to you – go for it.

 

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

 

 

What is at the Core of You?

A few things got lost along the way as we coaches plunged into the realm of saving all of ourselves from ourselves. Our self righteous battle cry of “listen to me! I can save you from the stuff you are tired of doing/need to overcome/are overwhelmed by” rings true, but wow there is a cacophony of crows crowing it from every treetop. And you know what they call a group of crows right? A murder.

This got me thinking about what we are doing in this exploding industry. Are we murdering the self help industry with our online courses and big ticket coaching programs and formulas and lists of ten things you need to stop or start doing now. I know I get overwhelmed and I have gotten to the point where a lot of that stuff is just noise. And that got me thinking about where I fit in all of this, where No Limits Life fits.

I don’t want to Periscope or Hangout. I want to connect. I don’t want to get so bogged down in dogma, scripts, pipelines, autoresponders and templates that I don’t have time to talk to you. I can’t be that person, and I can’t run that business.

In June I have a strategic planning meeting I am facilitating and a speaking gig at a large corporation here in town, both on top of celebrating the fact that we just passed the 5 year mark of being in business as an integrative life coach seeing clients. I am more excited about those two events and the energy of clients I have been attracting than I am about spending another 5 years putting together online courses for you – courses you all tell me your biggest fear about is that you’ll buy it and not finish it. And guess what – you are right! You don’t finish it! Then you feel guilty and don’t want to connect with me or my team because you fear the judgement. Oh. My. God. That is so not what I want for you.

I want to speak to you. Yes you – the one sitting in the energetic corner knowing he or she wants more and scared of what might change (or God forbid not change) if you go after it.

  • I want to tell you that whatever idea you have brewing within is worth the investment in you.
  • I want to tell you that you deserve to be thorough in your analysis, and you deserve to be bold enough to do it without having all of the answers.
  • I want you to know that you deserve time that is just yours and that you don’t have to wait until your retirement years to do you. Live your life for you.

At my last corporate job I was a strategic development manager. Part of that role was to look at what we were doing, finding the opportunities to make it bigger or better or more profitable and then develop the business case to prove or disprove our idea. It was also about knowing our markets and where we played best. As the company flexed in and out of spaces of growth an oft used phrasing seemed perfectly appropriate for what I am feeling in this coaching business: I want to pull back into my core and do what I do well and do it the best out there.

And what is that? What do I do well?

I inspire you to believe in you, to find your inner warrior and to partner with him or her to kick ass and give you all you deserve in this life. I partner with you to shed the mantle of expectation and unleash your repressed rebel, closet creative or aspiring adventurer upon your life and to let your innermost desires out to play and become your reality. This isn’t fantasy, this is your blessed life. No one will love it like you can, and no one will make it the dream life you want except you –it’s all you babe.

At the very first workshop I did at my former employer after I began coaching full time I shared a technique I call “Aligning Priorities” and over a year later I learned of the impact that workshop had on one of the participants. She shared that part of the way through the workshop as she inventoried what she was doing in her life and what was working and what wasn’t, she found herself in tears. She found herself faced with the reality that life wasn’t what she wanted. Fast forward 12 months and she was thriving in a new job, living a very different life that had her smiling and happy to be her. And I had no idea. I sent her a note on Linkedin after noticing the job change and only then did she share her personal evolution and went on to thank me for the nudge that the workshop gave her.

I will gladly take 100 stories like this over 1 unfinished online course.

My team and I talked about this and we agreed, no more formulas, no more online courses that lack interaction, and we turn our focus to interacting with you live: in person, over webinar and the phone. Because your problems aren’t solved by formula and simple self discipline. If so, you would have solved it already. Your opportunities aren’t explored with a yoga class every week, if so you’d have already set the world on fire with them. These challenges are overcome and opportunities seized when you are inspired and supported through the fear to the action.

For you: What is your core? Some might call it your purpose, your calling or your truth. Whatever. You decide to call it, are you waking up and thinking about it, creating it and doing it every day?

There are two pieces to this evolution:

  1. Identify your core.
  2. Think, create, do everyday.

Start with number 1.

Create a list of the things you are doing and what you love about them. Find the common thread. This is leading you to your core. Keep digging until you find the heart of it – the feeling of being home.

Move to number 2.

