Are you Too Busy For Time Management?

This week my son is in a 7 hour a day week-long soccer camp followed by a chiropractor session, a haircut, competitive club soccer tryout and bookended by soccer tournaments.

It’s a busy week for him.

It’s also prime training time for time management.

He’s 10 and life won’t slow down from here.  Increasingly, demands will be placed on his time as he gets more social, craves more mobility, plays in middle school and high school sports in addition to his club and continues with his hunting and fishing seasons.  Eventually (I shudder) he will have a girlfriend and she’ll want his time (she had better be good enough for him!).  Life will get busier and as his parent it’s up to me to model for him the best way to manage those demands.

It’s the kind of thing we didn’t really talk about when I was his age, nobody did.  I don’t remember people glorifying busy the same way – triple and double booked and racing all over hell and back to make it to every graduation, birthday, sport and event.  People said no to the things that weren’t most important.  That is the model I had.  Rather than just talking about it, I crave modeling and living with a time management model that is simply…simple. 

Back to my question: are you too busy for time management?

A few other versions of the question:

Are you too busy to focus on what is most important?

Why are you spending time on things that are not important to you?

Is there a reason your kids needs to play 4 sports?

Do you truly want to sacrifice your personal time and experience in this life to live vicariously through your kids, your friends or people online?

If I gave you 30 seconds, a minute even, could you list the 3-5 most important areas of your life and what you are doing to enrich them?

Are you investing in things instead of experiences?

These are the kinds of questions I had to ask myself almost a decade ago when I wanted to unscrew how screwed up my life had become.  They were hard to answer – despite the model I had growing up.  I had to spend some time working with a coach to pull away all the objections, forms of resistance and utter BS I had chosen to pile up around me.

If you struggle to answer those questions, you are in need of some serious overhaul in the way you manage your time.  Time is a finite resource – we get 24 hours in a day, we get this one life to live (in this incarnation), and we deserve to treat ourselves well in how we use it.  Not just well…outstandingly amazing.  We deserve to treat ourselves outstandingly amazing.

Three things you can do right now in 5 minutes or less to start treating ourselves outstandingly amazing:

  1. Optimize the next 7 days. Spend 5 minutes looking at your commitments for the next 7 days.  Say no to the things that are energy draining and unnecessary.  Send the card instead of going to the graduation party of the neighbor kid you say hi to once a year.  Say yes to the things that move you forward in life.
  2. Admit you can only be in one place at one time. Take a deep breath and recognize that you are only one being.  You can only be in one location at one time.  It isn’t your job to stress yourself out completely to make everyone else happy.  If you choose to over commit, do it because it feels fun – not because you want to have a heart attack in the next 12 months and die from stress.  Pick the event, activity or commitment that moves you forward and delegate, decline or defer the rest.  FYI – I just postponed a massage so that I could focus on getting some work churned through so when I do get that massage, I am not freaking out about my to-do list.
  3. Schedule 15 minutes once a week to optimize your schedule. Right now, set a weekly appointment with yourself to spend 15 minutes a week optimizing the next month or so.  It will always be a state of refinement, that 15 minutes will yield huge gains.

Yep, I get it, managing all the moving pieces of life is tough.  Part of loving the life you are living is loving what you are doing in it.  Those things are your choice.  You can choose to be too busy for time management and just keep letting life happen to you. 

OOOOORRRRRR
You can take charge now, implement a couple of simple things and let me know how they work for you. 

If you struggle, it may be time to bring in the big guns of life coaching and together we will look at what drives you to insanity and help you conquer that chaos and chart a fresh course full of purpose and straight up fun.  Start here if this is you.

We have a mini-course on this coming up in August, then again in September.  It will kick off on August 1 at 11am CST and run for 4 weeks then again on September 12 at 730pm and run for 4 weeks.

Right now I am looking for input on this course and would love to have you weigh in via this short survey – can you do that? It’s only 8 questions and I have a bonus for those of you interested in taking this to the next step.

Click here to be an Influencer and provide us your thoughts on the best focus areas for the “Too Busy To Take It Time Management Mini Course”.

 

j36Jennifer Murphy is a life coach, help captive in Iowa, but willing to stay because her son anchors her in place and he is so totally worth it!  An expert in helping people across the globe prioritize their values and create a life centered on what they value most, allowing them to shed stress, overwhelm and the BS that can suck the soul from daily living.  Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru 

Aside

Are you Denying Your Love?

