That Funny Feeling of Change…Again

Bubbling under the surface is this nervous tension colliding with the sense of all is right with the world.  How can they both possibly be right?

I wonder this as I observe change happening for me, and for the first time in my life not being clear on what it is.

When I got sober back in 2003, I knew huge change was coming for me.  I was engaged, deployed to the Middle East with the US Army and convinced I’d never have any fun ever again if I didn’t drink.  I made a huge list of all the things I’d never be able to do again without alcohol as my companion.

I have done all of those things, left that engagement, survived emotionally and physically that deployment and though it all, I was aware of the shifts happening.

In 2010 I made my first connection with a life coach – my first official coach. I did it not only aware that change was happening, but very clear once more on the type of change I wanted: a different career.  What I got was a completely different life that I fall in love with all over again every single day.

In 2012-2013  I left my corporate job, opened my third business, started my only child in kindergarten, divorced from my husband, saw my brothers safe return to his wife and daughter from deployment to Iraq, sold multiple properties and completely changed my lifestyle.  I went from making 6 figures to 3 and felt wealthier than ever.

Since then small changes have occurred: I discovered a passion for glass art and began creating, I started teaching in a college certificate course and realized how much I love teaching, I assumed financial responsibility for my grandmother’s  affairs, rolled with business and personal financial ups and downs, sold a business, started another business, found a personal relationship that I value more than I ever thought possible and have a shared vision for the future that is so amazing I am stunned when daily action draws us closer to it.

So now, I stand on the unsteady grounds of change and have no idea what they are made of. After such clarity of direction in prior change phases I am wondering at the universe’s motives in keeping me in the dark.  What is lurking in those shadows as I walk forward?  It feels right, but with every step I wonder if the squishy floor will collapse and leave me floundering in chocolate pudding or horse shit.

Dealing with the uncertainty of this change requires faith.  “How do you get faith? How do you trust?” I have been asked over and over again.  Well, I am not sure how it will work for you, but this is what I have done:

Trust the ever loving shit out of an energy way fucking bigger than I am and way fucking bigger than I can conceive of.  It’s the shit, it is the grand master daddy mama of allllll things we are here to do and who am I to second guess it?

Let me elaborate on that a bit for those that need a more constructed process, here is what I have come to understand for me:

  1. I am a spiritual entity in physical creation – I believe that. I believe that I am connected to the spirit of the universe.
  2. The spirit of the universe is infinite, I am finite in physical form, the spirit of the universe has no physical form except me (and yes, you too!), and therefore I am connected to the infinite.
  3. I watch for the connections between my actions, my thoughts, my beliefs and the impacts on those around me. I see.
  4. I trust that infinite energy to be a lot smarter than me.
  5. I ask for the right thought or action and I take it when it arrives.

A little example:  When I was leaving the military, I didn’t have a special connection to anywhere at the time.  I was single, two dogs and needed a place to connect.  I had interviews lined up in 4 different states.

On my first interview for my last location choice, I got so sick I couldn’t continue on with my interviews in the next 3 states.  I had opened up my energies and said “Okay universe, where do you want to send me? I’ll go where you need me.”  And it answered “Iowa”.  Trust me, I had doubts, a strong desire to fight the direction and find another way.  But I decided to have faith and go for it.

That was 13 years ago.

So here was are again, “ok universe, where do you want me to go?  What do you want me to do?”  I’ll trust and move forward on faith. 

Purposeful Living by Eilynn Dixon

Give yourself the permission to succeed.

Give yourself permission to live the life of your dreams.

Give yourself permission to be passionate and purposeful to have a powerful life.

There comes a time in life we ask the question: is there more to this life, am I living my purpose?

Once the questions begin to formulate you become aware that there is something more that you want. You have realized that you have been going through life just existing and not really living. You are having an awakened moment. When you realize that your life in the current state could be a little bit more in some aspect, and the life quest begins.

You have to be determined that you want to be fully engaged in life and responsible for your happiness. You have to be ready to be that person that you always wanted to be. It is now time for you to give yourself permission to start living the life of your dreams and living on purpose. It is time to start executing the baby steps to accomplish your big goals.

It is crazy to think you would choose to not be successful and not be engaged with your life purpose. But subconsciously we do that! There are times you will see you were faced with opportunities to be able to pursue the things you wanted most – but because there was no level of awareness you overlook them and then ask later why things don’t work out the way you wanted them to. There are always moments to be a success through the little things in life, but when you are asleep you don’t see them.

I am one that knows firsthand how important it is to be actively engaged in your life through living and not just existing:

When I had my awakened moment in 2011 it felt like I had been driving for a long time and arrived to my destination and didn’t know how I got there. It was as though, all the years prior to that moment were almost a blur because of my lack of living and only existing. I had raised children, gotten married, had successful positions and still all I was doing was existing. I was not living from who I really truly was, my authentic self. I didn’t remember because I took more time worrying about everything else instead of enjoying each moment and staying engaged in life and active in my happiness.

There were times I would be happy and ecstatic about all the greatness of life but those moments seemed to be brief and began to be spaced further and further apart until I did not even recognize the little moments of happiness. These moments that were important didn’t cost a dime, the little moments that matter most. Once I awakened and begin my journey of a purposeful life I begin to recognize happiness, I begin to see the moment and savor in the present. I begin to understand the importance of gratitude through doing things that I enjoyed that made my heart smile. Now don’t get me wrong, it is an everyday life long process to always to try to be a little bit happier or do something a little bit better to make your heart smile to always feel success.

It is important that we really smell the flowers and that we smile at a baby in the grocery store. It is also important to live on purpose through a work that is filled with passion.

When you are able to live every day doing what you love through purposeful and passionate living you feel awesome, it really is what we all aspire to have. We want to wake up each moment and skip out of bed excited to start the day, we all want to be able to have that hearty laugh that makes our belly ache, and we also want to be able to support, give things and experience the things in life that we so deserve. Life is meant to be full of many experiences through meeting new people, eating new things, seeing new things, and just being you! When you are able to start taking the baby steps to do this you will begin to live a life of living and not just existing!! Live your best life, my friend, you deserve all the greatness that you aspire for and oh so much more!!

Is this you? Are you looking to move your life from “ugh” to “oh heck yeah!!”. Then let’s talk about how you can learn more about Eilynn and how she helps people do this! Schedule a free session with Jennifer at No Limits Life to discuss what is up with you, what you are seeking and how the team at No Limits Life can support you!