Ask yourself every moment, is this aligned to my core? If yes, go with gusto. If no, question yourself.

I am not sure how to make it more simple than that. But what I can say is that if it were easy, you’d have already done it. I wish you the best my friend and I can’t wait to see how you core looks shining brightly to the world.

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave. To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

Do You Work Your Life, or Does Life Work You? by Don Marlette

Every day you wake up and promise yourself that you’re going to live today to the fullest, and not let  your fears hold you back. You decide to do the tasks you’ve been putting off forever, deal with the assignment that’s been nagging you for the last two weeks, but –  somewhere along the way – you lose your nerve.   You keep postponing things and making excuses for all the wrong things that happen in your life.

And so it goes.  Every.  Day.

How do you take charge of your life?

Our culture’s conviction is that there must some technique, secret or product that, when applied properly, will make all our dreams come true and make us eager for the next step in our path.  The truth is there is no secret at all.  There is no magic system, seminar or ritual that will instantly erase your fears and zap you into your best life ever.  It’s really not a question of “how” to do anything!

We’re asking the wrong question.  Instead of asking “how” to take charge of your life, it is better to ask what kind of response life is asking of you from the outset.  Just as a child “out of control” is sometimes simply asking to be heard, your life may be asking you to stop and listen to your heart for a moment.

Actions to take charge of one’s life often fail because they are not inspired actions.  Think about when you’ve fallen in love.  Did you go out and buy the book, “The 8 Habits of Twitterpated Lovers” or “How To Enjoy the Person You’re Head-Over-Heels In Love With”?  No way!  Love itself seemed to take over, and you followed a mindset of inspired action that seemed to pull you effortlessly from one idea or action to the next.

The same is true about your life.  Life is not a project; it’s a love affair!  We spend far too much time building monuments bereft of meaning and fixing problems that are best left to someone else, all in the name of being “busy”, rather than taking inspired action from a heartfelt call.

You are not asked by life to “work on” things, to create personal growth projects or construct role-based goals, ideals and aspirations simply for their own sake.  Instead, you are asked to fall in love with life, allow your hopes and dreams to emerge from a passion-driven heart, and take inspired actions to make these hopes and dreams a reality.

The first step toward living from that passionate state is the most important.  Stop.  Find a quiet place with your journal and a pen.  Close your eyes and focus inward.  Listen to your heart’s call.  What is it saying to you at its deepest level?

The next step is to take an honest inventory of your life right now.  What is working in harmony with that call?  What is working against it?  And then be brutally honest with yourself: Are you willing to let go of those things that are in working against your heart’s deepest longing?

Finally, ask your heart what two or three actions you can take over the next week to make its desires a reality.  Listen carefully and note those actions.  Make a commitment to do them, realizing that these are inspired, soul-driven actions with a higher purpose.  You will quickly realize that these actions are things you really want to do, because they lead you to a life you actually want to have.

As you accomplish each action, celebrate it.  After all, this is not busywork; you are taking meaningful steps toward a soul-realized life!

Once you actually experience the energy and joy from moving toward who you really are, other inspired actions will start to emerge into your awareness.  Now I won’t lie to you: challenges will come your way at times.  Yet, you will be able to face these challenges, knowing that you are aligned with a greater purpose, and this alignment will give you the insight, energy and resolve to overcome those obstacles with creativity and focus.

 

Ready to move forward with your heartfelt life?  Don Marlette can help.  Sign up for a free 30 minute consult and learn more about Don Marlette and the entire No Limits Life team at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Is Your Visionary Type?

by Don Marlette DonMarlette(558x800)

The word “visionary” conjures up a number of images in my mind’s eye: the guru on the mountain top who attracts followers of all stripes, the leader with a mystical look in her eyes who cares more about practical change and less about what people think of her, the rebel who charges ahead, undaunted by opposition on every side – and these are but a few!

At some level, we are all visionaries.  Remember the first time that you thought about who you wanted to be when you grew up.  Recall the last time you could see yourself in a serious relationship with someone.  These are examples of many “visionary moments” we experience.  When we allow certain visionary moments to grow and develop into a consuming passion, we pass into the realm of the visionary lifestyle.

How that visionary lifestyle will look depends upon you.  I have found numerology to be a helpful tool to discover one’s “visionary type” or mode of visionary life.  Once you know your Visionary Type, you can discover your strengths and areas for growth, so that you can live a visionary lifestyle that is in harmony with your highest self.