Do you have anything you LOVE to do and don’t?  Something you wish you could make time for and don’t?   You have lots of reasons why: work is busy, family is busy, you are tired, it’s expensive, you have to drive too far to do it, you don’t have the right supplies, the list could go on and on if I include all of the excuses I have heard from clients as to why they don’t do the things they love.

In those cases we are trading our soul for…what? 

In some cases, we can temporarily justify it.  We need to focus on our newborn children, a particularly demanding project at work, a family or financial crisis.  But those situations are temporary.  We trade our soul when we allow addiction to those short bursts of stress and they become habitual and then begin to feel easier than actually pursuing what we love. 

NOTE: If what you love is the constant drama of crisis, we aren’t going to go there. Go away, I don’t need that kind of crazy in my world – and truth be told, neither do you.

On my mind lately has been my love of writing.  I love to write, love it.  Loved it since I was a child; starting my first “dear diary” entry around 3rd grade.  So why do I deny it?

I can pull any number of excuses from the list above and tell you why they’d work for me in case against writing. But that is all they are, excuses; and you know what they say excuses are like…

My commitment to me right now is to release the limits of excuses today.  I’m embracing my love of writing now.

Your Living Dangerously Challenge: 

I challenge you to consider what you love and deny yourself.  Go through your excuses one by one and ask yourself when they expire. Be bold, write them down and give them an expiration date.  Celebrate their expiration and launch yourself into your love with abandon.

Release Limits, Embrace Life, Live Dangerously

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with the closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

 

 

 

Why Permission is Important

The other day I said, “you have to give yourself permission to do that” and my client looked at me and said, “why is that so important?

Yes, it is a “coachism”, but it is also an important energetic step toward change in many cases. Yet when my client challenged me, I found myself digging deeper for the real answer instead of the safe answer to her question.

It led me to my own journaling on the idea so that I could get really clear on why I tell people to do this, instead of just tossing that out there as a spiritual platitude or to sound like a sage (gag!).

What I came up with was both stabilizing and fresh for me:

  • Permission is important because it opens you up to possibility
  • Permission is important because you are conscious when you GIVE permission – think of it as a permission slip you would sign for a childs’ field trip – this one for a journey of your conscious mind and spirit.
  • Permission is important because of the explicit NO it gives to things you don’t want. By saying yes to something you fill the void waiting – when you implicitly make decisions the void simply gets filled by whatever passes by.
  • Permission is important because by God it is yours to give. No one else gets to say yes or no for you – it’s yours to give: your decision, your right, your choice.

Let’s look at the flip side for a second: Have you ever thought about not being specific and where that gets you?  Not usually where you want to be right?  When you can’t invest in the work to make the small decisions, how on earth would you expect to get to the clarity the big ones need.

Giving yourself permission to explore specific and non-specific ideas, to do or not do something, it is FIRM.  It is unyielding and it is decisive – taking a stance and holding it.  You have drawn the line in the sand with whatever you have given permission to.  It is courageous and will absolutely provide you enhanced clarity in the next step of whatever you are doing.

So yes, you can write this phrase off as something we coaches and spiritualists toss out as woowoo platitudinal mumbo jumbo that is designed purely to assuage your guilt and “move you past” something.  Or you can get serious about intention, about possibility and about what you allow or don’t allow in your life.

Spiritual Platitudes are the band-aids on the sucking chest wounds of our self-inflicted spiritual trauma – they do no good and usually just pile on to the problem.  Permission – intentional decision making – is about proactively engaging in your life, your energetic commitments and your role here in this lifetime.

Grant yourself permission to be courageous and commit to intentional decision making – what do you need to give yourself permission for right now? 

Love? Space? Time? Relationships? Inquiry? Possibility? Money? Health?  the list can go on and on.

Then you want to say something like this:

Today I give myself permission for abundance – to allow in the wealth and security I know I am capable of and to give myself permission to let go of feelings of lack and insecurity. I give myself permission to give no quarter to lack. 

It’s a decision, not a platitude. It’s a position of strength, not weakness.  And permission is yours to dole out to you – go for it.