To discover your own Visionary Type, simply write down the numerical month and day of your birth in the spaces below.  Then add them together, and keep adding the individual numbers together until you get a single number.  For example, if I were born on August 18, (which becomes 08-18), I would write:

0 + 8 + 1 + 8  =  17  and then…  1 + 7  = 8  = Visionary Type

Now it’s your turn:

__+___+___+___  = _____   and then…  ___+___  =  ___  =  Your Visionary Type

Now that you’ve found your Visionary Type number, match it to the corresponding description below to discover more about your type!

  1. The Reforming Visionary. Your idealism is key to living out your vision.  You have very high standards, and want to be a person of integrity in living them each day.  While maintaining a fierce loyalty to your vision, you may have problems with resentment and patience.  Stay in the moment and avoid becoming consumed by self-criticism or criticism of others.
  1. The Helping Visionary. Your ease of expressing your true feelings, unconditional love for others, and ability to connect with others will help you to bring your vision into reality. Living out your vision may be challenging at times, due to a tendency toward becoming sentimental and overly concerned with the opinions of others.  Become more emotionally aware and self-nurturing to more effectively make your vision a reality.
  1. The Results Visionary. Your ability to pull people into your circle of friends will take you far. You can be very driven toward success, and work very hard to be productive and effective in everything you do.  Watch out for workaholism and egotism, as you may easily tilt toward burnout or over-concern about your image.  Work on becoming more self-accepting and authentic in your relationship with yourself, as well in your relationships with others.  A balanced life will help you achieve your vision more effectively than overwork and “burning the midnight oil.”
  1. The Independent Visionary. Your independence stems from your desire to be more reserved and alone. Solitude is your greatest teacher, as well as the wellspring of your own dynamic creativity.  Be careful of falling into self-pity or personal drama; your life is actually better than you may perceive it right now.  Good social interactions will help you gain perspective.  Strive to become more objective and principled so that you can see your true progress in achieving your goals.  You are doing better than you think!
  1. The Cerebral Visionary. Your constant curiosity, alertness to information, and innovative approaches help you on your path. Your pioneering spirit helps you blaze new trails in making your vision a reality.  Because you are very much “in your head”, you may tend toward becoming more isolated and eccentric than you would like.  Develop greater self-confidence and decisiveness, so that you don’t become trapped into thinking you have to do everything.
  1. The Responsible Visionary. You don’t really see yourself as the visionary type! You want to be secure in what you do, so striking out into the unknown is more than a little scary.  However, you do have a rebellious streak in you, and that rebelliousness is the hatchery of your true visionary creativity.  Get in touch with that, and courageously champion that vision with all your might.  Yes, letting go of security can be frightening, but life will become much richer for you when you do.
  1. The Playful Visionary. Your playfulness, spontaneous and optimistic nature will give you the fuel to achieve your goals. Beware of becoming too impulsive and off-task, however.  Once you make a decision, strive to follow through to its completion.  Also, get in touch with your own inner pain, as it will help you to become more authentic and reach more people effectively.
  1. The Challenging Visionary. Your strong self-confidence helps you to forge ahead and get things done, especially in making your vision a reality. Although your assertiveness can help you accomplish great things, be mindful that you do not become intimidating or controlling.  Use your strengths to become more inspiring for others and improve their lives.
  1. The Self-Effacing Visionary. Yes, you want to have a peaceful life and not trouble the waters too much, and there is a way to achieve your goals without stepping on too many toes. Realize that confrontation and occasional conflict are part of the work of manifesting your dreams, and your natural peacefulness and calm will make these confrontations less dramatic than you may fear.  Work on becoming more self-developing and self-confident to bring out the best in yourself for the good of others.

Keep in mind these Visionary Types are not set in stone.  They are intended to help you see your own strengths, and how you can incorporate them in to your life.  Your own unique “stamp” on your Visionary Type is not only important, but necessary for you to articulate, plan and implement a vision and goals that are truly your own.

Have fun adding this to your personal toolbox for making your dreams a reality!

Don Marlette is a powerful intuitive who loves to help people learn to sing their heart song! You can learn more about Don and how to work directly with him, take a class with him or attend his live event on April 2 by clicking here