 

Jennifer Murphy is a coach, teacher, mentor and leader at No Limits Life where she partners with closet creatives, aspiring adventurers, and repressed rebels to move beyond expected success to create the kind of fulfilling life they crave.  To learn more about Jennifer and her team visit www.nolimitslife.guru

 

 

Two Small Shifts to Use Social Media For Good

Oh the joy to be able to see your long distance friends and families on Facebook, follow the stars on Instagram, Twitter and make funny faces on Snapchat.

We have the opportunity to engage with our favorite stars now more than ever before. We get to see the excitement of the birth of a new song or new child. We get to see the rise of stardom. We get to see in real time the lessons of young football players. We get to see it all by looking at the screen of our phone or computer.

The joys of technology… or is it really?

The social media era is one that my children have the opportunity to be a part of more than I ever was.  I have even joked to say if social media was around when I was younger, oh how different life would be. My consistent lesson to my sons and all that engage in social media: Tread Carefully. You can use the opportunity to engage to land a job or lose a job. You can meet a friend and also lose a friend.

It is important that we remember that we are all more than our screen name, or our posts. We can see how others are going on vacation, getting married, eating yummy meals, and enjoying life.  I am a firm believer that less is best, it is nice to be able to share, but not at the expense of you being your authentic self. Don’t post things based on need to be seen.

We have to remember that we are all on journey. Things may appear so glamorous that you sigh, “I wish that was me”. Then, on the other end of the connection, they are looking at you with the same wistful eye wishing it was them!

Why? Because we are not grateful for NOW.

That is the misconception and the danger of social media. It can be a tool that festers envy and jealousy to grow like bacteria. It would be great if the outlets were used to support each other, uplift each other through quotes of positive encouragement and sincere admiration. Could you imagine how little the news will be littered with reports of headlines “Started with Facebook dispute” instead it would read “Started with Facebook Likes and love”?  How nice if we can consistently use media in a way that allows us to be a better person each and every day.

Here are two ways I strive to do use social media for good in life:

  1. I start each week with a podcast through motivational speaker, Dr. Eric Thomas,TGIM (Thank God It’s Monday) segment that is used to invoke messages of encouragement to motivate you to accomplish all that you can through the day and the upcoming week. His message is powerful: you may have Average Skill but you have Phenomenal Will. This podcast, his voice, his passion is so strong that it makes you feel like you can achieve every goal you set your mind to. This gives me a start to tackle what so many refer to as the “Dreaded Monday”.

What can you tune into to start your week or day off the way you WANT to live and love?

  1. I try to limit my own intake of social media as much as possible, but if I am on social media my list of “friends” includes those that want to make a change through their words or their actions. I have made a decision many times to disengage with those that choose to see the world through a clouded lenses of negativity and disgust. Even though you are not there with them, if you continue to read and engage with that vibration, you will tune to it.

Instead, focus on quotes and stories that are uplifting, watch a video of the dog and the baby playing, or the story of the cop helping a homeless man giving the shirt off his back. I believe there are more people in the world that want to help than hurt. Let’s start showing this in our everyday posts, have the intention of showing love to your fellow followers and not disgust. Make the choice to engage in those things that will only energize you and not drain you.

Where do you need to detox your intake on social media?

Most importantly remember who you are authentically and the blessings that you see. What one person may celebrate, you may have an alternate celebratory act. Be grateful for who you are and not what you think you should be based on the social media posts and surveys. Be YOU unapologetically you and do not define you by who someone else is or has.

 

eilynnEilynn Dixon is a life coach on the No Limits Life team.  Her focus is supporting people wanting to make big change through small actionable steps every day.  With her contagious smile, infectious enthusiasm and pure joy for life, she motivates, inspires and shows you how to love YOU through your biggest changes! Learn more at www.nolimitslife.guru

 

 

Spiritual Lessons from Screenworld

I’m a hopeless romantic.

There!  I said it!

I dream of having a life in which the hustle and bustle of modern life is brought to a screeching halt, in favor of a simpler, quieter, slower lifestyle.  So, whenever there is a discussion about computers, technology, phones, or other tech-related subjects, I easily move into my grumpy mode.  I am not a fan of technology, and try to use it as sparingly as possible.

And I’m writing this on a computer!  (Okay…so I’m not a consistent hopeless romantic.)

Back in my monk days, I was taught that everything is useful, if used in moderation.  From pens and paper to books and computers, I was encouraged to discover the meaning of moderation and how it translated into daily life with anything and everything.  This approach startles me out of my grumpy mode to shake me out of a false idealism, and engage everything around me with moderation and wisdom.

I firmly believe that technology has lessons for us with regard to the spiritual path, if only we stop, attentively observe, and uncover those nuggets of wisdom.  Below are a few of the lessons I have gleaned from the “screen world.”

  1. The world – the universe – is HUGE! Yes, this is a “no-duh” thing to say, but technology has really made this a tangible reality.  The sheer amount of information, data and people we can access and influence is truly incredible.  Nearly anything can be understood or studied in depth, with very little time or effort.

The spiritual value of this is sheer awareness; we are part of an immense reality that we are barely conscious of.  If we allow our conscious awareness to expand through mindfulness and meditation, we can begin to see how the immense complexity of life knits itself together into a profound simplicity.

2. We are capable of miracles, once we focus and set our mind to it. I was watching a TV show that first aired when I was a kid, and realized that everyone on the show had corded phones and no privacy.  What a difference a few years made!  Now you can talk, text, email, you-name-it, from anywhere.

 And all of this was possible because of people who dedicated their mental, physical and spiritual energies toward solving problems, and helping the human community become more informed and connected.  If you sit and think about it, these devices we take for granted are truly the stuff of miracles.

 Our own lives are also capable of miracles.  Every time we decide to serve the needs of others; when we choose to change our career path because we desire lives of meaning and value; when we finally leave a toxic friendship or close relationship, in favor of life-giving interactions, we are making a miracle happen.

 3. Comparison kills. Social media is a wonderful way to stay connected to others, and it also contains a potential trap in the mind of the user.  One can compare oneself to others, noting weaknesses and shortcomings in themselves, or in the person they are focusing on at the time.  The result is either a much lower self-esteem, or an elevated, exalted ego trip.

 Regardless of the direction, the ego becomes the primary focus.  Rather than focusing on letting our own heartsong be a guiding force our life, we suddenly become slaves to public opinion and popular trends.

 Rather than spend endless hours in the comparison game (and yes, it does add up to hours!), we can choose to use social media as a tool of connection rather than comparison, and let our heartsong be the driving fire in our lives.

 4. Have quiet spaces, mystery places and eyes for living beings. The technology we have today is wonderful, but it does have its limits.  There is no substitute for silence; not just physical silence, but visual and mental silence as well.  Making time to simply be quiet and alone, unable to be found through the phone or computer, can help us reconnect with our core values, beliefs and attitudes that tend to fall by the wayside in the din of modern life.  We can become fully present to ourselves.

 Make time for other people, too.  When we choose to mute or turn off the phone, decide not to multitask on email while we’re on the phone or talking to someone in front of us, we are making a decision to be fully present to others.  This sheer presence is deeper than any words, and lasts forever.

 5. Tech is a tool, not a life. I can’t tell you how many stories I hear from people who have either lost their phone, or had their phone go berserk, only to discover that they go crazy without the tech with them.  They literally go through withdrawal symptoms!

If you want to lose the “tech DT’s”, choose to look at all of your tech as tools.  They are essentially tools for your self-expression and connection; not internal organs.  Make time every day to simply fast from any technology.  Write a letter.  Go for a run.  Do some yoga.  Meditate.  Be proactive and take charge of your life, rather than be a slave to checking emails and texts every time the phone dings, squawks or plays your favorite music.

You have a life.  Live it to the fullest!

Don Marlette the “Metro Monk” is a medium, coach and teacher on the No Limits Life Staff. You can Learn more about Don, his services and more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

 

Facebook & Your Feelings

Oh Facebook, you allow us the opportunity to connect with people we otherwise wouldn’t connect to. You expose us to all types of perspectives and some of the most amazing recipes known to man. You also provide a home to the dreaded over sharers and complainers of the world that annoy the crap out of us! We ALL have that Facebook friend that drives us mad while we lecture them in our heads, we’ll never understand why they air their dirty laundry publicly or become a politician every time an election comes around.

facebook and friends

These people are draining us energetically, intentional or not.

Have you ever walked away from Facebook feeling more frustrated than before you checked it? If the answer is yes, you might want to rethink how you use it. Why? Because those feelings are in fact tuning your vibrational point of attraction whether you realize it or not. How you feel is your guidance system to know if you are attracting the people and circumstances you want or don’t want. It’s simple, if you’re feeling good you are on the right track to what you want and if you aren’t feeling good you are headed the wrong direction.

Do not despair, you can still use Facebook and keep your vibration on the right side of the tracks.

Consider these things when using Facebook:

Timing: 80% of smartphone users check their phones within 15 minutes of waking up. Most of us haven’t even brushed our teeth and we are opening ourselves up to a world of images and opinions that invoke feelings within us and start our day tuning to a less than ideal frequency. Consider when you check in – I suggest getting intentional with your vibration and getting your feet under you each day before you check in (literally and figuratively). It might mean that you don’t check in until after breakfast or after you’ve started your workday. Try tweaking your timing and see if you notice a difference.

Your friends list: How many friends do you have that you would actually speak to if you saw them in public? How many friends do you have that are negative and self-sabotaging? How many friends do you have that you can count on to provide positive quotes and articles that lift you up? Spend some time going through that friends list and get rid of the ones that don’t make you feel good. If you’re worried about hurt feelings or don’t want to cut the cord completely go to their page and unfollow them. Like magic you’ll no longer have to see them pop up in your feed and you’re still friends. Best of all they’ll never know!

The good stuff: Consider intentionally following pages that provide uplifting content, motivate you to reach your goals and make you feel good. Be intentional about what you’re exposing yourself to and control how you feel when using it. Here’s one of my personal favorites: https://www.facebook.com/NoLimitsLifeCoachingLlc/?fref=ts

At the end of the day you can be drained emotionally and energetically when you check in with the Facebook or you can be uplifted – what are you going to choose?

Abby

Abby Wickersheim is a life coach on the No Limits Life Team.  Her specialty is helping you tune your energies to what you want most in life and taking action to get it.  You can learn more about Abby and her programs at http://www.nolimitslife.guru

13 Declarations of Independence

stone.tifAs Americans we use the word independence with abandon, it sits at the very heart of our existence. It is on our currency, we have an official declaration of it – we view it as a basic right. It is woven into to the fabric of our daily existence.

It’s cool and it never goes out of style.

In March I began what is to be the final tele-class of one of my teachers; she is being called to offer her services more locally than over the phone and declared her independence by following that guidance.  So I jumped at the opportunity to participate.  We are asked to declare our intentions  for the time we will spend in the class early on and I was as surprised as any when the words, “I am looking to become more independent” came out when I was called to share.

I wasn’t exactly sure what I meant by that, mostly because I have been pretty good at making my own decisions and deciding what works and what doesn’t in my life. But I have also experienced it as a double edge sword: sometimes alienating and sometimes empowering.

As we have gone through the course, opportunities to explore independence have come up.  Yet, it was just this morning where I connected with spirit and thoughts truly flowed.  What I learned was that it was time to get crystal clear on what it meant to be independent instead of simply being pushed and pulled by whatever felt good in the moment, as is my tendency.

From that sprung the 13 declarations of independence for my life. Perhaps a few will make sense to you and you can adopt – or create your own list of declarations:

  1. Independence means wanting but not needing.
  2. Independence means loving but not clinging.
  3. Independence means knowing I am amazing as me and amazing as we.
  4. Independence is not just plenty, but full.
  5. Independence is never feeling alone in the crowded room.
  6. Independence means knowing I can and still enjoying help.
  7. Independence is seeing how help is a multiplier, not a weakness.
  8. Independence is doing it my way as a plan, not a rebellion.
  9. Independence means knowing who to surround myself with and who to keep at a distance.
  10. Independence is caring for others only as much as I care for myself.
  11. Independence is creating new experiences, not collecting things.
  12. Independence means knowing who I am, unconcerned with what others perceive me to be.
  13. Independence is trusting infinite spirit more than finite self.

Independence is more than simply an idea up on a shelf; independence is an action we must take every day. There is very little passive energy in independence.  Independence requires maintenance and attention and attendance.  If we are complacent, independence become co-dependence, we place our fate in someone else’s hands, and let them decide. We lose who we are.

What action do you need to take today to claim your independence, to be who you really truly are in your authentic energy?

Jennifer Murphy is the universe’s premier advocate of The Art of Living Dangerously. A lifestyle she personifies in her partnering with coaching clients, her work as a glass artist writer and single parenting her amazing soccer playing son. Learn more at http://www.nolimitslife.guru